Divergent Fanfic
by inmcc
Summary: Here is my Fanfic from the Divergent book, by Veronica Roth. This is only a try, so I'd like to know if you wanted me to continue the story. Thanks. PS. I know there are several mistakes in my writing, I'm sorry, but English is not my native language.
1. Chapter One - Faction Test

**Chapter one - Faction Test**

I'm at the Candor's Bus Station waiting for the school bus to arrive. I'm alone so far. Today every sixteen year old teenager has to do the Faction Test that will tell us which faction is the more appropriated for us to live in. Most parents prefer to take their children to school, so they will feel supported. My parents are sure that I don't fit my own faction, so they don't bother to come with me today.

"Hi, Isabelle! How are you?"

It's Kate, she's my neighbor. She and her twin brother are probably the only Candor to come with me today, in the bus. Their mom is pregnant so she can't take them to school.

I don't answer her. As I was taught not to lie, I won't say I'm okay, but I also won't say I am not because I don't want to worry her.

"On a mute mode again?" She asks. "C'mon Isabelle, you have to be at least excited! We're going to know what our real quality is today!"

I press my own lips together and try to ignore her.

"Leave her alone. She doesn't want to talk." I look up to Emmett, surprised.

He was staring at me, but he turns his head when our eyes cross. I think it's the first time I hear Emmett's voice outside the classroom. He is usually quiet, though if somebody asks him a question he'll answer.

"You are the two most annoying persons in the world!" Kate complains.

Both Kate and Emmett are tall - which makes me feel uncomfortable, as I'm one of the shortest girls in our class. Apart from that, nobody would say that these two are twins; I wouldn't, if I didn't know them since I was born. Kate is blonde and has brown eyes; Emmett, in the opposite, has dark hair and amazing blue eyes. Sometimes I envy those eyes, not just because they're pretty, but because they're smart and never miss anything. As me, I'm pretty sure Emmett doesn't fit Candor. I wonder what is he going to choose tomorrow, at the ceremony.

When the bus arrives we get in. The Abnegation sits are the only ones that are full, as every normal day. The rest are almost empty. Of course I'm not counting on Dauntless because they don't go to school by bus, as every normal person. They come in trains and then jump out of them when they're still in movement. They call themselves braves, I call them irresponsible.

Kate sits next to Emmett so I stay alone in the front sit, but I can still hear them talking.

"What do you think it's going to be your result?" Kate asks.

"I don't know." By the sound of his voice I can see that Emmett doesn't want to talk either. As always.

"I just hope I get Candor as result, I mean, I've been prepared to be a Candor all my life, if…" Kate keeps on talking but I stop listening to her.

As the bus leads us to school I think about my Faction Test. As I said, I won't get Candor, I'm a hundred percent sure of that. Even though I don't lie, I also can't always say what I think, like Kate. If someone asks me a question that I would like to give a lie as answer, I simply pinch my lips and stay quiet; by doing so I know I won't get criticized by other Candors.

But what's really been worrying me is that I'm selfish so I won't fit Abnegation, also I'm not friendly to fit Amity either. I'm smart but not as much as the Erudite members that take classes with me. And I would never fit Dauntless because I think what they do is stupid, so what am I going to choose?

The bus stops and makes me lose my thoughts. Erudite is the first faction to get out. Candor goes next. Amity comes right after us and Abnegation is the last, as they're selfless.

As soon as I'm outside I go inside the school and go find the waiting room for the Candor faction. Today each faction has a waiting room for before the test, where sixteen year old teenagers must wait until they're called to do their test. After that we can go home, no classes today. Unfortunately my room is right next to the Dauntless Train Station, so it means that I'll have to watch those show-offs jumping.

Emmett is casually leaned against the wall, while Kate walks from one side of the hall to the other. I try to remain calm, as Emmett, but it's not working. I'm ready to start acting as Kate when Emmett interrupts my thoughts.

"Are you afraid?" He asks, with his eyes fixed on the ground.

I hesitate. He must be really scared, it's the third time he says something in the same day.

"Yes." I say in a low voice.

He nods.

We hear a noise and I know the train is coming, in the exact same moment, the school bell rings. Here comes our morning show!

While the train passes, lots of Dauntless members jump to the hall. I watch some of them almost falling because they don't keep running after they jump.

"Maybe you two would like to come in." I turn around and see my Math's teacher.

I didn't notice that Emmett was observing the Dauntless too.

He gets in the room and I follow him. After we come in, our teacher closes the door. Everyone is already inside. We take the only two chairs left at the end of the room, so I have to share my table with Emmett. We both make sure to keep our chairs as far as we can from each other's.

I have to admit that being with him when Kate is not around makes me feel very uncomfortable. As I always hang out with these two, I'm not used to be alone with a guy.

Our teacher gives us a brief explanation, explaining that today our names will be called according to the alphabet, and tomorrow – the day of the ceremony – they'll call us by our last names, and in the inverse order of the alphabet.

I don't listen to her while she calls name by name; I just look at my old classmates and neighbors getting out of the room to not come back. I'm starting to panic, but I keep looking at the door. I know Emmett is watching me, and I don't want him to get even scared than he already is.

There's a break of ten minutes between every name, so it can't be a long test can it?

Our teacher calls another name, and, for the first time, it's a name that calls my attention, and makes my heart skip a beat.

"Emmett Hills."

I look at him. He was already staring at me, so I can see the fear in his eyes. How was he even controlled when we were in the hall?

"It will be fine." I say. "Good luck."

He nods, and gets up, walking towards the door. Kate takes his chair as soon as the door is closed behind him.

She opens her mouth several times, but she doesn't say anything. I'm looking at the door, as if I was waiting to see Emmett come back. Is it the possible that I only realized today that I actually have a bond with this boy. I realize that what's was been holding me to Kate and Emmett it's not the fact that they're the only ones that got used to my mute treatment, it's the fact that I don't want anybody else. And it was the weakest presence that made all the difference.

"Isabelle Moore." My hearth speeds and I seem to have trouble breathing while I walk towards the door. I noticed that there are only five people left in the room. One of them is me, another is my teacher. As it passed that long time since Emmett left? Time is trying to make fun of us.

After I pass through the door there's an assistant waiting for me.

"Follow me." She asks.

I do as she says, in part because I have no other choice.

She stops when we get to a door that says "RESTRICTED ENTRY."

"Go on." She encourages me.

I hold the door handle and push it. I don't know what I was expecting to see, but it wasn't that, definitely. Behind the door there's a big chair that's connected to a computer by wires.

There's a young woman sitting in front of the computer. She has a dark blonde hair and wears glasses. I can tell by her clothes that she's from Abnegation. When she notices that I'm waiting she tells me to sit in the chair and starts connecting wires to my head.

"What is this?" I ask.

"It's for the test. Now, if you don't mind, you'll have to drink this." She gives me a glass with a clear liquid on the inside. "It won't hurt you, it's just to put you asleep."

I take the glass and drink the liquid. It doesn't have a taste. It's like water. She takes the glass out of my hands right before I feel myself pass out.

I open my eyes and I'm now in the dining hall. There are two tables here, one has a knife on top of it, and the other has cheese.

"_Choose one." _It's the women's voice.

"But I don't like any of them." I say. Knifes scare me, and I don't like cheese.

"_Just choose."_

"I'm not going to chose."

She takes some time to answer, to see if I want to change my mind.

"_Okay. It's your choice."_

Both knife and cheese disappear. And there's now a dog standing in front of me. I panic, I'm not good with animals, and he doesn't appear to be happy.

As I decided not to take the knife or the cheese, I have nothing to help me now, so I do what I'm best at. I ignore the dog. As I don't care about him, he doesn't care about me either, which makes me breathe normally again. This test it's not that hard is it?

At the same moment this last thought crossed my mind, a little girl comes out of nowhere, and stands right next to the dog. The dog gets angry again, because he feels a threat. I look at the scene and understand what the dog is preparing to do.

Without thinking, I run to the kid. My actions distract the dog that is now preparing to jump over me. I can even feel the fury in his eyes. I hold the kid in my arms and help her climbing to the table where the knife was standing. Once I turn around and look inside the dog's eyes, he runs to me, preparing to attack. I wait for the pain to come, but she never shows up.

Instead, the whole scenario changes. I'm now on a train, which, for a brief moment, reminds me of the Dauntless I saw this morning, and I wonder if I'm going to have to jump.

"Have you seen this boy?" Someone is pulling my arm. I turn around and I see an old man. He is holding a sheet of paper that says "WANTED: Dead or alive." And I look at the draw below and I get in shock with what I see. It's Emmett!

"Do you know him? If you've seen him before you have to tell me!" As always, I don't say a word, so that I won't lie. But he insists that I know the boy and that I have to tell him where to find him.

"I've never seen him, okay?" I surprise myself with my own words. This is the first time I lied, in my entire life. And this is not even real!

Everything goes dark for a second, and then I'm in the test room again. My evaluator is already taking the wires out of my head.

"Second time in the same day. This will definitely call attentions. You listen to me girl, you better be careful."

"Why? What happened?" I know it's related to my test.

"Your test. It was… inconclusive." My heart falls to the ground. I knew it. I'm no good to any faction, that's why I don't even fit the one I was born in. "You've shown to possess skills to be in almost every faction." She continues.

What? Every faction? No, that's not possible.

"Yes… All but Amity. Of course Abnegation and Candor weren't well defined, but they were definitely there." She is now talking to herself.

"But what do I do now? What do I choose?" She turns to me, as of she only remembered I was there now.

"I have to send your results to the data base manually, no one can know this!" She runs to the computer and starts pressing a lot of buttons at the same time, without providing me an answer for any of my questions. "I'm going to put Dauntless in your file, okay sweetheart?"

I don't care what she puts in my file. I just want to know what to do; this test was supposed to provide us answers. I think the liquid is still affecting me, because I walk towards the evaluator and force her to look at me.

"What. Do. I. Do? What's really happening?"

I don't know what she sees in my face, but it's something that scares her.

"You're a… a… _Divergent_." She whispers.

I feel my hands losing its strength and letting her go. Most people don't know what the word Divergent means, but I do, I've heard stories about them. And they don't usually have happy endings.


	2. Chapter Two - Not Alone

**Chapter Two – Not alone**

Even though I left that test room about an hour ago, every word that my evaluator told me after the test is still resounding in my head. "You've shown to possess skills to almost every faction"; "Yes, all but Amity"; "You're a _Divergent_."

Even the way she said it scares me. I know Divergent people don't survive for a long time in here. We're not supposed to know about them but I heard some stories – Candors are not very good at keeping their mouth quiet. Stories about torture and death, which are mostly caused by Erudite members. I'm pretty sure my mom said something about them being jealous of Divergent people. At the time I agreed with her – in my mind obviously, I don't talk much at home. Not that I talk much out of there – but now I don't see why any Erudite would be jealous of me.

I'm now at my street. I decided not to come by bus so I would have time to think. Everyone went to the dining hall after the test to celebrate our last day as students. Personally I don't know how they can celebrate after a test like that. But I think I was probably the only one to see Emmett on my test, that's the part that really shocked me. I lied. I lied to protect Emmett.

I keep walking without notice what is in my way. My parents aren't at home yet so I can go there and be alone.

My plans are ruined when I see someone sitting on the stairs of my porch. I can't tell who it is because of the sun, which is coming from the front and hits me right in the eyes.

When I finally get there and see who's waiting for me I just want to find a hole and hide inside it. It's Emmett.

Why isn't he celebrating with the others? Why isn't Kate with him? Why is he on my porch? Is it possible that someone told him he was on my test?

"Hey." He says. I'm still not used to hear is voice outside the classroom.

I don't answer, instead I observe him. He's shaking, just as I was a minute ago. Now I'm relaxed, for some reason, I feel safe. He's not looking at me, his eyes are focused somewhere in the floor. I can see that his muscles are tense, and he took off his jacket. As always we're combining. Black jeans and white shirt. That's how all the candors dress up. According to our faction truth is as clear as black and white. Though girls use to like dresses, I stick to boys' clothes, as I call them.

I sit in the porch right next to him.

"You okay?" I ask.

He nods but still not looking at me. I feel relieve inside of me. He doesn't know anything about my test. If he did, he would have mentioned it already.

We're not allowed to ask about other people's tests so I don't ask him. I look at the floor just as he's doing, thinking about my own test. Thinking about Emmett. Thinking about the choice I'll have to make this night, or tomorrow morning. I just know that I have to decide before the ceremony.

After a few minutes I can't hold the silence anymore.

"Emmett have you –" Without me expecting it, he looks at me when I say his name as if it was the first time I said it. And then I realize: it is. "Never mind." I say, embarrassed.

His blue eyes stare at me for the first time after the test. He keeps staring for minutes, maybe hours. I don't know. I can only tell that I don't feel comfortable with it, but at the same time I don't want him to stare at the floor again. He looked… _sad _before.

"It's okay. You can ask." He says with a smile. Again, even with the smile, I can tell he's sad. And suddenly I hate the damn test. I hate it for not giving me answers, I hate it because it will decide our lives and, more than everything, I hate it because it made him sad.

"Have you ever lied?" The words come out of my mind as a murmur, but I know he heard. He has too, I'm too scared to ask it again.

For a brief moment I can see he's surprised but that only lasts for a second, then he hides is feelings, just as he has done all his life. I'm looking right in his eyes and I can feel my heart beating faster than I thought it was possible, but still I don't look away. I don't try to avoid him and I don't regret my question.

"Yes." He whispers.

I look down, not knowing what to say. His answer surprised me, just as my question surprised him. Even not looking at him, I can tell that he's looking around to see if there's anybody else on the street. I wonder if he regrets confessing me what he did, but then he surprises me even more with another question.

"Do you ever feel guilty by wanting to change faction? I mean, because of your family."

I feel my eyes meeting his eyes and my heart skipping a beat before I know what I'm doing.

"How –" I shake my head, forcing myself to think straight. "How do you know I want to leave?"

He opens his mouth to answer me, but he never gets to do it.

"There you are! I've been looking for you two!" Kate is running toward us from the other side of the street - same direction as the bus station - and only stops when she reaches us.

Both me and Emmett stare at Kate, to uncomfortable to say something.

"Why did you two come home without telling me?" She looks at us - sitting in my porch side by side, almost touching each other - with a suspicious look. "I had to come by bus alone."

_What and horrible thing. _I think. _Can't imagine spending ten minutes on bus without having anyone to talk to. _

I stand up and I can feel Emmett's eyes staring at me, but I avoid them.

"I have to make dinner." I explain and get in my house.

After dinner I went right to bed. My parents didn't think that was weird, as I lock myself in my bedroom every time they don't force me to be downstairs with them.

I'm looking at the ceiling and thinking about Emmett's last words. Actually I thought about them every single minute I spend at the table, pretending I was eating. Eventually I got to a conclusion. No. I don't feel guilty. I wish I could answer him now. It would probably make him feel better. I think about Emmett and Kate in their house. I bet Kate told him everything about her test, even though it's forbidden. She just can't keep her mouth shut. I can even see her in my mind, trying to force him to tell how his test went. And he won't tell, or he'll lie.

I'm not shocked that he lied anymore; I think I've always known. I mean, how can you live with Kate and always tell truth? You can't. Emmett lied, and that's okay, because he doesn't belong here. And neither do I. I'm wondering what Emmett is going to choose tomorrow.

Thinking about tomorrow makes me feel sick. Divergent. What am I going to do with that? What am I going to choose?

At least I know Amity is not an option, but what about the rest? Not Candor, I lied. Abnegation, maybe. I think if I tried really hard I could fit there, but then I remember what I thought right after Kate arrived. Abnegation is crossed too. What's left? Dauntless and Erudite. Both factions I dislike. It's not that I have something against Erudite, it's probably where Emmett is going, he's very smart, but I'm not, and that's what I dislike about Erudite members. They're clever than me.

And that's when we come to the last faction: Dauntless. I'm definitely not going there. I won't become a show off, full of tattoos and piercings. I don't think I would like to carry a piece of medal threaded in my nose. And so I come to the same point I was this morning. I don't know why they force us to do this stupid test if it doesn't provide us answers.

I keep thinking about the test and know this is going to be a long night. Hours later, when I think I can't stand my headache anymore, I stand up, alert, with something I just remembered and I feel so stupid for not noticing that before.

"Second time in the same day. This will definitely call attentions. (…)"

_Second time._

_Second person._

_Another person. _

_Someone like me, in my faction._

_I'm not alone. _

_There's another… Divergent._

It doesn't take me anytime to understand who that person is. And a bunch of feelings pass through me, but only three that I recognize. Shock. Then relieve. And at last fear. Not for me. Now, thus I never thought I would feel this again, I feel safe to know that have someone so close to me that understands. No, I fear for the boy who has always been there. For my best friend.

I fear for Emmett.


	3. Chapter Three - Choosing Ceremony

**Chapter Three – Choosing Ceremony**

It feels so weird when my mom gets in my room, saying that the bus is arriving in five minutes and I have to go, I'm completely awake, though I didn't sleep all night. Thinking about the Ceremony… Thinking about Emmett. I can feel that this year Candor will have more transfers than usual.

As I go in the Candor's bus – this is the only day every faction as an exclusive bus that will only take their member to the Center. The Center is the most height building in Chicago, and unfortunately the Ceremony happens in the terrace. I never told anyone, but I'm afraid of heights, like my heart stops beating and I barely breathe.

Once we're in the Center I can see that a lot of persons still in the entry, making difficult the access to the stairs, or the elevators. I can see a group of people dressed in gray choosing the stairs, but I my mom and my dad to the elevators without asking them if they don't mind to wait. I'm not from Abnegation, so I don't have the duty to tire myself by climbing the stairs, while other people go by elevator.

While the elevator goes up I start panicking. I don't like heights, I don't like heights. I keep on thinking the same phrase until we get to the terrace. There I see all the other sixteen year-old teenagers, organizing themselves according to their last name, in the opposite order of the alphabet. I know my parents have to go to the circle where the Candors watch so I turn around to say something but I don't come up with anything. What can I say? Goodbye? I love you? That would be a lie, I don't love them; at least not as other kids seem to love their parents. In fact, I think I hate my parents for always ignoring me just because I don't fit our faction – their faction.

So I just nod and walk way. As I go find my place among the other teenagers I look for a sign of Emmett or Kate. I haven't seen them on the bus. I can't find them, so I think they might be late. It's normal that this happens, I heard. The bus makes about five trips before everyone from Candor is here.

People keep arriving and all I can think is: Erudite or Dauntless? Erudite or Dauntless?

I excluded Abnegation during the night, and Candor was never a choice, so I was left with these two. I thought about Erudite several times, mostly because I was sure it was the faction Emmett is going to choose, but I know it's not for me. And then when I got left with Dauntless I just thought: I'm not becoming a show-off. Never. So back to two factions again.

I wish there was a faction for people who don't fit in any faction, or at least not enough to choose only one. And then I realized that there is. It's called faction less.

But I'm not a faction less, I think. Faction less is someone who choose the wrong faction and then don't pass the initiation. No, I'm Divergent.

For a moment I look to the boy from Amity that is in my left, and to the girl from Erudite that is standing on my right. I'm afraid they might know what I'm thinking.

I let my eyes focus on the Erudite girl. _This is a female version of what Emmett is going to be in the future. _I think, and then feel the pain inside my chest. I'm probably going to trade my best friend for a bunch of show-offs with suicidal thoughts.

I look at the Amity member that is responsible for calling the names this year. Every year, a different faction gets to do it. This year is Amity's year. It's a blonde woman that is wearing a yellow dress. Doesn't fit her, it's too much yellow for only one person. She's now approaching to the microphone and I know it's going to start.

_Dauntless or Erudite? Dauntless or Erudite?_

She makes the opening speech and I don't hear a word about what she's saying. Instead I let my eyes focus in the five big metal bowls containing the substances that represent each faction. Gray stones representing Abnegation; glass for Candor; water representing Erudite, land for Amity; and hot coals representing Dauntless.

When our name is called, the Amity woman will give us a knife. With the knife we'll have to cut our hand and then drop the blood in the bowl representing the faction we want. I don't know how I'm going to do it, I'm afraid of knifes.

Anyway, what I'm thinking now is: _It's going to be my blood in water, or my blood burning in hot coal. _

"…They divided us into five factions, and tried to eradicate the features they saw as responsible for the disruption of the world." The amity woman stops to take a fast breath.

I know these words. She's telling the story of what happened after the war. Now she's going to say the believing of every faction.

"Those who blamed aggression formed Amity." She starts.

The Amity members smile to each other, but I simply think: Nope, not for me.

"Those who blamed ignorance formed Erudite."

I don't know, do I blame ignorance? I'm not that smart myself.

"Those who blame dishonesty became Candor."

I sigh. _No. No. No. _

"Those who blamed selfishness formed Abnegation."

I blame selfishness, I do, but I'm selfish myself.

"And finally, those who blamed cowardice became Dauntless."

Do I blame cowardice? I think I do. Maybe if we weren't all such cowards some of us could help the faction less or even me, the _Divergent._

She keeps talking explain how our society works. Abnegation on the government, Erudite in school and bla, bla, bla.

And then, from nowhere I remember that phrase they taught us on primary school. _Faction before blood. _

I always thought it fits me, because I was ready to choose any other faction and leave my family behind, but now that I'm here, I can only wish that we could all go back home and it would be like always. Me, not talking too much but somehow still had friends. Kate and Emmett. Again my chest hurts with the thought that I'll leave them behind, but I now see that I don't care about leaving Kate, I always knew I was going to move and leave her there, where she belongs. Is the fact that I don't know if I'm ever going to see Emmett again that makes me panic.

The woman starts to call name by name, and I watch the other sixteen year old teenagers choosing their faction. I see them, and know them, but it's like it was the first time I saw them.

I notice a girl – the first to change faction from Erudite to Candor – and hear all the Erudite members making some sort of disgusting noise. Like if they wanted to spit on her. And that's when I see it; my evaluator did something right, she put Dauntless in my file. I don't even know I considered Erudite as a choice, I'm not like _them. _I'm a show-off, I've always been, or at least, I was always jealous of the Dauntless. Besides, Erudite was never a choice, right? They hate the name Divergent, and they will easily find that I'm one of those called Divergent. I just cross my finger and pray for Emmett to realize the same thing I just did.

I didn't pay attention to the other teenagers that were choosing their faction, so I don't know who changed faction, until…

"Isabelle Moore."

As I walk I look at the Dauntless faction. At least three transfers are there already, none of them from Candor or Abnegation. I'm going to be the first in my faction.

When the Amity lady lends me the knife I portrait myself, but then I think, _this is my first challenge as Dauntless, knifes and heights. _So I take the knife and cut my hand, before the first drop of blood falls in the carpet and put my hand on top of the bowl with the hot coal. I can almost feel the fire in my veins when the small drop reaches the coal.

For a minute all is silent, and then I hear the scream.

"This isn't a surprise."

I didn't saw who talked but when I turn around to the crowd after I join the other Dauntless members I can see movement in there and a blonde girl pulling the arm of a tall boy with dark hair. So then I knew, no matter if I was going alone to this new faction, I can always count on Kate and Emmett.

Another two transfers join me, again none of them from Candor or Abnegation. And that's when the lady calls "Kate Hills."

I watch Kate cutting her hand and her blood falling in the Candor's bowl, but she does it so slowly it's like she is saying goodbye instead of hello to the rest of her life, like she left a piece of her behind.

I know exactly the name that's going to be called next but my heart still skips a beat and I hold my breath while Emmett walks and takes the knife. He hesitates looking at all the bowls and then to his family, including Kate. I close my eyes when he presses the knife on his palm but I can't keep them closed for long. I watch his dark red blood draining through his arm, and then he walks toward the bowls. Once he reaches them we all watch his blood slowly falling in the hot coal.

I could swear he was smiling while he was walking towards us, but the smile is gone when he stands right by my side, not caring about the other transfer that were already standing next to me.

"No." I say. "I don't feel guilty."

He smiles again, a sad smile though, as the one he had in my porch. And again there's that pain in my chest.

I feel his finger looking for my hand and I look down to it.

"I don't regret my decision either." The way he said is very clear for me, he feels guilty, but he is okay with it. I look up again and watch the sadness disappearing from his expression and becoming the smiling Emmett, the one I missed and the one I loved… as a friend, I mean.

When he finally grabs my hand he tightens it softly. I smile too, looking at the other teenagers choosing their faction, but my mind is far from there.

I'm thinking about all the summers where Emmett didn't speak, just played with me and Kate. And then sometimes, when Kate wasn't looking he gave me one of his shy smiles, as if he was surprised with the fact that I bothered looking at him.

_Again, I see, I'm not alone._

**A/N: Please give me some reviews, this is like third chapter and I didn't get almost any review so I'd like you to tell me if I should keep working on this. **

**P.S: Fourth chapter comes after August 28****th****, because I'll be out on holidays from 18****th**** to 28****th****. **


	4. Chapter Four - Becoming a Dauntless

**Chapter Four – Becoming a Dauntless**

When the choosing ceremony ends there are eight transfers standing by my side – one of them is Emmett – and ten Dauntless-initiates in front of me. Max, the Dauntless head, starts running toward the stairs and we have to follow him, leaving both Abnegation and Amity factions behind to clean the terrace. If I recall next year will be Abnegation's year to present the ceremony so they will have to clean it all alone. Emmett's hand is still on mine and I have no intention to let it go.

As we run down stairs, I feel my panic slowly disappearing. At least I'm not on top of a building anymore. I know worse things are coming now that I became a Dauntless member - I mean, now that _I'm trying_ to become a Dauntless member – but I can think about it later, right?

When we get to the street I think we're going to stop and wait for the train, but no, the train is already arriving. I look up to Emmett, while we're still running.

"Together?" I ask?

He doesn't answer me, because the first Dauntless-initiates are already jumping to the train, but he still pressures my hand while we run, parallel to the train.

"Now!" I hear Emmett screaming and I jump, feeling him pulling me. He gets in the train before me and holds the door handle. I end up by almost hitting his chest when I get in the train, and suddenly it's as if a strange electrical current passed through me when I feel a sweet, but male smell coming from his body, standing so close to mine. My heart is pounding against my chest, my cheeks burn and my brain can't think straight. Again I want to find a hole and hide, but I also want to stay here.

I go in the wagon, still stupefied by what just happened, and sit with my back leaning against the wall, staying as far as I can from him. I regret it immediately, now Emmett is going to think I'm afraid of physical contact, like Abnegation members. Well, there's not much I can do now. I try to look at him to see if his mad or something, but he is already staring at me – as I'm starting to notice he does more often than I thought – so I look around. By doing so, I notice that one of the transfers is missing. One that became faction less even before the real initiation starts. We're eight now, how many are we going to lose until the end of it? Am I going to be one of them? Is Emmett? I bet he won't, I remember when Kate accidentally made him fell from a tree once and he dislocated his shoulder; he didn't even complain even though he was on great pain.

I observe the rest of the transfers. There are two girls and a boy from Erudite, two boys from Amity – one of them looks really sad, I'm thinking it might have something to do with the transfer that didn't jump – and at last, a lonely girl from Abnegation. It's weird that Abnegation members change faction. That kind of gives bad fame to the transfer's family. And Abnegation are suppose to think about the others before they think about themselves, so Abnegation kids have to think about their families first.

I focus on the girl. She's wearing the typical gray clothes from Abnegation and her head is cocked down. She has short brown hair and is too skinny. I always thought that Abnegation members must skip meals; they're all like her. Okay, I'm not fat or anything, but I'm also not that skinny, I guess we can say I'm an in-between.

"Time to jump!" Screams one of the Dauntless-initiates.

The girl from Abnegation starts to stand up and I look at her face. She's pretty for a Stiff. Stiff is what everyone calls to an Abnegation member. I stand up too, and look for Emmett. He is right next to the door so he will be one of the first ones to jump.

I stay behind and wait for the others to jump. I don't know if I'm going to make it, not without Emmett. I approach to the door as the wagon starts to get empty and I see the blue eyes I've always envied waiting for me at the door. He didn't jump.

I walk towards him, and when I look right into his eyes I know something is wrong. He looks to the side, to the open door. My head turns to the side and I see what he sees: we're at the height of seven floors! I start to panic, but there's only me and Emmett left in the train, we're probably almost in the end of the building. We have to jump now, or become faction less. I step backward, pulling Emmett's arm so that he comes with me, then I let it go and run to the wagon's door, jumping when I can't run anymore.

I feel myself levitate for a few seconds and then I'm falling to the ground, the problem is: I didn't jump far enough! I'm going to fall, _I'm going to fall!_ I see Emmett's figure jumping over me and I stretch my arms, trying to reach him. But I don't. Instead I grab the ledge of the building. My body hits the wall and I almost drop the ledge.

Even though I'm still thinking I'm going to fall and die – or simply die from concussion after hitting the wall -, I put all my strength in my arms, which is quite difficult as I can't stop trembling. My hands turn red and then white. _I can't, _I think, I'm too weak. I'm ready to let myself fall and face my death when two large hands hold me by my wrists and pull me to the top of the building.

It's not Emmett, I know it before I get to see who my savior is – Emmett's hands are thin and soft and my skin burns when they touch me -, but it's for Emmett I look for when my feet are finally on the concrete ground, if we can call it ground. I sigh from relieve. He's okay. He's getting up now; he probably fell when he jumped.

I now feel free to look at my savior. It's a Dauntless-initiate boy. He is taller than me, but not as tall as Emmett. He has dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. His skin is pale, just like mine and has a lot of scars on his arms. Dauntless scars. Again, I compare him to Emmett, whose skin is tam from the sun, and has no marks of violence on it.

"Thanks." I say.

The boy smiles. "You can call me Owen."

I nod. He waits, so I say "Isabelle."

He keeps on smiling, and then looks to the other side of the terrace. I follow his eyes. Max is staring at us with a reproving look on his face: I should be death. We're not the only ones that are not on their respective group yet, but Max is not the only one looking at us, Emmett is staring at us too, with an expression I've never seen before. I could mistake it for sadness, but it goes farther than that, like… pain. I wonder if his fall was too hard. My arms still hurting, but I can handle the pain.

I look around to see where the other initiates are. Some of them are near the ledge, looking to the street down there. I don't want to approach to ledge again, but I feel tempted to do it. Why are they all looking down there? Then I see what's missing. Better, _who_ is missing: the Stiff is no longer with us. I feel sorry for her; I didn't even get to know her name. Now we're seven, and the Dauntless-initiates still being ten. Is that going to be any important?

"Am I going to have to wait for longer?" Asks Max.

Owen rolls his eyes and joins the other Dauntless-initiates, I, in my turn, walk towards the other transfers, only stopping when I'm standing right next to Emmett. My fingers look for his hand and when I find it I pressure it softly, telling him we'll eventually get used to the pain. I wait for him to pressure my hand back but he doesn't, and I wonder what exactly his problem is. But, when I'm ready to take my hand out of his hand he closes his hand around mine and keeps it steady.

Everybody is pretty quiet when Max starts talking.

"Everybody listen, I'm Max. I'm one of the heads of your new faction." One of? I thought he was the only head of the Dauntless, he is sure the oldest, for what I can see. "Okay, somewhere down there is the Dauntless headquarters. To get there you'll have to jump. If you can't control your fear this is no place for you." He smiles. "Transfers do the honors today."

I know there's noise around me – probably transfers complaining about what has been asked for us to do -, but I don't hear a word. I literally can't breathe and I know I'm getting paler than usual when Emmett stands in front of me.

"Isabelle, calm down. They wouldn't ask for it if it wasn't safe." He knows I can't do it. He knows I'm afraid of heights. Even if I've never told anyone, Emmett knows. I know he does. "Look, I'll jump first and then I'll wait for you down there, okay?" He lets my hand go. "Don't let me down Is."

I want to stop him but my arms don't move, actually, my whole body doesn't move. What did he just call me?

"Looks like there's at least someone courageous in here." Max says while Emmett prepares to jump. Right before he jumps, Emmett turns to me and smiles, saying: "I'll way for you Is, don't let me down." And, even though I'm still hardly breathing and my heart beats at the speed of light, I smile back to him. Then he jumps.

"Who wants to go next?" Max's question is a bit late. The boy from Erudite is already approaching to ledge. Typical from an Erudite, they can't deal with not being the number one. After he jumps one of the girls that came with him jumps too. Then a boy from Amity, the one that wasn't sad on the train. There are only three of us left, and I know my time has come.

Trembling, I walk toward the ledges. "Go, Isabelle!" I hear, and turn around to see Owen's smile. I get to the ledge and close my eyes. I can't even believe in what I'm about to do. I bow my knees and jump, towards what, I don't know. But I know towards whom, and that makes me smile in the middle of my fall.

I crash into something hard and elastic: a net. I take and deep breath and roll to the side. I'm already feeling enough pain without having another initiate crashing me. I end up by falling on a wooden floor, which makes the pain harder. I'll be admired if tomorrow my body isn't covered on a big bruise.

Before I even try to get up, I feel a hand pulling me by the arm and an arm around my waist. Emmett's touch is gentile and warm, but I freeze. Nobody has ever touched me like this, not in this careful and protective way. Once I'm on my feet again Emmett let's my arm go, but he keeps his arm around my waist.

"Almost thought you're going to let me down." He says with a smile on his face.

I watch the first Dauntless-initiate falling on the net – a blonde girl that reminds me of Kate – and almost in the next second, Owen.

"Never." I say, looking back to Emmett. I blush, and now I'm thankful I chose Dauntless. They're headquarter reminds me of a cave. Dark and cold. Emmett can take my words as if I was talking about the fact that we've know each other like forever, as he can't see that I'm blushing. What am I thinking? _That's exactly what I'm talking about._

A tall guy, older than us, maybe for a year or two, approaches to us and looks to Emmett's arm around my waist before he lifts his eyebrows.

"The bravest are always the lucky ones." He says, as if for some reason, he doubted that. Standing right next to Emmett, this guy could be his older brother. Same height, blue eyes, dark hair.

"This is Four." Says Emmett. "One of our instructors."

Four? What kind of nickname is that?

"Hey Four!" Owen joins us, which makes Emmett contract his arm's muscles. I'm confused, what's his problem with Owen? "Just heard the news. Please tell me you're staying with us? I can't have my sister as my instructor; she's going to make it harder for me!"

Four smiles. "Sorry kid. I'm staying with the transfers in my first year."

Owen sighs and says something incomprehensible.

"Lucky you Isabelle by staying with Four, he's-" He starts, but then, Owen too, notices Emmett's arm around my waist. I have to admit it, I liked it when it was just me and Emmett, but now it's starting to make me uncomfortable. "And you are?" Owen asks.

It's Four who answers. "Emmett, the first transfer to jump this year." He turns to me. "Isabelle, right?" He says while he takes the pen cap out.

I think about it for a brief second. "Actually it's Is." Now I'm totally free from my old life. Well, not totally, I have Emmett, let's say, only the bad parts. Emmett pressures my waist softly and I smile. From now on I have a new faction, a new house and a new name. The rest, I'll figure out as I go.

**A/N: Long chapter, and hard to write, hope you liked it. Reviews would be great, please guys, I always give my best and it will feel good to have at least 5 reviews from this chapter. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter Five - Boys

**Chapter Five – Boys**

Four left us to join Lauren – who I think is Owen's sister – with a fast smile and a "Welcome to the Dauntless faction", leaving me with Emmett and Owen. They're looking at each other and I'm trying to find a way to escape from Emmett's arm, so when Four tells us to follow him and Lauren and Emmett lows his arm, I feel like I could kiss Four right now.

We're now passing through a narrow tunnel with walls made of stone and a tilted roof. Again, I have the feeling that we're in some sort of cave. There are some circles in the walls that barely illuminate our way; anybody could be hidden between two of those lamps.

Owen stops, pulling my arm so that I won't hit the Dauntless initiate that is standing in from of me, and I pull Emmett's arm too. Once we realize the three of us are forming a chain, we let go each other's arms.

"This is where the Dauntless-initiates leave. I'm thinking that none of them will need a guided tour." Lauren says.

"I think the fall made me forgot some things sis, I'll just go with the transfers and meet you later." Owen answers her, with a smile on his face. We don't have time to laugh before Lauren answers him back.

"Okay, then I think I can show you how to get to the tattoos store, in case you still don't remember. I heard they were needing someone to clean it." The Dauntless-initiates laugh, and then disappear in the darkness. Owen lets me see him rolling his eyes before he follows them, leaving us with Four.

"Okay, for those who don't know, my name is Four. I was transfer last year, just like you. Now I work in the computers room, but in the next weeks I'll be training you." He says.

"So this is the first time you're doing it?" I can't see whose talking because it's too dark, but I'm thinking it's the boy from Erudite.

"Yes, any problem?" Four defies him. It's weird to think that Four is only one year older than all of us.

"Actually, yes. Shouldn't we be trained by someone who actually knows what he's doing?" Now, I'm sure it's the boy from Erudite. One of the girls from Erudite, the only one that is standing next to him, agrees with him.

"Ethan, right? An advice for you: here we don't judge people by the time they're in here; we judge them by their bravery. But, if you feel like I'm not doing my job as I should, feel free to replace me anytime." That's enough to shut Ethan, but Four keeps on talking. "And you've been "learning" all your life, right? So here is my first lesson: keep your mouth shut, before it gets you into serious trouble."

Four turns around. Even though is calm, I can see that Ethan really pissed him off.

"I'm going to show you the Pit now. But feel free to leave if you want." Four says, as he starts to walk.

Pit? That doesn't sound any good to me. I look up to Emmett. He's not staring at me. His mouth is slightly open, as if he is shocked for what just happened, and for a moment I forget about the Pit. "Let's go, before we lose them." I say. He nods, and starts walking by my side.

Four opens a large door when we get to the end of the tunnel and we enter the place he called "Pit." Once I'm there I see that I was wrong. It's just a large room, with walls made of rock, and the ceiling is made of glass, so that the light can get in through it. It's busy and we can hear a lot of noise, what makes me think that this might be some sort of square, but only to the Dauntless faction.

"Now, the most interesting part – the chasm." Four says, as he keeps walking. Damn! I knew Pit couldn't be a good thing, and now I know why, it has a chasm on it! Four stops when he gets to an iron barrier. I can hear the sound of water down there, crashing the rocks, but I don't want to get close enough to see it.

"The chasm is here to remind us that there's a fine line between bravery and idiocy." He screams to make his self hear over the sound of the water. It reminds me of words from manifestos. I think I remember one phrase from the Dauntless manifesto. _We believe in simple acts of bravery, in the courage that leads one person to stand up for another. _I'm not sure if these are the exact words, but it's the same meaning. I smile. I made the right choice, because that's exactly what I did in my test. I stood up for Emmett.

I try to find is hand but all I catch is air, so I look to my right, and see that he's not there anymore. He, and the others, took Four's place near the iron barriers and are now looking to the chasm. I wish I could be by his side, but I can't, I still can't control my fear, as Max said.

"Afraid of heights?" I jump when I hear the voice so close to my ear. It's Four.

I start by pinching my lips, as I used to do, but then I answer, stepping away from him. "A little bit." He laughs, which annoys me, it's not my fault that I'm afraid of heights. "Maybe if it was Emmett you would step in the opposite direction." He provokes me, and I feel myself blush when I understand the meaning of his words. Now I prefer if he had make fun on my fear. I open my mouth to protest when I feel a burning touch in my back.

"You okay?" Emmett asks. I simply nod, but I'm still looking at Four, and he smiles, and I change from annoyed to furious. _Please don't say anything in front of Emmett, please. _"Great." He pauses while he evaluates the situation. "Hey, Four, didn't you say something about having dinner? I'm starving." I lift my eyebrows, surprised. When did Emmett become so talkative?

"Sure, let's go." Four turns around, and I can still see the smile on his face. This won't stay like this. Who does he think he is? Emmett casually takes my hand and follows Four, taking me with him. Did he notice that I just had an awkward moment with my instructor? I mean, what was that? Just a few minutes ago Four was all pissed off with Ethan, now he's telling jokes at my cost?

When we get to the dining room Four stops right in front of me, and I almost hit him. I mean I really hit him, when someone behind me hits me and Emmett and then I hit Four, like if we were domino pieces. Emmett pushes me back, but this mess already called attentions and I can see Owen waving at us from the other side of the room. I immediately smile, but then I feel Emmett's hand on mine and I remember that he has something against Owen so I don't really know what to do.

Four sees Owen too and starts walking towards his table, so I take Four as an excuse to join Owen and push Emmett with me. Four takes a look at the food before he sits. "Good, almost forgot that we always get burgers in the faction ceremony day!" While I sit between Four and Emmett, I think, _what does he mean by always? Didn't he just get here last year?_

"I can't believe my sister actually made me clean the tattoos store!" Owen claims.

"Well, Four taught us that we should keep our mouth shut sometimes, maybe you should try to do the same." Emmett says, casually, while he puts some ketchup in his burger, and then offers to put on mine. I use that moment to kick Four on his leg, pretending it was meant for Emmett, but he doesn't say anything, he just whispers to me: "If that's how you want to play, wait for tomorrow." I pinch my lips and I know I'll regret what I did.

"Maybe you'd like to present your friend to Is and Emmett." Four says while Lauren and a tam skinned girl approach to us.

"Oh, yeah, this is Maeve, she is my best friend." Owen's smile disappears. "And, of course, my sister." Lauren smiles. "How was Tori?" Owen murmurs something like "Not funny." But after a burger he forgets he was mad at her sister and starts talking with Maeve while Lauren talks to Four. I and Emmett just stay quiet, trying not to pay much attention to their conversations.

When Four ends eating his seventh burger, he decides it's time to take us to the dorm room, but not before Owen tells him. "Be careful. I passed through Eric and Max and they were talking about you. Whatever comes from Eric can't be good." Who's Eric? But Four doesn't say anything, he simple nods and walks toward the dining room's door. I make sure I keep my hand away from Emmett's hand while Four is looking, but once we pass the Pit, and everything goes dark again, I feel safe to grab it.

It's not a long walking until we get to the dorm, is more like a _dangerous_ walking. Four lets us in and I let go of Emmett before the light involves us. All we see is a simple room with ten beds – three bunks and four single beds arranged in two pairs – and a blackboard. We're sleeping all together. The fact that we're sleeping all together doesn't actually bother me, what bothers me is sleeping with Ethan and Lara – the girl that agreed with him. I also don't like one of the boys from Amity that joined them for dinner; I don't know his name yet.

"Before I leave, there are some things you need to know about out things work here." Four looks at Ethan while he speaks. "First of all, you have to be in the training room at eight o'clock every morning. The train last until six o'clock in the evening, but you have a break for lunch. You can do whatever you want after that, as long as you stay in the headquarters. You can't go out, unless a Dauntless member goes with you."

"What's the board for?" I ask. I know it's there for a reason.

"Ooh, the mute can speak." Says Ethan.

"Out! Now!" Four says. "Is made an important question, and you should respect her, but as you've shown you can't you stay out of the dorm while I explain them everything. If you don't break any rule, you're expulsed from the Dauntless." Ethan opens his eyes, more than normal. "But-" "No buts, out!"

Ethan throws me a glare before he leaves. "Close the door." Four says. We hear Ethan hitting with the door and the all becomes silent in the room.

"The board is there to point you classifications. You'll have classifications after all the three phases of the initiation. Together they will decide if you become or not a member of the Dauntless faction. Only ten of the initiates will do it." I freeze. I'm not going to make it. I noticed that he said initiates and not transfers. We're competing against the Dauntless-initiates that have been here since they were born. The other seem to take some time to understand that, but Emmett and I did it right the way, and I know he did because he asks Four: "And what happens if we don't stay in the top ten?" I don't need Four to say it, I already know the answer, but hearing it out loud makes it ten times worse. "You become faction less.

All is silent for a second, but then the Amity guy that was with Ethan and Lara. "But that isn't fair! If we make it through the initiation, we should become a member!" Four tries to remain calm, but I can see it messes with him too. "Unfortunately, things are changing." He pauses. "_We chose us, now we have to choose you." _Again, it's like something taken out of a manifesto. Four turns around and leaves, but we still hear him saying. "You can go in now, but I'm warning you: another joke and you better run."

I end up by choosing one of the single beds, and Emmett takes the one right next to mine. I refuse to change into a pajama's before the lights are off. So I just sit in my bed, and wait for the other to be asleep. The only ones that talk before the lights are off are Lara and Ethan, while she explains everything to him.

Emmett changes clothes to just wearing some shorts he found on a box under my bed. Apparently this two boxes were meant for boys, but as one of the others single beds it's not being used I went to get a pajama's for me in there. After he's done he sits on his bed, holds my hands and looks at them, softly passing his fingers through the lines in my palms or the veins in the back of my hand. We stay in there for about an hour, which is how long it takes for the others to turn off the lights and fall asleep. All I can think of all that time is questions and more questions I have to ask him. How did he know I wanted to change faction? Why did he choose Dauntless? What is his problem with Owen? Does he think we're safe here? Does he know I'm a Divergent? Better still, is he a Divergent too?

When I feel safe to change clothes, I make him turn around while I change into some black pants and a t-shirt. Then I lie, closer than I ever thought I would be to Emmett at this time of the day, but here I am.

"Did we make the right choice?" I whisper, concerned about what Four told us.

"We have to." He whispers me back. "There's no way back now."

"What if we don't get in the top ten?" What I want to say is what if _I_ don't get in the top ten, I'm sure he will, but that's what I end up asking.

He lifts his head, and leans on his elbow. I see his hand moving toward me, and then he softly cares me in my cheek. I figure Kate must have been really lucky by having Emmett to take care of her like this, and I feel bad by stealing him from her. "We'll find a way." I know is trying to comfort me, but instead he only leaves more doubts. To what? To stay here, or to survive faction less? I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid of his answer, so I let him care me until I fall asleep, and right before I do it I remember Four's words. "Just wait for tomorrow."

**A/N: Okay, I know I'm a nobody and all the rest, but I would really appreciate reviews, so I'm really thankful for the few who sent me reviews so far. **


	6. Chapter Six - Things Are Changing

**A/N: Okay, so I was asked if I was going to include Tris at some point, and I'm not sure yet. I mean do you want me to? And, hmm, you have to take in consideration that this is happening a year before Tris becomes a Dauntless, so it would take a long time until she shows in my story, if I decided to do it. So, I guess half of my decision is up to you, do you want her? **

**Chapter Six – Things are changing**

The good girl from Erudite –Liz – had to wake me and Emmett at seven-fifty so that we wouldn't be late for the training. We basically had to get dressed as fast as we could – I felt really bad changing clothes with Emmett right next to me, but he didn't even look at my face when we woke up, so I just changed - and then run to the training room. My stomach hurts when I push the door and the clock strikes eight o'clock. If I had only eaten something…

"I was wondering if you two had quit before we even start to train." Four says as we look around to catch up with the rest of the transfers. Everyone is waiting for him to give them something.

"No, we didn't." I say, as Emmett doesn't say a thing. I hope he's not trying to hide behind me as he used to do with Kate, because I'm not going to let him do that. I'm the mute here.

"Then don't be late again." I have to pinch my lips to force myself to stay quiet. We weren't late; he's not playing fair. "As I was about to say…" He turns around and opens a box. "…the first thing you're going to learn is how to use fire weapons. The second is how to win a battle, but we'll get there." He starts to give us the guns and I make a disgusted face when he lends me mine. I never used one, and I had no intention to do it, ever, but I guess whatever I have ever planned before is now to be forgotten, as we can't predict the Dauntless.

"As I said yesterday, there are three phases in the initiation. This one prepares you physically, the second one, emotionally, and the third one, mentally. So be ready, if you think the first one is hard, the others will be worse, and consequently, will have a bigger value on your classification." No one speaks, and I'm starting to think that Ethan is getting afraid of Four. Personally Four doesn't scare me, but I know I have to be careful around him from now on. He told me to wait for today, so if I cross the risk, he'll answer ten times worse. "Pay attention now. This phase might be the one that counts less, but without this one, you won't survive in here." Four turns to the targets and shoots. He did it so fast my ears hurt with the sound. Everyone looks at the target and I'm surprised to see that his shot passed right through the center of the smallest circle – the hardest to achieve.

Four smiles, happy with his shot. "Your turn now." He says. Typical, we watch, we do. No preparation. Everyone turns to their targets but me; instead, I turn to Emmett, so I can watch someone shooting before I do it. He's still not looking at me, what happened? His muscles are contracted as he wields his weapon – he doesn't like the idea of caring a gun, I can see that. He points to the target, but I never get to watch him shooting.

"Never thought you were so sadistic. This is how you end every relationship?" Again, I jump with the sound of Four's voice – I really should start to get used to it. His words cause me to chill – if there's something I could never deal with is to see Emmett's body, pale and lying down on the ground, to never stand up again. He laughs and then places his hands on my shoulders to make me turn to my own target. That's when Emmett shoots, and I can't avoid looking at his target. He missed the red circles, but his bulled hit the plywood squared in its edge. It was a good first shot.

"It's a _friend-_ship." I say, still feeling the chills, before I turn to my target and wield my gun. I open my legs at shoulder width apart and point to the target. I know Four is still behind me, even if his hands let me go some time ago, I can still feel them on my shoulders. It's hard for me to stop my hands from trembling due to the gun's weight, and even harder to keep it away from my body. I hesitate on pressing the trigger softly, but when I do it, nothing happens. I'm prepared to do it strongly when the door opens. I let my arms go down and turn to the, as everyone else.

A guy with long black hair and covered in tattoos comes in. I look at Four. He's tense, as I've never seen him before.

"You're not supposed to be here." Four says.

"I'm guessing this is Eric." I feel a warmth breath in my ear and I know Emmett is standing right behind me. I nod, agreeing with him.

Eric doesn't come in the room. He lifts his arms over his head. "I didn't come to shoot anyone. I'm just checking if everything is okay." Four doesn't trust him, and neither do I. Coming from Candor made it easy for me to see when someone is lying. "Well, it is. You can go now." Four says, defeating him. Eric turns around, which seems very strange to me, it's not what I expected him to do. Actually I could swear he was about to jump over Four.

"You better be careful, Four. Things are changing." Eric hits with the door before he leaves us.

"Well, Four is in a real bad mood. What did you do?" Owen is sitting by my side as Maeve sits in from of me. Emmett that was listening to Lucas – the boy from Amity that I saw nearly crying on the train – and Liz talking about their factions, turns to me when Owen and Maeve join us. I look at Four sitting alone in a table, and with no food in front of him.

Before we came to the dining room, I said that I needed to go to the bathroom, so I took Liz with me and she told me that the girl who didn't jump was Lucas girlfriend. I feel sorry for him when she tells me that, but I feel more sorry for me when I look at myself in the mirror. I barely recognize my body when I first look at it. It's covered in dark blue, purple and different tones of red. I only know it's me because even though Liz is brunette, my eyes are brown and hers are green. Now I know why Emmett didn't want to look at me, I could pass by a zombie. I catch my hair in the back of my head, leaving the curls to hit me in the back.

"Eric." I say. Owen opens his eyes more than usual and Maeve looks at the floor, as if she was guilty of something. I shake my head saying that I'm wrong about this last thought before I explain everything to Owen.

"So you're saying that he just went there for five minutes and then left?" I nod. "He's up to something. And we have to find out what!"

"We're not going to do anything, Owen." Maeve interferes. "We can't get in trouble during initiation." Owen sighs. "C'mon, we can't just leave it like this. Do you want Four to leave? You know that deep down, Eric is still an Erudite."

"Wait, what?!" I feel my mouth moving, but the sound didn't come from me, it was Emmett who asked.

"Eric came last year. He was a transfer from the Erudite faction. Everybody knows he's jealous of Four because he stayed right behind him in the classifications."

"What- What was Four's place?" I ask, while I take another look at Four's table. He hasn't move.

"First." Maeve answers. I didn't notice we were all whisper until the four of us shut up and the only voices we hear next to us is Liz and Lucas still discussing about their factions.

After lunch Four takes us to another training room, where I guess the Dauntless-initiates spent their morning. It's a big room, with wooden floor and with a big circle painted on the center of it. In the back of the room are hung black punching bags, behind which Four positions us – one for each, leaving three without being used. Right next to punching bags, there's a black board with two sides. I can't see what was written in the first side because Four is turning it around. Now I can see our names organized by alphabetical order, which is the same way Four organized us, leaving me between Lara and Ethan. The name of the boy that join Ethan and Lara, forming the fantastic trio, is Andrew. I try not to look at any of them, but I know Ethan is looking at me, probably with pleasure as my body looks like it's been hit by two buses, one right after the other.

Again, Four shows us how to do, exemplifying some punches, and I thank god he can't do it as fast as he shot this time. It took me about three shots to at least hit the biggest red circle, and I don't even know in which direction I shot my first bullet, as far as I know it could've killed any of us. Emmett, on his turn hit the second circle on his second shot, and after the third bullet he never missed the center of the target. I think that being tall and strong might be an advantage in here.

After Four makes his demonstration I turn to my punching bag and stare at it. _If you had hands, you would've have put me KO already, _I think to my punching bag.I close my eyes and visualize Four all over again. I try to copy his posture, which takes me a couple minutes and then give my first punch. My hand burns with pain and I feel like I might have broke some bone. The damn bag didn't even move.

"What's up, Is? Is the bag to _height _for you?" I turn to Ethan and he's laughing. Is it possible that he knows? He knows I'm afraid of heights? "Maybe you should ask to low it." Lara laughs at her own joke. Those two are good for each other. They should both be death. I go back to Isabelle, and pinch my lips, but it takes me more than that effort to turn around to my punching bag again and to ignore them. I keep on trying to make the bag move but I can't even reach the center of the punching bag, and I think that might be the reason. Everyone else has at least moved their bags, and they keep on improving their skills.

"You're doing it wrong." Four explains as he holds my bag. He's been passing through all of us to give some posture advices but he only stops when he gets to me. Apparently he decided that I should be the last one. "I'm trying." I say. "No you're not. You're to focus on putting strength on your punch, instead of focusing in your target. Try to use your elbows." "My elbows, how do you expect me to punch with my elbows?" He lets go of the punching bag, and stands in front of me. "Try to punch me." He says. I shake my head. "I'm not going to punch you with no reason." By this time, everybody stopped punching their bags and is staring at us. "Fine, I'll punch you." By the corner of my eye I see movement in my left, but it's too late, Four is already driving is head to my face, so I act by instinct, I low myself down, and raise my elbow, ending up by hitting Four in his stomach.

I hurt him; I know it because he places his hand on his shoulder before he stands up again. But he doesn't say anything, just like yesterday, but this time, I didn't do it on purpose, and to compensate, I feel guilty now. "That's how you use your elbow." He says. "Now everyone go back to work unless you want to stay here after six." He keeps with his round but I don't move a muscle. I still can't believe what I just did. I've never gotten into a fight before. People usually pretend I don't exist.

Emmett disobeys Four's orders too by coming to me. "How does he dare to-?" "Emmett! He is our instructor, it's his job. I'm fine, nothing happened to me." "But it could've!" I go back to my punching bag, leaving Emmett there, so he does the same thing. I keep on trying to use my elbows, but it's harder when your target it's not coming in you direction, so Four tells me to try to use my knees too, but I can't reach the punching bag with them.

In my head, I keep on seeing Four coming to punch me, and me acting without thinking, and I'm still thinking about it when I catch up with Owen and Maeve at the Pit. Owen tells us that he has to go clean the tattoo's store and invites us to come with him. Liz and Lucas say that they are exhausted and that they meet us at dinner, but I have the feeling that Owen didn't want them to come anyway. Actually, I'm not even sure if he wants Emmett to come, but I'm not going anywhere without him.

Owen ends up by taking his shirt off to show us his tattoos. There's not a place in his arms or his back that isn't covered on ink, but he left is chest intact. "I want to save it for something special." He says as we get to the tattoo store and he puts his shirt back on. "See you in an hour."

"C'mon let's see if Tori is here, maybe you guys could get a tattoo." Maeve pushes us into the store. I immediately fall in love with this place when I get inside it. It's so different from the rest of the headquarters. It's full of light and paintings on the wall.

"Hey, you're here to help Owen?" A woman asks. I figure it must be Tori. "No. We're here because I want a tattoo." I say, as I smile. Emmett lifts his eyebrows with my change of mood, but I just had an idea. Since the faction ceremony I've been proving that I'm Dauntless. I cut my hand, I jumped from a height of seven floors, and today I used a gun and hit my instructor that is two times bigger than me.

"And what would you like to have tattooed?" She asks, already taking her material out.

I've proved that I belong to the Dauntless faction, there are still more three factions that I still to prove that I belong to, but for now, I'm Is, the Dauntless mute that is at least trying to face her fears. "I want the Dauntless symbol on my right wrist." I say, as I promise myself I'll have the other symbols in my wrists by the end of the initiation, and by doing so, I'm also saying that I'll make it to the top ten, no matter how it costs.

**A/N: Okay, I'm so sorry if this looks like a bad copy of the original text from V. Roth. There wasn't much I could do about this chapter. Feel free to tell me it sucks because maybe I need to hear it. Thanks, reviews or answers for the question on the top would be great. Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter Seven - KO

**A/N: Okay, little correction of the last chapter. I noticed that there was a part that didn't make much sense (sorry, I wrote it like at 3am). And so here it is: **_**""Fine, I'll punch you." By the corner of my eye I see movement in my left, but it's too late, Four is already driving his **__**hand**__** to my face, so I act by instinct, I low myself down, and raise my elbow, ending up by hitting Four in his stomach.**_

_**I hurt him; I know did because he places his hand on his **__**stomach **__**before he stands up again. But he doesn't say anything, just like yesterday, but this time, I didn't do it on purpose, and to compensate, I feel what I didn't feel yesterday, guilty. "That's how you use your elbow." He says."**_

**Chapter Seven – KO**

When I wake up my hand is on Emmett's bed, almost touching his hand. I take it out of his bed right the way and jump out of my bed, feeling a strange fire inside me. I don't remember much of what happened yesterday after I came out of the tattoos store. Tori gave me painkillers because I barely could move, and consequently they made me feel sleepy. I shake my head focusing on the present, I mean, if something had happened yesterday I would remember right? I shake my head – there's no "something" to remember, and it'll never be.

I take a look at the box underneath my bed – which is now a female's box, because I left the male's box in the bed next to Liz's bed, replacing it by the one that was there. There's not much inside it, I haven't had the time to go to the clothes' store yet. Here, on Dauntless headquarters, we have points, and we buy things using these points. The tattoo yesterday cost me two points, but clothes only cost one, well, depending on how much clothes you buy.

I take out a black top and a pair of black elastic cotton skinny jeans, and then I leave to the girls' bathroom. I'm literally surprised when I find Maeve there. She looks tired like she hasn't slept much – if she slept at all - and I remember the guilty look I saw on her face yesterday. Is it possible that she's involved with Eric? A chill passes through me. The simple thought of it makes me want to throw up. I wouldn't kiss Eric ever, not even if I was given money to do it. Although my suspicions, I don't say a word.

"Awake already?" She asks, with a smile. "Thought transfers liked to sleep until the last minute." She rolls her eyes. _Please, God, tell me she's not involved with Eric, please._

"You're the one that seems to need a good sleep." I say. She laughs. "Look who's talking… you need one, but in a hospital bed!" She leaves the bathroom, still laughing. All my muscles burn, especially my arms, as if it hadn't been enough to put my whole weight on them when I was hanging on the ledge, the following day I had to shot guns and punch bags. No matter who I'll have to fight with today, I know I already lost.

I open the sink of the shower in cold water, trying to release the pain in my body, but it isn't worth it, maybe I should stop by at the tattoos store and ask for more painkillers at lunch time. As I get my shower I keep on thinking about Maeve and Eric, and decide that from now on I'll pay more attention to her.

When I'm done with the shower – which I have to admit took longer than usual – I dress up as fast as I can, and check my tattoo before I get out of the bathroom, and go grab something for breakfast – Four said we would meet him at the shooting room and practice there in the morning. I lift the corner of the bandage in my wrist. It's still healing, but Tori said it will take a few days to heal, so I don't worry. It's supposed to hurt, but with all the pain I already feel in my arms, I can't feel the pain caused by the tattoo.

Emmett is waiting outside the bathroom with two apples on his hand. "You scared me." He says, sounding upset; I can't see his face in the dark. "I thought you left during the night." He lends me one of the apples and I start eating it, as we slowly walk towards the shooting room. For about fifteen minutes I eat my apple in silence, without daring to look at him.

"Sorry." I finally say, as I throw out the rest of the apple I can't eat, in the garbage can. "I-" I was going to say that I didn't want to wake him up, but that's not what happened. I actually still don't know what happened this morning, when I almost run from the dorm.

He stops when we get to the training room, I'm guessing Four is already inside as there's shooting noise coming from there, and it's not eight in the morning yet. I look at my feet, refusing to look at his face. I see his hand coming in my direction and I tense up. He puts it under my chin and softly presses it so that I look up to him. He takes his hand and puts it in his pocket as soon as my eyes meet his. I feel a smile in my lips, a smile that I did not invoke, and I don't know why it's there.

He doesn't smile back. His eyes are red, probably from the lack of sleep. "Just don't do it again, okay? Wake me up." He says. I nod, unable to do anything else. We hear steps at the end of the hall so we enter the training room. Four is not the only one there; Lucas has arrived already and is shooting.

"Pick a gun. You know what to do." Says Four, without even looking at us. He's shooting too, today. Both Emmett and me are picking guns from the table and loading them when the others come in. He throws me a glance before heading to his target. I head towards mine too, but I just stand there looking at it, feeling too weak to shoot.

A bullet hits the bull's-eye of my target. My mouth opens, because I'm pretty sure it wasn't me and, when I'm no longer stupefied by what just happened, I turn to the left and watch Emmett, with his back turned to me, replacing his target for a new one and loading his gun again. This was him reminding me he doesn't want me to leave, and then I remember the promise I made myself yesterday at the tattoos store.

I force myself to wield my weapon and shoot.

After the shooting train I barely ate at lunch. I completely sucked this morning and I'm getting really nervous because we're going to fight in a few minutes. Owen and Maeve left us with a rushed "It'll be fine. Just make sure you give some punches too. Good luck."

I go inside the training room, where we trained with the punching bags and sit with the others in a long wooden bench. I look at the blackboard where our names were written yesterday, but it's still turned to the Dauntless-born initiates side, but even this way I can see that they're no longer in an alphabetical order, they're in pairs. Which means Four has already chose who we're going to fight with.

I look for Emmett's hand and squeeze it to call his attention to the blackboard. He reads it in a matter of seconds and then squeezes my hand back. _We'll deal with it -_ It's what he's telling me. I take my hand out of his so that I can turn it into a fist. It helps me when I'm nervous. Four walks inside the room and closes the door.

"Good, you're all here." He starts. "As I said, you're going to fight with each others today, but as you're odd number one of you won't fight. Every day it'll be a different person." Everyday? Oh, no!

Four walks toward the blackboard and turns it around, so that we can see who we are fighting with. I start reading the first two names which are Liz and Andrew when I feel Emmett's arm around me – in some sort of protective gesture - making pressure on my waist – which means he's nervous, or angry. I can't decide as I've never seen an "angry Emmett." It hurts me, but I don't complain before I know what's going on, so I look at him. He has his lips pressed together, forming a thin line, though he is not looking at me – his eyes are still focused on the blackboard.

I follow his eyes, searching for his name. It's right on the bottom and there's no name in front of his name. I don't get it. He won't have to fight, so why is he tensed up? I give him a glare. He hasn't moved – still staring at the blackboard, and his lips are starting to turn white with all the pressure he's making. "Emmett-?" I whisper. He makes more pressure with his hand on my waist, pulling me closer to him, so I'm almost sitting on his lap. "I'll ask Four to-… I'll replace you. Whatever. You're not going to fight with him." He cares me in my right arm.

I, instead, freeze. Emmett's reaction distracted me and I didn't even bother looking at my name, forgetting that if Emmett's not fighting, I am. I search for it, and there it is, second fight, me and Ethan. I take a dry swallow and force myself to say something, but I need to open my mouth several times before I can say something.

"No, you're not. It's okay, Emmett. I was counting on loosing anyway." _Plus, I'm already hurt, you're not. _I think, but I don't say it out loud, it would only make him feel worse. Emmet might be smarter and stronger than Ethan, but Ethan has been into fights before, and Emmett never got into one at school, so it's better this way.

"Emmett, help me with a small demonstration of the rules?" Says Four. I've only noticed now that he avoids looking in our direction, what is that supposed to mean? That's he's sorry for making me fight with Ethan. Emmett gives him a death look and slowly takes his arm around me. Lucas and Liz sit by my side, Liz taking Emmett's place.

"Did you notice that in all the fight's it's a boy against a girl?" Liz says. "That doesn't seem like something Four would do." I take another look at the blackboard - which I was trying to avoid - but she's right. Liz fights with Andrew, Lucas with Lara and I fight with Ethan. A boy against a girl, in every fight. It's not something I would expect from Four. Maybe that's he's revenge, making me fight with Ethan, but what about the others?

We observe Four and Emmett doing a quick demonstration of the rules. If one gets on the ground and can't get up, the fight is over. If you pass the lines, the fight is over. It's actually pretty easy. Liz gets up leaving the place empty for Emmett, who takes his place again, putting his arm around me and pulling me closer to him. It's good. His burning touch makes the pain disappear.

The fight between Liz and Andrew takes longer than I thought it would. Obviously Andrew is stronger than Liz, but she's smart and Andrew hesitates before every move – Amity is still inside him, and showing it is going to make him loose points in his classification. Four didn't need to say that, it's something we know we have to leave behind if we decide to change faction.

Finally Liz looses, but it was a good fight anyway, Four will sure give her a good punctuation. I try to stand up, but Emmett's arm is still around me, and I didn't notice it, but he kept on putting more and more pressure in my waist as the time passed. "I can still do it." He says. "Replace you." I touch his fingers, so that he'll know I want him to take his hand out of my waist. After a few seconds, he lets me go, turning his hands into a finch, just as I do. "You won't have to watch it for long." I say, as I get away from him. I don't want to hear an answer.

Ethan was already waiting for me as Four was writing the results of the last match in the blackboard. I look him in the eyes, but I don't say a word. "Remember the rules." For says as he approaches to us. "This is not a fight until one of you dies." He's still avoiding me, so he only looks at Ethan while he talks. "We got it. Now let's see if the mute can scream."

Ethan doesn't wait for Four to step out of the way, he starts running towards me, ready to punch me. I remember yesterday, when Four came to me and I lift my elbow, and I think about doing it now, but first, the pain is back, and all my body seems to be too heavy, and second, I don't want to feel guilty again, though I'm not sure I would, as we're talking about Ethan.

It only takes him a few punches in my stomach and a kick in my legs to put me on the floor, then he punches me on the head and I pass out. The last thing I remember is to see Emmett's face turn down and a bit to the right before Ethan's punch hit me.

I'm in the Dauntless hospital when I wake up. I feel a familiar sweet smell in my nose, but I don't know where does it come from, maybe it's from someone who just left. And then I remember the last time I noticed this smell. It was on the choosing ceremony day, when Emmett pull me to the train and I almost hit is chest. Things changed so much since then. Even in that day, things changed. That was the first time he showed he cared about me, when he said he would be waiting for me, and when I felt his burning touch, when he placed his arm around my waist. Now it's something I'm used to. I'm starting to think that if I did the faction test again, Amity might have been a result too, as I'm starting to need physical contact.

There are curtains around my bed, but I can hear voices coming from outside the curtains. I try to hear what they're saying, but someone opens the curtains and Owen and Maeve come in.

"Four told us what happened." Owen says. "Emmett is really pissed off."

"Where is he?" I ask, as if it was his duty to be here with me. But that's not true, he doesn't owe me anything, I nothing but a neighbor for him. I feel the same pain in my chest I felt in the ceremony day, when I thought Emmett would choose Erudite and I would never see him again. I'm still thinking he would've, he never told me what he chose Dauntless.

Nobody speaks, so I can finally hear the conversation outside. "I'm sorry, okay?! But what did you expect me to do, Eric-". It's Four. I'm looking at Owen and Maeve as I listen to Four's words. Panic passes through Maeve's expression when Four pronounces Eric's name. There's definitely something going on between Eric and Maeve, but why would she panic? "I don't care if he told you he wanted to choose. You should've done something! I thought we meant something to you! I thought she meant something to you. She admires you, you know? That's why she feels she can do anything when the rest of us could pee in our pants every time we see you." It was Emmett who interrupted Four. He sure is pissed off; I've never heard him speaking like this to anyone.

"So are you feeling better?" Owen asks, trying to make me stop listening to their conversation. "Yeah. They probably gave me some painkillers." I say, trying to keep listening to Four and Emmett, but Owen and Maeve launch into a detailed description of their afternoon in the shooting room, preventing me from listening to them. About half an hour later when Maeve and Owen are comfortably sitting on my bed and fighting about which one of them hit the center of the target more times, Emmett and Four come in.

"How are you?" Four asks.

"Mostly bored." I say. "These two seem to have trouble counting."

Emmett rolls his eyes, but everyone else laughs at my bad joke. At least Emmett doesn't look upset, which means Four managed to calm him down. Whatever he said to him, it worked; because even though he tightened his lips when he looked at me, he looks satisfied with something. "It's time for dinner. You two move your asses." Owen and Maeve don't wait for Four to say it again, and stand up. "Heal fast." Owen says, giving one last glance at Emmett before they leave.

"Do you want me to bring you something?" Four asks. "No. I want to eat in the dining room. Can you take me out of here?" It's not entirely true, but I don't want to give Ethan the pleasure to think that I spent a night in the hospital because of him. "Sure. Meet you there then." Something I'm not sure I like about the Dauntless is that they don't really care about your health unless you're nearly dying. That's when they do their magic.

Once Four leaves me and Emmett alone, he sits in the bed, by my side, and puts my hair behind my ear. "You look horrible." He says. I sigh. "When we're finally out if Candor, you decide to start telling the truth?" He doesn't laugh, but he smiles. "Sometimes I think you need to hear it, as apparently you haven't realized it by yourself yet." "Oh, no, I realized that I look horrible already, but that's just my normal look." I say, trying to divert the attentions from what happened today.

"Yeah, _right._" He says. I don't understand what he means with that.

"So was it truth what you said? Do you want to pee in your pants every time you see Four?" I giggle. I don't know what's with these painkillers, but I better be careful when I take them again. "I think we should go get dinner." Emmett says, standing up and helping me get up. "I can do it. But you haven't answered me." I try to walk but my legs hurts. He sighs and puts his arm around my waist, supporting all my weight as we walk. "Well not all of us are fearless enough at the point to kick Four under the table." I laugh as we enter in the dorm. I don't know how he knew it, but I really wasn't feeling like meeting Ethan in the dining room.

"I'll be back in a few minutes with food. You'll be fine without me?" He asks as he lets me "fall" in his bed, which is the closest to the door. "Sure." He leaves and comes back about ten minutes later with Liz and Lucas. Both Lucas and Emmett carry each a tray on their hands. Lucas gives me mine and goes to his bed. Liz stays next to his bed as they talk. Both me and Emmett stay quiet as we eat. After that Emmett goes back to the dining room to return the trays. I lie down in his bed and when he comes back I'm almost asleep.

"I'll take your bed." He says. I try to stand up. "No… I'll… I can go there." He laughs and makes me lie down again. "What if I lie down by your side?" He whispers. I smile and try to give him space. He sits and pulls me to his lap, then lies down too, so I have my hand comfortably leaning between his shoulder and his jaw line. "If that's your definition of "by your side"… " I don't need to say more, I feel his chest moving as he laughs. "Just sleep, Is." I don't wait for him to tell me again. I close my eyes and feel his finger in my back up and down, and later – right before I fall asleep – he pulls my chin up and kisses me in the forehead.

**A/N: Okay, school started today for me, but I managed to finish this chapter. Now it's time for you to give me some reviews and a reason to keep on working in this even with school, unless you don't want it, of course. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it so far, and I remind everyone that I do not own every character or everything about this plot, as it's based on Veronica Roth's books. **


	8. Chapter Eight - Double Revenge

**Chapter Eight – Double Revenge**

Ethan makes sure to wake me up, and consequently, Emmett, in the next morning. "Hey, do you want to know what game I invented for our initiation? You know, just to have a little fun while we're here. It's called "let the mute scream", so the first one to make you scream, wins." He laughs, but none of his friends join him. Lara lost with Lucas and Andrew knows he didn't do well as he could've, seeing that he hesitated before every attack. Ethan gives them a furious glance and exits the room, but not before Emmett shouts. "If I were you, I would focus on the combats!"

Just then I remember I'm still in the same bed as he is. I look at him and raise my eyebrows, asking for an explanation of what he just said. But he doesn't give me any. "Good morning!" He says with a smile, pretending to have just woken up. He looks way too happy. "Is it too bad if I get a tattoo of Ethan's dead body?" He asks. I laugh, but he's worrying me. I'm afraid that what he saw yesterday might have somehow changed him; or simply living in here. Emmett is not like this, he's not vengeful.

I get up and pull him with me, but he gets too close so I let my hand go of his. He reacts immediately and puts his hand around my waist, pulling me closer – in a protective gesture, just like he did yesterday. I look around. Everyone but Ethan is still in the dorm, though they're already dressed up, so my guess is that we're getting late for the morning training. Luckily we're already dressed with our clothes from yesterday. My face burns and I know I'm blushing – Emmett's persistence on wanting to replace me yesterday is coming to my mind, and now it seems different, like he didn't just want to replace me because I'm a girl.

I try to get these thoughts out of my head. Of course he did it because I'm a girl, and because I'm weak and he knows it. "I think we should go get breakfast; and fast!" I say, not looking into his eyes. He evaluates my face for a while and then let go of me. "I'm not hungry." He says. I look up – the smile is gone.

Until now I was thinking of stepping backward, away from his arm so he wouldn't manage to put it around my waist again, but now I move forward and take his hand. "Let's go to the training room now, then." I pull him out of the room, feeling four pairs of eyes in my back. This is not the "Abnegation" mute they know – this is not even how _Isabelle _would act.

According to Four, this was our last day of shooting with guns. Again, I think I might have been only one of the few to understand the double meaning of his words. Just because we're not using guns, doesn't mean we're not using other type of weapon. I wonder what it is.

"Can't wait for tonight! _Thank god_ they made it sooner this year! I mean, why do they only do this _once_ a year?" Owen seems excited today. "I know! I just hope we get in the same team this year, I mean, it's our initiation year!" Maeve almost screams as we pick a table and sit down. "Yeah, too bad we lost last year. But this time it'll be at night! It's going to be even better! Hope you're not afraid of the dark, are you Is?" Owen turns to me, failing on his try to avoid looking at how close Emmett and I are on our side of the table. Our elbows touch in every move, and I feel my arm burning, if not my whole body.

"Dark?" I laugh by the simple thought of it; I and the dark are best friends since I got here. "No, I'm not. But what are you guys talking about? What happens tonight?" I ask, not being able to catch up with them. Maeve laughs. "Don't tell them! Make it a surprise. I want to see their faces!" I turn to Emmett, who hasn't said a word. "Can you believe this?! And they call themselves our friends!" He laughs. "You know, I'm still wondering why Ethan calls you a _mute_. It just doesn't make sense in my head. I mean, while we were at the Candor, it made sense, but now, the only time I've seen you quiet is when you're a sleep." I blush and feel that pain in my chest again. I low my head so that he won't see me. What exactly is he saying? That he preferred it before?

Owen looks at him, suspicious. "Who told you?" He asks. I look up to Emmett again. Who told him what? "Four." Emmett says, showing Maeve his tongue. "Damn! I'm going to kill him! He just ruined the best part!" Oh! They're talking about whatever happens tonight. "Wait… why didn't you tell me, then?" I ask. Emmett smiles again, but doesn't give me an answer, instead he shrugs. I stand up and take my tray to leave; I don't want to be in their secret society if I'm the only one who doesn't know what's going on. God, I miss Kate now, at least she didn't keep secrets from me.

I'm already in the dark hall that connects the dining room to the Pit when I hear running steps behind me, but I don't turn around, though I feel tempted to. I recognize the rhythm of his steps – it's Emmett. Unexpectedly I feel his arms around my waist and his hands on my stomach pulling me back to his chest. I freeze and feel is warm breath on my neck. _What's going on with him? _ His breath moves from my neck to my ear. "It's supposed to be a surprise. You'll see tonight." He softly kisses me in the neck.

I take his hands off me and turn around to face him. My heart skips a beat – he's too close. I take a measured step backward – I remember what happened this morning. I hurt his feelings by showing him I feel… on fire, when he's too close.

"Yeah?! And what was that mute thing all about?!" I was trying to use a disinterested tone of voice, but I end up shouting. He stops smiling. "I was joking! C'mon you won't tell me you got mad at me?" He steps forward to reach me, but I step backward, feeling the tears in my eyes. I'm not a girl to cry and I don't want him to see me like this, so I run into the dark, leaving him shouting my name behind me.

Not two minutes after I started running, I bump into someone - a boy. I look up. Great! It's Four. "Is?" He asks.

Being childish, I look down and shake my head. He laughs, but not for long, just enough to show that I'm being stupid. He puts his arm around my shoulders and drives me to training room – the big one, with the punching bags. I almost forgot I still have training until six o'clock. He makes me sit in the wooden bench and then sits by my side.

"Is, c'mon, look at me." I shake my head again. I feel like my chest is going to break into pieces and my hands tremble, not to mention the rivers that flow from my eyes. I don't remember when the last time I cried was. "Is!" I strain to look to his face, but I refuse to look into his dark blue eyes, ending up by deciding to look to his mouth. A lot of people do that, they look to where the sound comes from. "What is this about? Is it because of what happened yesterday?" I shake my head. "Okay. Then… This sounds stupid to ask _you, _but is it because of the pain? You'll have to deal with it here on Dauntless, we're always injuring ourselves." I hesitate before I shake my head again. It's about the pain, but not the pain he's talking about. It's a pain I don't know and a pain that I'm afraid of. But I'm a know-it-all like Ethan after all, right? That's what my test said, and even though I can't think about other thing when I feel this pain, I noticed that it has only showed up when Emmett is around. He's causing this pain, and that hurts me even more, as I can't just stop seeing him – being with him.

Four stares at me for while, and then it's like something lights up in his mind, in fact, the same thing that just lighted up on mine. "It's Emmett, isn't it?" I look down, and I regret it, as it automatically confirms his suspicions.

"Look, maybe he's still a little pissed off about what happened yesterday, and I have an apology to say to you, I should've stopped Eric from choosing who was fighting who, but we all need to be careful with him, he's good friends with Max. But as I was saying, Emmett will go back to normal okay? He'll be your Emmett again." I freeze, my Emmett? He means, my _friend_ Emmett right? It's just how people say it in Dauntless. Even though Four made some jokes about me dating Emmett, that's what they were, jokes. He wouldn't say them now. "I know he might act a little violently now, but it's a hard change for all of you, and this is being particularly hard for him. Give him-"

"Wait, violently?! What the hell are you talking about?" Violent would be the last word I would use to describe Emmett now. "Yes. That's not what _you're _talking about?" I hesitate and decide I can trust Four. Emmett's words cross my thoughts that brief second before I start talking _– "I thought she meant something to you. She admires you, you know? That's why she feels she can do anything when the rest of us could pee in our pants every time we see you." _He's right, I do admire Four, for his persistence that we should all learn how to be Dauntless even if we don't stay in this faction.

"No…" I start. Then I tell him what's been going on with Emmett. How he was before, how he became when we came here – all protective and he definitely has something against Owen (Four laughs at this part, and when I ask him why he says "He's jealous." I strain not to think about it, but I feel like a strange fire, more like _the _strange fire I feel when I'm with Emmett and when his touch warms me and fights the pain. Then I tell myself he's only jealous because he's my best friend, and he's not used that I – we – have other friends.) – and at last I tell him what happened yesterday and today. I tell him how he was all pissed off at the training room - at this training room - and then how all of sudden he looks extremely happy.

"Oh shit!" Four says. "The painkillers I gave him yesterday. He was supposed to take them yesterday, but he might have taken them today instead, and so we're able to see the effects. They must be too strong for him because I didn't bother to check his condition, I just gave him mine." "Painkillers? What did he need them for? He didn't fight." Four's expression turns to a guilty look. I look at him back, suspicious, and by doing so, I notice that the tears have dried and I'm not crying anymore. "After he took you to the hospital, he went to look for me and he tried to punch me, and obviously I defended myself… well, maybe with too much strength."

"You hit him?!" He raises his eyebrows. "Two seconds ago you were crying because he told you, you can't shut up, now you're complaining because I hit him?" "He was like that because of you! Because of the painkillers!" I don't want to admit it, but I feel so relieved now that I know it wasn't Emmett. Maybe he really likes me back. Maybe not just as a neighbor, or a friend.

The door opens behind me and the other transfers enter the room. Emmett has to rush in after everybody - he was obviously far from here. Maybe he was still in the dark hall I left him. His face changed so much since then, and it all happened like fifteen minutes ago. His eyes are red, his fists are clenched and the biggest difference is the smile, the smile he had all morning is gone. I took away that smile – again. The red eyes didn't mean what I thought they meant, he was not sleepy yesterday - he had been crying!

I wait for him to sit by my side and apologize for my reaction, but he doesn't. I feel anger for myself, I should've known that something was wrong, that wasn't _my_ Emmett. Instead, he sits on the opposite side of the bench, as far from me as he can. I pinch my lips. Four stands up as everyone – well, everyone but Emmett - is looking at both of us, sitting side by side, maybe too close for a girl and her instructor, but not close enough to tell we're close friends, as it's what Four just became to me. Or maybe he was already.

Four turns the black board and I don't even need to look at my name to know I won't fight today – I bet that's what he promised Emmett – so I look at Emmett's name. My heart literally stops when I see the name in front of his: Ethan. That's why he looked so satisfied, he got his payback. And that's what he was talking about this morning. I clench my fists and put my arms around my legs. They're having the first fight.

Ethan doesn't look so happy now as he walks towards the center of the room. He obviously remembers Emmett's words as well as I do. Emmett gets up to, ready for the fight. "Let's see if the know-it-all can scream." He says, as Four lets the combat begin.

I have to hold the bench to stop myself from jumping and step between Ethan and Emmett. As far as I can see Ethan is winning, but Emmett attacked successfully more times, and he runs really fast. Ethan manages to punch Emmett in his mouth, making him bleed. I feel my hands hurt with all the strength I'm putting in them. _Please, let the fight be over soon, let the fight be over soon._ Emmett doesn't bother cleaning the blood out of his face. A weird roar comes out of his mouth as he jumps over Ethan and punches him hard in the stomach. Ethan steps backward – Emmett got it right this time. _ Just stop it Emmett. Stop the fight. _And he does it, because that's who he is. He makes Ethan fall on the ground by kicking him in his thigh. I look at Four, I know these are not the rules, but Ethan is on the ground, he can stop the combat now.

Four nods and says. "Okay, okay. Everybody calm down." I get up and run to Emmett. His mouth is slightly opened with the picture of me running towards him, but he doesn't let me down. He wraps his arms around me when I hit his chest. I don't care if everybody is watching, I just want my Emmett back, and I'm not going to let Ethan destroy whatever this is.

"Let's get you to the hospital." I say, putting _my_ arm around him. I can feel him breathing really fast. I look at Four and he nods, agreeing with me, but he also looks at Ethan, saying he comes with us. I press my lips together and nod too. I don't help Ethan getting up, instead I exit the room and wait for him to catch up with me and Emmett, but not before I see the look on everybody else's face, though Liz is the only one staring at my left hand, laced on Emmett's, while my right hand his around him. It's not that gesture that makes the difference, Emmett and I have been holding hands since the ceremony day, but before there wasn't this fire in my eyes, or this sudden need of being so close to him. Or even the constant blush on our faces. I wonder how is it to see all of these from the outside… Is it as confusing as it is for me? Is it confusing for Emmett too?

As we walk towards the hospital I make sure to keep Emmett on my right side and Ethan on my left. Emmett is trying to make me let him go so that I won't have to carry both his weight and Ethan's who has his hand on my shoulder. But I keep Emmett's hand on mine, and my arm around him, until we get there, and then panic when I have to let go.

One of the nurses carefully evaluates both of them and sends Ethan to one of the beds. "I'll get you some painkillers and some ice for that lip." She says as she starts looking for the painkillers. Emmett turns to me, but keeps his eyes focuses on the ground. "Is… I'm sorry, I-" I cut him. "You don't have to be sorry. Four told me what happened. I should've known." He looks at me. "You couldn't."

The nurse is back with the painkillers. "Those are going to make you sleepy so maybe you should go to your dorm and someone can put the ice in you lip later, while you're asleep. Just make sure to wash your face, okay?" She lends him a small plastic flask with two pills. I take the flask and exit the room, so that I can help him get to the dorm. He stops me once we're in the dark hall.

"Give me the pills and go find the others." He says. "What?" "I don't want you around when I take them." "Don't be stupid, these are going to put you asleep; the ones Four gave you were different painkillers." I say, holding the flask with more strength than I should. He shrugs. "I don't care. I'm not going to risk to hurt you again." He moves forward all of sudden and my heart races and I feel my neck burn in the place he kissed me today, but he's only trying to take the pills from me. I give them to him. He looks at me for a while and then steps backward again, embarrassed. My hand moves automatically and I end up caring him in the cheek. I feel myself forced to say something. "I did know. I just refused to see it." I take my hand back. "I'll be there to put your ice when you're asleep."

I spent the past two hour putting ice on Emmett's face. It's almost midnight and both Owen and Maeve managed to sneak into our dorm once everyone fell asleep. They're obviously too excited about whatever is going to happen tonight.

"We better go, and you better wake him up. Four will be here any minute." Maeve says as she pushes Owen out of the room. He didn't talk much while he was here, which is weird because he's used to be with Maeve. Maybe he just got used to have another guy in the group.

I nod, but they're out already. I turn to Emmett to check his lip and I feel something on my back. I almost fall from the bed, but Emmett's arm keeps me steady. "Damn, you scared me! How long are you awake?" He smiles, what makes me suspicious, maybe these painkillers were the same Four gave him. "Sorry, but I wouldn't take it back, you're funny when you overreact." "Funny?" I say, trying to look mad, but that's impossible because I'm still feeling that relief I felt to know that Emmett is back – my Emmett.

The door opens when he opens his mouth. "Everyone up! We have a train to catch in ten minutes!" He turns the light on to make sure we're all awake and when he looks at me in Emmett's head he has to contain a smile. Great, I owe him one now.

Fifteen minutes later we're all on a train's car, waiting for Four to explain us why are we awake at midnight. The Dauntless-born initiates are here too, and so are Eric and Lauren, Owen's sister and also his instructor.

"Okay, transfers listen to me. This was only supposed to happen tomorrow night after our field trip." Everyone starts talking at the same time, Four never told us about any field trip. "But!" He screams to make his self hear over the sound of the train. "As we all decided that you weren't use to jump in and out of trains yet, and we didn't want you to embarrass all of us tomorrow, it's going to happen tonight."

"And what exactly is going to happen?" Ethan asks. It must feel terrible for him not knowing something. "Tonight we'll divide all of you in two teams to play capture the flag. This is a tradition on the Dauntless faction, so pay attention to the rules." He pauses to make sure everyone is listening. "Each team will have an even mix of members, including Dauntless-born, transfers and us." He points to himself and then to Lauren and Eric. "One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same."

"What's the price?" Ethan shouts.

"There's no price you're idiot. We're not Erudite." Owen answers him back. Both Four and Lauren smile approving Owen's answer, but not Eric. "Let's just chose our teams. Transfers first, in case you don't remember." "Do the honors." Says Four. He looks at all of us. "Ethan." I wonder how he knows our names. "Is." Four says, not one second after Eric chose. "Emmett." My heart falls to the ground; Emmett is on Eric's team.

They keep on choosing and I get to stay with Liz, Andrew and Owen. Maeve, Lucas and Lara stayed on Eric's team. But we got Lauren too, as Eric was the first one to pick. Our team is the first one to hide the flag, but I'm not excited to play if I'll have to do it against Emmett and Maeve. I glance at her, she doesn't look happy either, worse, she looks scared. But why's that, I mean she's with Eric. I thought she would like that.

My team stands up. I squeeze Emmett's hand before I stand up from his lap – literally. The car is so full we're all really close together if we all want to sit. As soon as we're out of the train Owen comes to me. "Excited?" He asks. I sigh. "Not really. I'm not good at games." Oh, c'mon Is! Emmett had is revenge this afternoon. Is time for you to have yours! Let's beat them!" I think of his words and then get my paintball gun ready to shoot. "Let's do it!"

I look at my team. We can win. We have Four, Lauren and Owen. Liz is smart. And I don't know about the other Dauntless-born initiates but they must be good. I smile to myself. This is my chance to see Ethan's face after a _double revenge. _

**A/N: Okay, chapters are going to get longer, sorry, but feel free to blame on my teachers. Tell me if you like it please, it would mean a lot. And it would be like a birthday present, because I spent it working on it (while I wasn't at school). Oh, and this fanfail already has a ship: Emmettbelle! I know - who the hell would give themselves the effort to give this crap a name, right? I'm as admired as you are. But thank you so much to the person who told me! So thank you all for the reviews and I want to know who else ships Emmettbelle! (: **


	9. Chapter Nine - Capture the Flag

**Chapter Nine – Capture the Flag **

We're running towards nowhere in the middle of the woods. We were supposed to set a place to hide our flag but no one came up with a good idea, so we just decided by choosing a random tree. My legs hurt from the running and I'm starting to stay behind. "What's up Is? Is the speed to _high?" _Four shouts from the front of the line, playing with the words. I race, trying to catch up with him. I fail, obviously; but I manage to pass Liz and Andrew and end up running side by side with Lauren, who's trying to make sure no one gets lost. Owen is right in front of us.

"So, you're my brother's new best friend?" I don't know what to say so I remain quiet. She laughs. "Don't worry, it's actually a good thing that he manages to have more friends. I have to admit I was getting worried that the only person he actually talked to outside our family was Maeve." "Seriously?" I ask. That's not very Owen of his. He's usually so talkative, though, now that she mentions it, I don't remember ever seeing Owen or Maeve talking to any of the other Dauntless-born initiates. I mean, saying some jokes and laughing with them as group, yeah, but not really talking.

"Yeah, I don't think he ever got used to the changes Max did here. Since then, he only trusts Maeve." I have to strain to keep up with her, as we run. "What changes?" She looks around, as if she wasn't supposed to talk about it, but then she shrugs, saying "Everyone knows it anyway." She starts running slowly making us close the line, while both Liz and Andrew pass through us. "About five years ago, Max decided that we weren't Dauntless enough. Back then, team work was what we believed in. Do you think that's still the same?" She asks me.

I think about it, and the first thing that shows up in my mind is Emmett in the hospital, then me in the hospital, and at last, me in the ledge, me, who should've been death if it weren't for Owen. That's why he saved me, because he was sick of all this violence. I shake my head to her, answering her question. "That's right. Things changed. And they're getting worse." She doesn't give me more details, but she's not the first one to tell me that. Actually it's what Four seems to insist on telling me – us, the transfers, whatever.

Everyone stops running in front of us, and I'm guessing the ten minutes have passed, and the other team is getting out of the train now. It's time to hide our flag and go look for the other team's flag. Both me and Lauren stop running once we reach the others. Lauren stands side by side with Four, who's holding our red flag. I look for Owen and stand next to him.

"Time to choose a tree, c'mon guys!" Four says, laughing at our "I have no idea what I'm doing here" expressions. After a few seconds of being stupefied everyone starts looking for the best tree to hide the flag. It's Liz who finds it.

"This one seems high enough, and there's enough leaves to hide it!" She shouts. Everyone turns to her and makes their own evaluation of the tree. She's right - it's perfect for what we need. About five meters high, big and lots of leaves. Perfect.

"Alright." Four says. "Who wants to hide it?" He looks around but no one offers. Am I the only one who noticed he's joking smile is gone when he sees that there are no volunteers? "Fine. I'll do it myself. We got ourselves a bunch of cowards in here, Lau." He complains, as he walks towards the tree. "I'll do it!" Owen shouts, running toward Four and putting his gun on his back so that he can climb the tree. "Show-off." Lauren says and everyone laughs, even me. That's what I used to think of the Dauntless. Four tells him something before he lends him the flag. Owen nods and Four comes back to the circle.

"Now can anyone tell me what should we do next, or am I going to have to make a plan for you too?" Everyone stands still. Four sighs, but he doesn't say a word, he's only provoking us. Liz saves the day – again. "I think some of us should stay on guard, and the rest should go look for the other flag." A Dauntless initiate boy cuts her. "What are we, Amity? We don't play save. Let's just go find them and get their flag!"

"Be my guest, Trevor. I'll stay. At least, Liz has a plan. If I remember, that's how your team lost last year." Four says, embarrassing him on propose; no one laughs this time. Lauren speaks to break the tension. "Okay, so three of us should stay here, the other go look for the others, so then, if needed, we can split in two groups again." There's an agreement whisper and everyone nods. "So, who wants to stay?" "I stay!" Owen shouts, from the tree. I haven't noticed that he stayed there even after he hid the flag. He was already planning on staying – that's what Four must have told him. "I stay too." I say, hoping one of the instructors has to stay too. "Then I guess I stay as well." Four says, and I smile to myself. It's better to have Four than to have Lauren – Owen wouldn't be happy if he sister stayed with him like if he was a little kid.

Both me and Four leave the circle, with a "see you when it's done" to the rest of the team, as we go join Owen. I hesitate before I climb, but what has to be done, has to be done, if I want to win against Ethan. I sigh… _and Emmett. _

Four explained us that staying on the tree – which is the metaphorical way of saying "staying on guard" – doesn't mean we can relax. We have to focus on our goal, because, someday, it might be the life of someone we love that we're risking. So, the three of us are very quiet, trying to hear any sound that's not natural – translation: that comes from humans, and by humans I mean the other team. I'm leaning with my back against the tree trunk; Owen is by my side, in another branch, also leaning against the trunk. Four, on his turn, is making sure I won't fall, so he has his hand leaning against the tree, right above my head. His muscles are tense, for some reason, as if was afraid of falling himself. I shake my head – Four, afraid of something, what a joke. We're all his responsibility, and he's tense because the others left about half an hour ago. His expression though, makes me think he had planned it all before. And I don't just mean someone staying on guard. I mean, I and Owen staying on guard with him.

We hear a sound, not far from here, and I hold Four's arm to make sure I won't fall as I look everywhere around me. But there's no sign of anyone. There's nothing we can do now, but wait. And it's not a long waiting; five minutes later we start to hear a voice. I smile and glance at Owen. It's Ethan's voice – I'm going to have my payback, and I don't care if it means I lose, as long as I get to give him some good punches.

I look for the place where the voice comes from and I finally see them, coming from East, there's Ethan and Lara. "There's no way we're losing this thing. Though we need to teach a lesson to those two. They could've gotten us caught." Lara is speaking too loud. What's their game? Weren't they supposed to be careful, so they could sneak in and get our flag? This is not very smart of them, and they're the ones who come from Erudite. No wondering why Liz left them.

I look up to Four, trying to say something is wrong. He nods – he got it too. Then he points his chin to Lara and Ethan, telling me to look again. I do as he says, and that's when I notice it - on Ethan's belt - a red tissue.

"Isn't that cheating?!" I whisper, starting to get on my nerves. Not even when it's not just about them, they just can't pass without cheating!

Four nods. "I'm going to climb another tree so I'll have a better angle to shoot them, okay?" He doesn't wait for me to nod, he turns to Owen. "You're going down, and shoot from the bushes. Lau said you're good with close combat. Let them get out of paintball bullets and then go." Owen nods and starts getting down the tree. Four gets ready to do the same, but I grab his arm again, stopping him. "And what do I do?" I'm not as good as he is at shooting, especially if Owen gets involved too. Besides, I would immediately reveal where we hid our flag. "You're thin, weightless and small - hide." He shrugs as he gets his bullets inside his gun. "Hide?! No! I'm not staying out of this!" I have to make a big effort to keep my voice down. "I'm not saying for you to stay out, actually I'm saying the opposite. Oh, and another tip, this is the only tree they'll _have _to pass by." He looks at my hand and I let his arm go, so that he can go down and then climb another tree. What did he mean with that?

I look for Owen, but the guy is good, I can't find him, even though I know he's somewhere in the bushes. Not even a sign of his gun. Ethan and Lara are getting closer, too closer, and I still don't know what to do. _Think, Is, think! _Okay, Four said I'm thin, weightless and small. What can I do with that? I obviously can't get in the combat like Owen, I can run, but that's also not what he said. He said, hide.

Ethan and Lara pass by Four's tree and he shoots the first bullet. Ethan and Lara stop walking and look around. They look terrified, but I don't have time to be amused by that fact.

_THINK! _He also didn't tell me to shoot, which means, hide until you have a chance. But I obviously can't shoot now, because I will reveal my position, and I can't shoot then because I might hit Owen. What else did he say? _This is the only tree they'll have to pass by. _I look around, he's right, there's two trees standing really close together about six foot away from this tree. So the way is blocked through there, if they want to run, they'll have to pass by this tree.

Ethan and Lara, already covered in ink by Four and Owen, start shooting around, with no target. I assume Owen is moving from bushes to bushes so he's protecting both his position and Four's.

_Focus, Is! _Alright. They'll have to pass by here and… and… that's when I must act! But, still, what do. I. do?

Lara is out of bullets already, what a dumb, shooting them all without even thinking… But Ethan is more careful - he only shoots _back, _meaning he only shoots to the direction where the previous bullet came from. Although, Ethan easily gets out of bullets too, as he's fighting two opponents. That's Owen's time to show up. Lara starts running when she sees Owen and I don't stop her, though Four makes sure to shoot a few bullets to her back, ending up by revealing his position.

Ethan, knowing that he won't have other chance if he doesn't want to be a coward, turns to fight Owen. While they're distracted, Four wisely comes out of his tree and climbs to mine. "It won't last long." He says. "Owen is good, but Ethan is already thinking about _running._" I look back at him, noticing the emphasis of his word – running. He's leaning against the trunk, just like I was a few minutes ago. Now I'm nearly reaching the end of my branch, and I thank god I'm thin, now. Act when he tries to run, it can be any minute. That's what Four told me to do. But what is so important on Ethan that I didn't need to act when Lara took off? I feel like hitting with my hand on my forehead – the flag! I need to catch the flag!

I approach the edge of the branch as much as I can, and I have to make a strain not to look at the ground, or I'll panic. I look back at Four – he's staring at me, with his eyes too open, as if I was some kind of freak. I shrug, that's not the matter now. I take my gun out of my shoulder and give it to him. I won't need it. He takes it, and prepares it to shoot.

A scream and I turn my eyes to Owen and Ethan's fight. This is it! Ethan is taking off. I count down in my head. _Three… two… one… NOW!_ Making the biggest effort I've ever done in my entire life I jump over my worst enemy and try to reach for the flag. My head hits Ethan's shoulder and we both fall to the ground, but that doesn't stop me. My hand is on his legs and I move it up, looking for his belt. He roars, but I don't care, I got the belt, I just need to find that flag now. And there it is, slipping through my fingers, a soft tissue. I grab it in the exact moment he punches me in the stomach. I scream, and I'm flying ending up by crashing on one of the trees that stand really close together, blocking a possible escape route. My back hurts, but I have it – I have the flag. We won!

Ethan tries to come for me, but dozen of paintball bullets turn his face multicolored and he stops running to cover his face. I sigh, mentally thanking Four. I hear voices as I try to get on my feet, I don't need to do much, as Owen comes from me, and takes me on his arms. "We won, we won, we won…" He's half screaming, half singing, as he spins around with me. I feel my panic for highs coming back, as my feet are not on the ground, and I look for an excuse for him to put me down. And there he is, smiley when he arrives, but his smile gets lost when he sees us.

"Look, Emmett and Maeve!" I shout, trying to make myself listen over the sound of Owen's voice. He puts me down, and I don't waste my time, I just run to them, with a big smile on my face… and a big pain on my back. I'm about to hug Emmett when I notice that both him and Maeve are covered in ink. He hugs me anyway, covering me in ink too. "What happen to you two?!" I ask, as Emmett is still hugging me. Maeve starts shooting Owen, to cover him in ink as well, and he can't protect his self, as he's out of bullets, so he starts running in circles.

"Eric." Emmett whispers to my ear. "I'll tell you everything later, okay?" I step backward, but keep my hand on his waist, just enough to look at his face. He looks tensed up, so I don't ask him more questions.

Back on the train my team is making the party. Well, at least the transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates. Four, Lauren and Eric got in another car, and Four is probably asking for an explanation of why the initiates he was responsible for, cheated. Emmett has his legs open, with his knees slightly lifted from the floor of the car. I'm sitting between his legs with my back leaning against his chest. He tried to make me a massage, for fun, but it didn't really work, so I just took his hands and laced them on mine. Now, his hands are over my stomach, and I'm playing with his fingers. He looks distracted, and he keeps on looking to the door that leads to the other car, where Lauren, Four and Eric are. I squeeze his hand, and he softly turns his head. I can feel his warm breath on my neck.

"You okay?" I ask. "Huh-huh." He says, caring me in the arm, and then turning his head to the door again. I lean forward, so that I can turn around to face him. He looks at me, as if he had just woken up. I get on my knees, and then put my hands on his cheeks. "Damn, you're cold Is!" He complains, taking my hands on his, which are far warmer than mine. "You're keeping something from me." I accuse him, ignoring his provocation. "Yes. I'm keeping you safe." "From what?" He shakes his head, so I move closer. That's what he does when he wants something from me. It's my turn to mess with him. His hands, before on mine, move to my arms and then my waist and I regret l moved closer, but there's no way back now.

"Look, this is probably the safest place for you to tell me what happened." I say. He looks at me for a while. "Fine." He says. "It's Eric. I don't like him. I think he's dangerous." I paralize. He's not the first person to tell me this – today! _I should've stopped Eric from choosing who was fighting who, but we all need to be careful with him, he's good friends with Max. _Four told me we the same thing, but using other words. "Tell me the whole story." I say.

He nods. "As soon as we got out of the train, Eric started to say what we should do, and as you know, he told us, to cheat. At first I didn't know it was cheating, Maeve told me, and when we told him we didn't agree with what he wanted to do, he said we should be the ones to do it, to prove our bravery. I have to admit he scares the hell out of me, but cheating is not correct, so I refused to do it, no matter if he killed me right there." A chill passes through me, and I cut him. "Don't ever say that again. If you have to cheat to survive, you do it, okay?" He lifts his eyebrows, surprised with my reaction. "Do you want me to tell the story or not?" I blush. "Go on."

"Well, as I was saying, I refused to do as he said, and so did Maeve. She actually made both us sit on the grass, like on the middle of nothing, where anyone could see us, just to show our rebellion." He pauses. "That's when Eric freaked out. He told Ethan and Lara to take the flag as far as they could from where we were, and then he made everyone shoot against us." I lean back, sitting on my legs, shocked with what he just said. Both Emmett and Maeve had to take dozens of bullets at the same time. And even though it's just paintball bullets, I took some from Maeve and they actually hurt. "I want to see it. When we get home." I say. I want to see how much damage he did to my Emmett. He pinches his lips. "Is, it's not-". But I don't listen to him, and I don't want to – I'm not changing my mind. Everyone is getting ready to jump.

It's over five in the morning, and I'm in the guys' bathroom with Emmett. I didn't let him fall asleep to make sure I could check on him once everyone else was sleeping. "Take your shirt off." I demand. He glances at me, and then does as I say. I strain not to look at him while he undresses, but I quit after a few seconds. I'll have to look at him after all, won't I? My mouth opens with astonishment when he takes his dark shirt off. Blue became his main color, both on his chest and his back. Among the blue I can see purple, red, yellow and a weird dark color I can't name.

"Emmett-" I say, not exactly knowing what to say. But then I notice a tattoo on the top of his back. I reach for it, but then I put my hands down, afraid I might hurt him with all the bruises he has. He steps forward, to me, and takes my hands just to put it on his chest. Then he closes his eyes, and we just stay there. "It feels good. The cold of your skin." He explains, as he puts one of my hands down, and takes the other to pull me out of the bathroom and driving me to the dorm again. "No. We should go to the hospital." I say. He ignores me and takes me to the dorm.

When we get there, he stops, sort of embarrassed. I pull him to my bed, too sleepy to think about appearances. My back hurt when I lie on the bed, but I can't show it to Emmett as he wasn't there when it all happened and I don't want to worry him. I even had to make Maeve promise she wouldn't tell when we were changing clothes at the girls' bathroom.

We only wake up right before lunch the next morning, which makes us rush to the dining room and then to the train station as we're going on a field trip. It's not anything much, Four is just showing us the fence that protects the city, and the Dauntless-born initiates are not even coming with us – they went there yesterday. It's a fast thing, and we get to see some Amity members. I have to say that the funniest part of the trip is that Ethan is on a real bad mood because he didn't manage to take off all the ink on his face. I could even swear Four winked at me when Ethan wasn't looking.

Once we're at the Dauntless headquarters again I tell Emmett I want to go to the tattoos store, but I don't tell him I'm going there for two reasons: to make a new one, and to find out what Emmett tattooed, as he didn't quite let me see it yesterday. "I'll go with you." He says. "You are?" I ask, trying not to sound too nervous – if he's coming I can't ask Tori what he tattooed. Or when…

He takes my hand and drives me to the tattoo store. I'm surprised when I find Maeve and Owen there. "You're still grounded?" I ask. Maeve laughs. "I wish. He came here to make a tattoo of a flag on his wrist. We were supposed to make it together this year… but I didn't win." I feel sorry for Maeve, and silly for thinking that she was involved with Eric. There's definitely something going on between them, but now I'm sure they're not in some sort of relationship, so I can breathe half normally again.

"Here to make a new tattoo?" Tori asks when she notices us. "I am." I turn to Emmett. "You…?" "Nope, I'm good." Tori laughs. "I hope you don't regret the previous one?" He smiles and glances at me. "I don't." I raise my eyebrows to him. Unexpectedly he takes his shirt off and turns his back to me. I shake my head before I approach to him – I thought he didn't want me to see his tattoo. He has a small shield tattooed on his back. "What does it mean?" I whisper. He puts his shirt back on and smiles to me. "I'll give you a tip. I did it on two days ago." So that's when he did it – when I was in the hospital.

I think about his words. Two days ago was the day I got beaten by Ethan. "It's you. You're the shield. Protecting me." The words come out of my mouth, but I don't feel like they do, because I can't believe them. I can't believe he finds it so important to keep me safe. Emmett nods to me.

"You can go now." Tori says as she puts a bandage on Owen's wrist. "Sure you don't want me to hold your hand, Is?" Owen says as he stands up. I laugh. "That's why I brought Emmett for." Maeve laughs too, pulling Owen out of the store. "I want the Erudite symbol on my left wrist." I say. I beat the know-it-all. I get a second tattoo. Two more to go.

All of a sudden it's like the temperature goes down ten degrees in the room. Emmett and Tori exchange meaningful looks that I don't understand. "What just happened?" I ask; my eyes jumping from Emmett to Tori, and then to Emmett again.

"Nothing. Let's get your tattoo done." She says, making me sit on the dentist's chair.

As Tori didn't give me painkillers this and I find myself having trouble to fall asleep as my wrist burns. The whole room is dark and everyone's a sleep already, or at least I thought so. I turn around in my bed and see a dark figure dressing up. "Good, you're awake. Get up." Emmett whispers. Confused, I do as he says. It's still awkward for me to change clothes in front of Emmett, even in the dark.

As soon as I'm done, he holds my hand and drives me out of the dorm to the training room. I wonder what does he want to do at this time of the day and I feel my heart racing. He doesn't turn on the lights, which makes it hard to see him, though he leaves the door opened so we have some sort of dark blue light coming from the hall.

He turns to me when we get to the combat area. "What are we doing here?" I ask. "We're here to train you. And we're going to do this every night until phase one is over." I shake my head. "Why? You shouldn't help me. We're competing against each other." _I just have no chances to win._ He rolls his eyes at me. "I'm not going to let you go anywhere, alright?" It's the last thing he says, before he makes me fight with him. Over and over again, until I know my strengths, until I learn how to use my elbows and my knees, until I can barely breathe.

Waking up the following morning seems like a deathly mission, but somehow I manage to let Emmett pull me to the training room. I almost forgot we're using new weapons today, and I feel myself pass out when I see what they are, though I try to tell myself what I'm seeing is not real. Four's words wake me for reality and I start trembling.

"You're going to learn how to throw knifes today."

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry if this ending sucks. I tried, I promise I did, and this is the best I could do. Hope I'm not just ruining Emmett as I go, as he happens to be the best character I've ever created. Anyways, your turn. Some reviews, please? **


	10. Chapter Ten - Unexpected

**Chapter Ten – Unexpected**

"_You're going to learn how to throw knifes today." _Four casually throws the knife a few inches high and then catches it in the air.

I feel my heartbeat accelerate, and I hold Emmett's arm - still trembling; I think I prefer the guns now. Four glances at me and I know he knows something is wrong. Emmett, instead, pulls me closer, pretending nothing happened. "Calm down Is. You're going to be the shooter, not the target." I step forward, looking at Ethan who had to cut his dirty blonde hair to get rid of all the ink. He looks too happy now that someone told him he's going to get a weapon on his hands again. "We'll see that." I whisper back. He opens his eyes more than usual – shocked –, making its blue tone becoming lighter as if we were outside. But that doesn't last longer, as Four keeps on talking.

"But these aren't all the news I have for you." He pauses. "Tomorrow will be your last day in phase one. You'll spend the whole day, today, practicing your knife throwing and tomorrow you'll all fight twice, except for Liz and Lucas who are the ones who got to only fighting once, as you're in an odd number." I panic. I'll have to spend a whole day near knifes, or worse, near Ethan with knifes on his hands, and tomorrow I'll have to fight again… twice. Emmett holds me strongly as I'm starting to call attentions with my uncontrolled trembling. Four notices that too. "Okay. I'll throw three knives first and then you start practicing, as usual."

This time he makes sure to do it slower than he did last time, making sure no one cuts himself while throwing the knife – that's probably what's going to happen to me. After Four throws the knife he makes us stand side by side with each other, though not by alphabetical order, as when we were training with the punching bags – thank god! –, and tell us to throw our knives to the only and big target standing about ten feet away from me.

I have one knife on my right hand and two knives on my left hand. Both of them are shaking, but you can't really tell as my body is trembling too. The others are throwing their knives already. I'm the only one standing here, just looking at the knives in my hands, and wishing I had never took them from the table.

"Is!" I jump and turn around. Four is standing behind me. "Let me get this straight, you're not afraid of guns, but you're afraid of knives?" He says in a low voice, as he holds my right hand with his hand, teaching me the correct movement to throw the knife. I feel his breath in my ear. "Do it. It'll all be over by the end of the day. I promise." He gives me a meaningful look before he moves to help Emmett, who was staring at us. "I'm sorry." I whisper to Emmett, not sure why I did it. Embarrassed I turn to the target and throw my knife, just as Four taught me.

It nearly hits the center of the target, and I'm a hundred percent positive that if it weren't for the trembling I would've hit the cross in the middle of the center. Everyone stares at me. There are only two knives in the second circle; all the others are on the floor or in the third circle if not in the white part of the target. A chill passes through me. How can I be so good with something I'm afraid of?

Ignoring the others I throw the other two knives, anxious to get rid of them. The second one hit the first one and falls, the third one though, breaks the target as it passes through the center of it. I feel the other's eyes making a hole in my back as I walk towards the target to get my knives back, as I'm expected to do – not that I'm excited to have them back.

A noise passes right next to my ear and I see a knife hitting the wall in front of me. I turn around, shocked – someone just threw a knife at me.

Four is holding Emmett by the arms and Eric is standing by the door, Ethan standing side by side with him, and I'm a hundred percent sure he had knife on his hand when I turned around, but it's not there anymore. One of them threw the knife, and I'm guessing Eric did. But why? Emmett's is screaming, I can _see _that, but I don't hear a word he's saying. It's like my ears are still stuck in noise that came from the knife passing not two inches away from my head. Four manages to calm Emmett down and points to me. Emmett nods. Four exits the room, taking Eric with him.

Emmett walks towards me and holds my arms, his blue eyes too opened again. He says something, but I can't hear him. He shakes me, screaming something this time – or at least it's what I think he's doing. I try to read his lips, but the only thing I understand is "Is" - my name - and I remember how beautiful it sounds when he's the one to say it. How beautiful his voice is. I panic, wondering if I'm ever going to listen to it again. I start trembling again, more violently than when I had the knives in my hands and I realize both Emmett and Four were right. I shouldn't be afraid of knives when there's so much more I can lose than my own life. Emmett looks as terrified as I am – is he trembling too or is my trembling that violent?

He looks around, panicking. I look around too, trying to see what's scaring him, but everyone else staring at me as well. Ethan and Lara are even laughing, even though Andrew is not. Emmett screams something to them and they stop laughing, then he looks back at me. He shakes his head, frustrated and then takes me on his arms. I want to react, but I don't, too afraid of what's going on. Of what's scaring Emmett.

He takes me through dark corridors and I slowly stop trembling – as usual, the dark makes me feel safe, as if we couldn't be found in here. I don't know for how long we're walking, or he's walking, but I'm finally able to listen to his steps, and I sigh from relief; although the noise that knife made is still resounding in my head, it's still a progress. "I'm scared, Emmett." I try to say, but no sound comes out of my mouth. He stops and puts me on my feet again, his eyes – dark blue now – closely watching me. "I'm scared." This time I can hear a whisper, but it feels like someone else's voice instead of my own.

He makes a weird face, as if he was disgusted of what I just said, and I pull back, away from the hands I didn't notice were in my waits, keeping me steady. As always, he doesn't let me. Instead, he pulls me right into his chest, making me smell his sweet but male smell. He hides his face on my hair, which probably makes him low himself a lot, because of our ridiculous high difference. "Shh." He says. "It's okay to be afraid." But then he raises his head, putting his hands on my cheeks and looking into my eyes.

My heart races. I can feel his breath on my face, and it's even better than feeling it on my neck, which, by itself, was already overwhelming. "But you can't show it here." He says this time loudly, as if he was trying to convince himself too and makes that disgusted face again. I wonder if that's what he was disgusted about before too. By the fact that we can't be who we really are here, or at least we can't show it, because fears are part of us, they define what we can or cannot do.

He hides his face on my hair again and I strain to keep my heartbeat steady. "I'm scared too." He whispers. "I told you. Eric is dangerous. He has some sort of power in here. And it scares me that he can so easily damage any of us." I lean forward, making pressure against his chest. I don't know why I do it, this is all so new to me, all these messy feelings that changing factions caused me, but knowing that Emmett shares my fear makes me feel safe, which is completely insane. I also don't know why I raise my head and softly press my lips on his neck – his smell is more intense right below his ear. I feel his muscles tensed up, in my back, for a second – he's surprised. _I shouldn't have done that._

We hear steps at the end of the hall – running steps – and I feel thankful to whoever is coming in our direction. Well, as long as it's not Ethan or his idiot friends, or Eric. But it's not. It's Maeve and Owen. They stop in front of me, looking from me to Emmett, and then back to me. I didn't notice that we both pull back, almost leaning against opposite walls, when we heard the steps. Maeve is wearing a long-sleeved shirt to cover the bruises, I'm guessing. Emmett tried to do the same thing, but he decided that it was to warm for that, so he just got back to use black t-shirts or sleeveless shirts, like the one he's wearing today.

"We've been looking for you two everywhere, you're late for lunch!" Maeve complains. "Let's go!" "Lunch?! Has it been that long?" I say as I let here take my hand and drive me to the dining room. "You took your time to… you know." Emmett explains, and Owen glances at me, as if he couldn't believe Emmett's words. "Yeah, whatever. Have you heard the news?" She stands in front of me, making me almost hit her. She looks terrified, with her eyes too open and a light coming from behind her, leaving her face in the dark, but making her figure look bigger. Emmett and Owen, who didn't stop walking, had to turn around and come back.

"It's not that big of a deal. I mean we all expected it to happen someday." Owen says, shrugging. "It's not?! Well, I don't know about you, but I expected it _not to _happen." "That's not what I meant! I meant…" "Can one of you please tell me what the news is?!" I nearly scream. Maeve looks around. "Keep your voice down!" She looks around again. "Eric is now one of the headmasters." I freeze and Emmett reacts instantly, making us go inside the dining room, when in fact that's just an excuse for him to stay closer to me, as if someone could attack me out of nowhere – which in fact can happen, as I've seen some hours ago.

Being in the same room with Eric and Ethan seems impossible, but Four comes to sit with us and makes it all feel safer. At least Eric won't attack us while Four is around. The silence is permanent in our table, but no one tries to make it otherwise. I exchange looks with Emmett and Four, who are sitting each by my side, and Emmett does the same with Maeve. It seems like the only one who thinks that Eric is not that dangerous is Owen. I don't know how he can look at all his piercings and not chill.

The rest of the training isn't as hard as the morning was, and Emmett manages to hit the center, just like me. I'm still not comfortable with having knives in my hands, but it's as Emmett said – I'm the shooter, not the target; though I was, this morning. Dinner becomes the weirdest part of all day – and I had a knife being thrown against me, so this is a little odd. When we get to the dining room everyone is extremely excited, apparently I'm the one that is not within the subject. Even Emmett, who instead of being excited is sort of melancholic, seems to know what's happening.

"What is it?" I ask him. "Why is everyone so excited?" He looks up to me, surprised that someone talked to him, and then looks around. "Oh, that. It's Visitors' Day tomorrow." He says and then looks at his tray, still sad. I didn't even remember that. The Visitors' Day happens once in a year, and that's the only day your parents can visit you, or you can visit them, as long as you're not an initiate.

I don't get it at first, but then I understand that just because I don't miss my family doesn't mean he doesn't miss his. I mean, they were all very close to each other in his house, I remember that. Actually, I used to be jealous of that. If my parents were more like his, I might have never left my faction, who knows?

"Emmett, don't be sad." I say, as I pick a table as far as I can from Eric's. "I'm sure your p-" Then I remember the baby who is probably born by now. I pinch my lips as I used to do back in Candor. I notice that I don't just pinch my lips just because I don't want to lie, anymore. I'm comfortable with lies now. No, now I pinch my lips so that I won't hurt people. That's something I would never be able to do on my old faction, if it was ever mine. Unexpectedly, he answers me. "No, I'm okay with that. My parents can't come, I understand. Besides, they have Kate there with them, so they won't miss me that much." He looks distracted, like when we were on the train two nights ago. I feel terribly sad for him. But if it's not about his family then, what is bothering him this time? It's probably Eric again.

Owen and Maeve don't join us at dinner, preferring to join the excitement on the Dauntless-born initiates' table, but Four comes to sit with us. He seems quite disturbed too. "What's up, Four?" I ask. "Hum… Sorry, what?" He asks back. "I asked what is wrong." "Oh, nothing." He says, standing up again and taking his tray. He didn't even touch his food for the two minutes he was sitting in the metal bench.

Emmett made me stay awake all night "preparing for the combats" even though none of us knows who we're fighting with. It was six o'clock in the morning when I decided I really needed a break. "How do you expect me to fight without sleeping?!" I complain, knowing that he is doing this for me and that he stayed awake all night as well. He walks towards a backpack he brought and opens it, taking another water bottle out and a bunch of energetic bars. "Here" He says. "eat as much as you want." "How about you?" I ask, suspicious. He's still bothered with something, and it's been too long for it to still be Eric. "Not hungry." He answers me, as he drinks a swallow of water. I take the bottle from his hands and drink too, feeling the fire inside of me when my brain thinks that I'm placing my lips in the same place he had his a few moments ago. When I'm no longer thirsty, I feel free to get mad him. "Emmett, what is really going on?" I ask, sounding far from mad. He looks down, before he answers. "I think I'm getting ill. Maybe I'll pass by the hospital before the combats. It's not a big deal." He shrugs. "Don't worry." _Of course I worry, you're idiot; I care about you more than I ever thought it was possible to care about someone! _Even though I don't say it out loud I think he might have heard it because he takes one of the energetic bars from the amount and eats it.

Waiting for Four in the training room is pure pain. He hid the blackboard with a white cloth, so that we can't see who's fighting who. I'm guessing in one side of the board we have the first fights and in the other side the second fights. Four enters the room in the exact moment the clock strikes eight. He is still as concerned as he was yesterday. What is happening with him and Emmett? "I know you're all excited for this afternoon, but you still have two fights before lunch." A quick glance at me. I'm the only one who hasn't shown any connections to her family – if we don't count with Emmett, who has only shown it to me. Everyone has seen Andrew crying, Liz trying to make Lucas feel better by talking about her faction when he thinks about his ex-girlfriend, and of course, Lara and Ethan are still know-it-alls from their heads to their feet. "And lunch time is at two and half for you today." Four says, pausing to see if anyone has questions. "Okay, let's get done with this." He turns to the board and takes the cloth out. As usual I look for Emmett's name before I look for mine.

First fight. He's fighting Lucas. An easy fight. Lucas must be thanking the gods that this will be his only fight today – Emmett won't make him suffer too much. The second fight is Ethan against Andrew. By the smile on his face, looks like Ethan won't care about his puppy during the battle. And, at last, me against Lara. I smile. I had my chance to revenge Ethan, but I have always hated Lara and she cheated in the capture the flag game anyway. I squeeze Emmett's hand to wish him good luck and he looks at my hand as if he was surprised for this movement. I mean, it's not like it's something we're not used to. He stands up and walks two steps, but then he turns around, walks towards me, kisses me in the forehead – making both of us blush -, whispers "just in case" and then walks toward the combat area again.

Emmett doesn't hesitate on attacking, but I can see he's choosing parts of Lucas's body that won't hurt him that much. Lucas manages to punch Emmett a few times before he puts him on the floor. In those small moments I feel a deep hatred for Lucas – Emmett's bruises were starting to heal. When the fight is over, Four sends Lucas to the hospital but tells him to come back as soon as he can.

The second fight is even faster than the first one, as Andrew starts crying two minutes after the fight starts. If I manage to win both fights today I might have a chance of not being the last one in the classification. It's Emmett's turn to squeeze my hand before my fight. I stand up and walk towards the arena. Lara seems nervous and I have to make that an advantage.

"Start." Four says. I don't need to wait longer for Lara to come from me. It's so predictable. That's what any Erudite would do. I low myself, and use my elbow to hit her knees. She falls, hitting with her face on the ground, but she stands up right after that. I do as Emmett taught me – if I don't know what she's going to do, I run; if I know, I defend myself, because defense is the best way of attack. Lara manages to hit me in the head with her right fist, when I'm trying to run from her left one. That simple punch makes me fall with my back on the floor. I bite my lips so that I won't scream; my back is covered in cuts from my previous fall, when I hit a tree. I feel the taste of blood in my mouth, and I stretch my leg, making it hit hers, and consequently she falls. I jump over her, putting my knee over her stomach. She screams due to the unexpected pressure in such a sensitive part of her body. I use that moment to punch her in the mouth. "That's enough!" Four says, crossing Lara's name on the board.

Contradicted, I stand up, using my hand to clean the blood in my face but I manage to show her a smile – she's bleeding more than I am. Emmett comes to check my lip, but Four sends me to the hospital, saying that Lara will be in the first fight of the second row. I pass through Lucas in the hall, but I hide in the dark, not wanting him to see me like this. In the hospital they check on my back and I get a twenty minutes sermon because I should have came here before. Apparently my cuts started to infect, that's why they hurt so badly, but I'm still not paying attention when they explain me how danger that is. I just listen to the nurse saying that I should come here every night for three days to put some medicine on my back. I nod and run back to the training room.

When I get there Liz is fighting Ethan, and I feel sorry for her, but she's a better fighter than I am, and far more intelligent than Ethan if we think of a practical point of view and not a cheater-searching-for-power point of view. I look at the board. Lara won with Andrew. This means I'm left with Emmett. I look at him. He looks relaxed and the sad expression he had before is almost gone. I wonder what goes on his mind.

Ethan wins by his physical strength and it's my turn again. "I surrender." Emmett says, as soon as Four says we can start. "What?! No, you can't do that!" I complain. Emmett ignores me. "You can say that I'm not brave enough to punch Is, but I don't care. I'm not fighting her, Four." "Only a brave person would say that, Emmett. But, that still makes her win." Four shrugs at the same time he turns to cross Emmett's name.

Ethan stands up to complain, but Four gives him a sheet of paper and a pencil and tells him to write the results of the combats and then deliver it on the control room, then he leaves, with the same concerned look he had when he got inside, at exactly eight o'clock in the morning.

Emmett offers me his hand but I don't take it. "I'm not going anywhere with you. That's not fair, what you did." Emmett rolls his eyes. "Is, most people would be happy if this happened to them, why can't you just let it go?" "Because I'm not most people." I answer without thinking; apparently I actually got to learn something back at Candor. "And that's why I would only do it for you." He winks. "Now let's go, I'm starving." I squint, suspicious. What happened for him not to be sad anymore? I put my hand on his and let him drive me to the dining room.

Everyone goes to Pit to wait for their families, but neither me nor Emmett are expecting visitors, so we just go directly to the dorm. But not before we pass by the hospital and take an icepack and a few antibiotics for Emmett. He says he'll take it after dinner. The nurse also tells me not to forget to go there again tonight, which basically screws me up because Emmett starts asking questions. I end up by telling him what really happened while he was been shot by dozens of paintball bullets.

"Why didn't you tell me that before?!" He asks, offended. "It was nothing." I say, wanting to shrug to make it sound more convincing, but I've tried that before and making the cuts in my back scrape my shirt is something I would prefer to avoid. "It's all part of the game." "No it's not!" He contrasts as I make him lay on the bed, shirtless, so that I can put some ice on his face, chest and back – one at the time. When almost all of the ice is melted already he insists that he should put in on my lip too, so I lean against our pillows and let him do it.

We remain in silence as he softly touches me in the face with the icepack. When the ice is melted he puts the icepack – now full of water – in the other bed and passes his fingertips through my face, as if he was trying to memorize how every part of it feels like. I close my eyes and let the burning warm my whole body, starting by my right hand, which is laced on his left one, and on my face, where he's slowly caring me with his fingertips. After a while he has his thumb on my lips, and he's moving it from the right to the left. I open my eyes, alert and curious. He's smiling. My heart skips a beat and then races – I'm afraid he might hear it in this silence.

"Would you like to go to the Pit?" I ask him, feeling my lips moving against his thumb. He stands up, pulling from me, and then put his arms around me to keep me steady. "I need to put my sneakers on." I say, blushing. He laughs, but let's me go after he's sure I won't fall. I take some minutes to put my sneakers on, but once I'm ready I lace my hand on his and get out of the dorm, turning the lights off before we cross the door.

The walk until the Pit is short, and when we get there we barely recognize it. It's full of people dressed with different colors. Our eyes immediately look for a combination of black and white clothes. We find some, from older transfers, both parents visiting their children, as the opposite. But when our eyes meet the last person we expected to see today - the person that from all the ones that could've come was the only one that was _supposedly _forbidden to do it - we both let our hands go of each other's and I feel the pain in my chest.

She looks down, to the floor, and she's too quiet. Both unusual actions in her. I wonder if things are changing in Candor too. Her blonde hair flies when she moves her head and her brown eyes meet us. I almost forgot how beautiful she is. After a brief moment of hesitation when I look to Emmett and he nods, we run to her. Emmett shakes his head confused as we run but he takes her on his arms as soon as we get to her. I wait for him to put her back on her feet to show how surprised I am for the fact that she came. For that fact that she was _the one_ to come.

"Kate?"

**A/N: Hi! So I was feeling that Is was losing her Candor perspective, and we didn't want that, did we? So this is my try to get it back, in many ways. What do you think? Some reviews would be more than welcome, and thank you so much for reading (: **H


	11. Chapter Eleven - The Fear of Lost

**Chapter Eleven – The Fear of Lost**

My mouth is slightly open after I say her name – I still can't believe she's here. She shows me her tongue. "When I saw you up there I thought you were different, you know, as you're dressed in black and have all those tattoos, but, no. You still the exact same, Isabelle." She shakes her head as if she was disappointed. "Can't you just give me a hug?" She asks as she opens her arms to me. I immediately put my arms around the only person I have ever hugged before I changed factions. I see Emmett concerned when he sees my pain expression, as she puts pressure on my back. So I simply laugh back, not because she's right, but because she has no idea how much I changed since I came here. And how much her brother changed as well.

"Now tell me what you're doing here!" I say, as I let her go. "Isn't it your Visitor's Day too?" She sighs again and looks down. Even though I'm not Candor anymore I still recognize the sign – it means a lie is coming. But then she looks up again, which confuses me. She's probably just tired. "Well, who did you expect to visit me on Candor?" She asks.

"I don't know, I guess some boy." I shrug, pretending the pain in my back doesn't exist. Kate used to have a lot of guys wanting to date her. She actually kissed a few, but she said she didn't really like them so she never had anything serious.

"Well, good that you mention guys." She says; her brown eyes showing excitement. "I think you have a boy interested in you!" I feel myself blush and strain not to exchange a look with Emmett. "What are you talking about?" I say, too fast – another sign that means I'm lying, or not completely telling the truth. Weirdly, she doesn't notice it, as she doesn't say anything – so not typical of Kate. She puts her arm around me, and makes me turn around on my feet. "Blonde guy, Dauntless parents, a sister, eleven o'clock." I laugh, Lara used to pair me with every cute guy back in school, so I'm used to this. I follow her directions and I'm surprised to find Owen. I have to admit that it fascinates me how he can keep his look steady, as he just got caught. He even smiles at us. "He's been staring at us since you two got here! And he's really cute!" She smiles back at him and turns me around again, to look at her. In the exact moment she lets me go I feel another hand in my back. Emmett. He's discreetly pulling me closer to him.

"We're _just_ friends." I say, making sure both Emmett and Kate understand me. "He's probably delighted by how pretty you are." The last thing I want is Kate to make her brother believe that Owen is in love with me, or worse, that I might like him back. Best thing to do is change subject. "And you still didn't tell me how you got here!" I insist. She sighs for the third time – which is starting to annoy me -, and then explains everything too fast, just like I did. Is it possible that Kate is trying to _lie_? _Or really lying?_ She never did it before, why would she do it now? If they find that out back in Candor she won't pass her initiation.

"Well, the baby is born and mom couldn't come. Plus dad works during the week, so he decided to stay with mom and the baby; so I decided to ask for a special authorization to come here, as I see my parents every day. And they let me." She makes a pause to breathe. "See, it's as simple as that." She shrugs as she says this, but my eyes catch something else behind her. A male tall figure running in the dark corridor that leads to the train station. Why is Four sneaking out when he's allowed to go out whenever he wants?

I noticed that both Emmett and Kate are staring at me, waiting for me to say something. I totally forgot what we were talking about and it's a surprise when I feel Emmett's hand in my back, but then I remember why he put it there. "C'mon let's make you a guided tour." I say, trying to follow Four. Emmett stops me. "Hmm, I don't think we can do that, Is." "Why not?" ask, pretty sure he didn't see Four. Why is he stopping me? But before he can answer Kate interrupts him and squints, looking at Emmett, then at me and then back at Emmett.

"_Is?!_" I feel myself blush – she thinks it's a special name Emmett gave me. "That's what everyone calls me here. It's like a nickname. Isabelle is too Candor." "I disagree. Isabelle sounds like a legend's name." Emmett says and I feel myself blush - again -, so I smile to hide it. I never thought being with someone that knew both me and Emmett before we changed factions would make me blush this much. Kate immediately starts a discussion of how names have nothing to do with factions, but people insist that it does, which makes us stay in the Pit for the next forty minutes. All of the chances I had to follow Four are gone by now, but I keep my eyes opened anyway.

After their discussion the visitors from other factions have to leave, though the ones from Dauntless can stay, as it's their own faction. But as Owen and Lauren's parents left already, they join us while we're helping Kate climbing towards the exit of the Dauntless headquarters. "Have you guys seen Four?" Lauren asks. "We need to calculate your classifications, but I haven't seen him a while." I look at Emmett to see if he actually saw something, but he's shaking his head. I follow his example, trying not to compromise Four. Meanwhile I notice that Owen and Kate are talking a lot as he helps her climbing. I move faster to catch up with them.

"So you're saying that getting a serum that doesn't aloud you to lie is worse than being beaten by your friends during a week?" She nods. "You have no idea of the humiliation it causes to you if you tell all your secrets to everyone in your faction." "Well, at least it's not painful, is it?" "No it's not." Emmett says, cutting him off. He obviously still has problems with Owen. Making sure Kate isn't staring at us I take Emmett's hand, to calm him down. His sister is old enough to flirt if she wants to. He looks back at me, sort of mad and I roll my eyes. "Well, this is it." Owen says. Kate thanks him and then turns to hug us. "We'll see each other again, won't we?" She looks at us expectant and I don't know what to say. I can't promise Kate I'll be able to visit her and neither can Emmett. "Of course." For the surprise of us all is Owen who answers. I think Kate is going to cry when she hears Owen's words, but fortunately Lauren saves us. "Sorry to interrupt my show-off brother but you have to go. I'll walk you outside to see if there's any sign of Four."

I want to go with Lauren, but I can't tell her my reasons, so I let them leave the headquarters. I'm then left with the tension between Emmett and Owen. "I think it's time for you to take your medicine." I say, as I turn to Emmett, feeling bad by nearly ignoring Owen. "Medicine?" He asks, confused. I look at him, suspicious. "Yeah… The pills we got for you in the hospital…" He's eyes illuminate and I know he remembered. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry. I didn't see all of this coming and I think I'm a little off now." He pulls me closer to him. "But you're right, we should go." "You're coming Owen?" I ask, before Emmett can drag me with him. He immediately stops pulling me and let go of my hand. I sigh. It's been a long day and I don't have patience to deal with "jealous Emmett" right now. "I'll walk you to the Pit, and then I think I'm going to look for Maeve."

The walk until the Pit is made in a mortal silence, but once Owen leaves us Emmett starts talking. "What do you think she's hiding?" He asks, concerned. "I don't know." I say, shaking my head. "I just hope whatever it is, she's not hiding it from people back at Candor too. If we can tell, they can tell even if she's quiet." We enter the dorm and see that everyone but Ethan and Lara is there already. They look at us, but don't make that big of a deal. Emmett takes his pills and our pajamas and drives us to the man's bathroom. Once we get there he takes the pills with the water from the sink and then starts changing to his "pajama" which is basically some black shorts.

"You're not going to change?" He asks when he's done, offering me my pajamas. I panic – I can't change clothes in front of him! "Hmm- No, I'm good." I say, failing on my try to keep a monotone tone of voice. Emmett bites his lips, but I can see a smile. "Do you want me to turn around?" He asks. "Yeah, right, because you don't even have a mirror behind you or anything." I laugh. "Alright. Bad move." He puts my pajamas in a dry sink. "I'll go outside then, so that you can change." He turns to the door, but I stop him, taking his hand. This little touch sets a new fire in my veins, as if spending the whole noon hiding the fact that I _need_ his touch, was far too painful. We stand still for a while and I try to deal with this unrecognizable and stronger fire. That's when I notice his red eyes – he's trying to contain his tears.

"Emmett…" And that's when he breaks into tears; not caring if I'm watching and not caring that someone might come in and see him. "I missed her so much. All of them." He says. "And the baby… I'm a horrible person. How could I leave my family when the baby was about to be born? Worse. How can I be okay with it? How is it that I don't regret choosing Dauntless?" I've never seen Emmett like this and I don't know what to do, so I take his hand and drive him to the hall, because that's where I feel safe – when I'm surrounded by the darkness. "Shh..." I say, as I lean against his chest and lace my hand on his hair. "It'll all be over soon and then you can visit them. I promise." He puts his fingers in my chin to make me look up, and I find his eyes looking into mine.

"Promise you'll come with me." He demands. I pinch my lips at first. I don't want to go back – that place scares me. But how can I say no to him when he's in such a fragile mood? And will I be able to break my promise then? I don't think I will, but I still say it. "I promise." He presses me against his chest, making the temperature of the fire inside me rise. He cries for a while, and I try to comfort him but I'm not really good at it, so I just make pressure against his chest and even kiss him in the neck sometimes, which I find very brave of me.

He finally stops crying. "Sorry for losing control, I-" I don't know why but that's when I remember Four. I press my lips against his neck one last time and then I let go of him. He stares at me as I run across the hall. "Go to bed. I'll be there when you wake up. I need to go to the hospital!" I look at him for a second, memorizing his blue eyes, as I've never seen – as this was the first time I saw him crying – before I get lost in the dark. But I'm not running towards the hospital, I'm running towards the Pit. If Four hasn't arrived yet he'll have to pass through there to get to wherever his room his – how come I never asked him that before?!

I think about quitting my waiting at least three times, but I convince myself that the fact that anyone hasn't seen Four all day is a little odd, plus he's been acting weird since Eric became one of the headmasters. I just hope he's not getting himself into trouble. I try to deny it, but my thoughts insist on running to the fact that Four might have left the faction.

"I am wondering what you pajamas is doing on the man's bathroom." I jump and turn around. Four has my pajamas on his left hand and has another hand around his gun. He's eyes are focused on the floor and even his voice sounded weird – sort of sad actually.

"I am wondering where have you been all day." I say as I take my pajamas from his hand. "Remind me when that became your business." He's turning around on his feet and walking towards the corridor that leads to the hospital. I take his arm to stop him and he tries to hit me, but I luckily see his punch coming and step backward. "Four!" I say. "What's going on?!" "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" I step backward again when he shouts at me and I'm starting to think about running when he walks towards me. When he sees I keep on stepping backward as he moves forward he raises his hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He seems calm so I stop walking and let him get closer.

"What is this about Four? Is it about Eric?" He laughs. "What, he convinced you that the world goes around him too?" "Four…" I say, demanding for a real answer and not bad sarcasm. He looks down and takes a deep breath before he speaks. "I received an encrypted message yesterday, telling me to meet someone in the train." I interrupt him. "And you went?! What were you thinking? Just because you're Dauntless doesn't mean you have to be suicidal! You could've died!" I stop when I see the look on his face. "I'm alive in case you haven't noticed yet." He says. I nod, and let him continue. "And so I went… and…" "And?" "And my mom was there." I don't get it. What is wrong with that? Shouldn't he be happy? "I thought she was dead. But then she shows up years after her funeral! It's so selfish of her!" He punches the wall and I grab his arm when he tries to punch it for the second time. Unexpectedly he hugs me.

Trying to make Four feel better is worse than trying to make Emmett feel better. First Emmett didn't get violent, and being with Four like this is just weird and sort of uncomfortable. But Four is better on hiding his feelings that Emmett is, so it easily passes by, though I feel terrible for not being able to help him. "Sorry." He says, giving the conversation a full stop, so that I know he doesn't want to keep talking about it. "You were going to the hospital right?" I nod and he walks me there. He stops at the door. "Next time you want to make out in the man's bathroom, make sure you don't leave any proof behind." I reach to hit him but he's already three long steps away. I feel myself blush when I think that I wish that I was guilty of what he was accusing me of, so I go in the hospital, trying to let it go.

The nurse takes about fifteen minutes to put the medicine in my back and I need to wait another ten minutes for it to dry. When I finally go back to the dorm it's about two in the morning. I put my pajamas on as fast as I can and then I look at my bed and then at Emmett's bed, trying to decide which one should I chose. Emmett looks cute turned to the side and with his arm standing stretched below his head. Emmett's bed seems the best choice to me. I lie by his side and put my head over his arm. "How did you even consider choosing your bed?" He says, as he puts his left arm around my waist and pulls me closer. "What are you doing awake?" I ask. "Couldn't sleep." I feel him shrugging. "Not feeling better?" I fear his answer. "Nah. I'm fine now. Thanks to you." He pulls me even closer to him. "Sleep now." He says. I close my eyes and let his warm body warm mine.

I'm far too gone to be sure he actually said something, but I remember this words when I wake up the next morning "I am still awake because was reminding myself you were the reason I chose Dauntless."

**A/N: I know, I know. Late and depressing chapter. I'm sorry for this. Don't even strain to give me reviews, I'm not worth it this time.**


	12. Chapter Twelve - The First Times

**Chapter Twelve – The First Times**

It's hard to be calm as I look at my empty tray in the morning. Emmett's words from last night – the ones I'm not sure he said – are still resounding in my head. Like really resounding; I know I won't forget them – ever. "_I am still awake because I was reminding myself you were the reason I chose Dauntless." _And suddenly it's like everything made sense: why he didn't feel guilty, why he trained me at night and even why he kissed me in the neck that time he was acting without thinking. But all I can tell for sure is that I feel weird and I don't know how to act about it.

"Is, are you coming?" Emmett asks. "Huh? What? Where?" He raises his eyebrows but answers me anyway. "We were going to buy some new clothes, since Four said we won't need to use sports clothes in phase two anymore, and then pass by the dorm to change." I look at Liz and Lucas, they're both waiting for me as well. "Yeah, sure." I stand up and follow them.

"Have you seen Andrew today?" Liz asks as we look for clothes in the girls section. Emmett and Lucas are in the boy's section, two small corridors away. "No, why?" She shrugs. "I heard Ethan saying Four called him this morning, but apparently no one as seen him since then." Even though Andrew's disappearance is a little odd, I don't waste too much time thinking about it. I focus on choosing some clothes to myself, and strain not to think about Emmett.

Half an hour later it's almost eight in the morning and we're running to the dorm – Four told us to meet him there. I used my points to buy a pair of black tight jeans, a top, two t-shirts and a jacket. Emmett bought two pairs of jeans and some sneakers. He said the ones he had are still full of paintball ink. Lucas didn't buy anything and it's hard to tell exactly what Liz bought because it's basically the whole store. Her exact words were: "A girl needs to be ready for any occasion she's confronted with."

When we pass through the dorm's door it's like the temperature went down ten degrees and there's a lot of shouting. "Now that they're here can you explain me why is he in first place?!" Ethan shouts to Four at the same time he points to Emmett. We all stop walking and look around trying to understand what is happening. Emmett places his hands on my shoulders and makes me turn to the blackboard, which has now words written on it. I read them:

**Phase One – Classifications:**

**Emmett**

**Ethan**

**Liz**

**Lucas**

**Lara**

**Is**

**Andrew**

I freeze – that's why Andrew is gone! And I was so close to him, it could've been me. Emmett cares me in the arm, to calm me down, but I just can't. If Emmett didn't let me win, I would've been the one to leave.

"SO?!" Ethan shouts, making us all jump. "He lost with her!" This time he points to me! Four laughs. "Well, recognizing our own weaknesses is worth something. But, in the opposite way, _cheating_ is not." Four explains. "In case you didn't notice, Capture the Flag was a part of phase one." Ethan tries to shout back, but Four has already turned around and is walking towards the door. "Now if you don't mind following me, we are late for phase two."

I, Emmett, Liz and Lucas immediately drop our shopping bags on our beds and follow Four, not caring if we were going to change clothes or not. Andrew is factionless now, and it's like we needed that to happen for us to realize the same can happen to any of us.

First of all Four drives us to the Pit where we meet the Dauntless-born initiates. Apparently they're joining us from now on. No one talks though I nod to Owen and then to Maeve – I know some of the others but we don't really talk so I don't bother nodding to them, though I notice that two of them are gone – they're now factionless, just like Andrew.

In silence, Four drives us through a dark corridor I've only been that time Emmett carried me on his arms. I immediately stop myself from thinking about Emmett. I need to focus if I don't want to be the next one to become factionless. Lauren is waiting for us next to a closed door. "It's all ready." She says as she waves to us and leaves. Four enters the room after he tells us to sit down. I sit with Emmett by my side and Owen and Maeve in front of us, leaning against the opposite wall.

A few minutes later Four calls one of the Dauntless-born initiates. It's a short girl, though not shorter than me. She looks pale and trembles a little. I wonder if this time the transfers are not the only ones that aren't ready for this phase. "What do you know about phase two?" I ask Owen and Maeve once Four closes the door. "Not more than you." Owen answers immediately. "Just that it's supposed to prepare us emotionally. I'm not sure what that means though." We all stay quiet and I notice that Ethan is whispering something to Lara and that every once in a while they look at Emmett and laugh. They're preparing something. I know it.

"How come only one of us became factionless when there were more two of you? We can't all have had better qualifications than the other two." Emmett breaks the silence with his weird but truthful question. I haven't thought of that. Maeve shrugs, and again, Owen answers immediately. "Well, only four of you could've left, or four of us, or a mix but always four. But has you were seven, only one you could come out. Then two of us are out and now we are seven just like you were. By the end of this phase we should be the same number of Dauntless-born initiates and transfers, which means two of us leave and only one of you does the same." I feel my surprise expression taking over my face. How does he know these things? He sees my face and smiles. "My sister had to learn all of this."

I want to ask more questions but I remain quiet, this is not the appropriated place. About twenty minutes later Four opens the door and calls another name. "Emmett." I feel as if a cold hole was left in my body when Emmett stands up. My heart speeds and I fear for him. I know he's afraid too because he doesn't look back to let me wish him good luck. I pinch my lips once Four closes the door again. "Where is she? She didn't left!" I hear Maeve whispering. "We don't know this hall, maybe there's another way out of that room." Owen says, trying to calm Maeve down. She's obviously too nervous.

For the surprise of us all, not ten minutes later Four opens the door and calls another name –another Dauntless-born initiate. This time is a boy, and if I'm not mistaken is the same one that was on my team the night we played Capture the Flag. I don't bother listening to his name as Four calls him, and I don't bother trying to remember it when the door is closed behind him. Emmett hasn't come out, just like the girl before him and I'm starting to panic. Where are they? Better still, where is _my _Emmett? I don't think I'll make it to the mysterious room if I'm not sure he's okay.

Four keeps on calling names and I notice that he's calling us from the order of our classifications. I don't know how long it has been seen Emmett was there, but so far he was the faster. Peter, who went right after him, took about forty minutes. And Lucas managed to take even longer; he was there for longer than an hour. Four opens the door – Lara was there for twenty seven minutes. "Maeve." He calls. She glances at me and Owen and then stands up. Once she enters the room and Four closes the door I'm left with Owen. He's going to be the last one, as they're seven and we're six.

"How come you got the first place and Emmett got the last one?! Well, after the guy who left…" Owen asks, as if he couldn't believe it. It remembers me that I've seen this expression before, but there's something different and that's why I can remember the last time. "Hmm, what?" "Four has been calling us by the order of our classifications. First he called the lowest one, and from there on. I'm in the first place, and apparently, so are you." I haven't thought about it, but I guess I should've thought it was a little odd that Owen were in last place just like me – Four used inverted orders to call the Dauntless-born initiates and the transfers. "I'm in last place." I say, making things clear. "Emmett had the highest classification." A jealous look rushes trough Owen's eyes. "I bet I could beat him."

I want to tell him I bet he could too, because Emmett would never try to beat him for fun, but Four opens the door and calls my name. I block for a moment. Maeve was even faster than Emmett! Four calls my name again and I stand up, fearing for what I might find in the room and fearing for Emmett. _Where is he?_

Again, I freeze when I come in the room. It's illuminated and it looks like a sophisticated version of the testing room. It doesn't have mirrors, and there are more computers this time, so I'm guessing Four won't use them just to enter the results. "Sit down." I sit in the dentist's chair, as I call it, but I'm trembling a little. Last time – also the only time – I was in a simulation, it didn't end up well. And Emmett… _Why can't I stop thinking about him? _

"Am I going into a simulation?" I ask, trying to make the minutes before he puts me asleep as longer as I can. "Sort of." Four answers, then I sit and see he's holding a syringe. I feel my palms sweaty as I look at the syringe. He smiles. "It won't hurt that much."

"Why can't I just drink again?" If there's something I inherited from my mom is the fact that I hate hospitals and everything that has to do with it. I think the fact that I avoided it, even when my back was in great pain, proved it.

"It's a different type of simulation. The serum contains a transmitter that will send data to the computer. I'll be connected to the computer and watch what's going on your mind. I can only watch but I can't control anything." He presses the plunger. It hurts, but everything is been hurting me since I got here, so physical pain has become a constant in my life.

"The serum will start its effect in sixty seconds. In addition to containing the transmitter, the serum stimulates the amygdale, which is the part of the brain involved in processing negative emotions, like fear. Then it induces a hallucination into a simulated image that I can see in my mind, using wires like the ones you used on the faction test. I will then forward the recording to Dauntless headmasters. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down, which means lower your heart race and control your breathing." I start feeling my heartbeat racing – definitely not a good thing, thinking about what I'm supposed to do next - and I know the sixty seconds are almost gone. "Emmett?" I ask, finally. "He did fine." Four assures me. "Though the first time is always the hardest." He pauses and I close my eyes. "Good luck." I hear before I go into the simulation.

_I open my eyes I'm back in Candor. My old house – my old living room. It looks the same. The TV is standing in the same place, just like the sofa and the table. I look at the clock. It's past 7pm; my parents should be here already. I go into the kitchen to see if mom is making dinner but the kitchen is empty. I start to panic and I shout. "MOM?! DAD?!" I wait. No one answers me. I get out of the kitchen and run up stairs. I search every room and there's no one in my house. I scream again, but this time I'm not calling my parents. "EMMETT!" I shout his name over and over again, as I run down stairs and go out._

_I stop once I'm in the street. I feel my heart pounding against my ribs, but I don't care. Why is the street empty? The Candor's streets are never empty at this time of the day. Actually the only time their empty is when everyone is at school or at work, and even then, only the suburbs – where I and everyone else, classified as not important, lives – are empty. But not now. Now, even the suburbs are full of young people, enjoying their lives and making as much noise as possible. "EMMETT!" I feel myself scream again, though I don't move. I'm starting to lose my strength and I let myself fall to the ground. I scream his name and cry and wish for all of this to be over._

"_Isabelle?" A little girl touches my shoulder and I feel my heartbeat starting to low. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I look at the little girl as my heart slowly calms down and I'm surprised to see a brunette girl, curly hair, short. I could've mistaken her for me, she looks exactly as I was when I was her age; the only difference is that she has my mom's green eyes. I feel a deep urge to cry._

Everything goes out and I'm in the room with Four again. He looks at me scared, and I know something is wrong. But I'm crying, so I don't bother asking. Instead, I shout Emmett's name again. Four reaches for me and I cringe myself in the chair. He stares at me for a while. "Is… I'm going to take you somewhere okay? I need…" But I don't hear any other word. I'm crying so hard and my strength is far too gone. I close my eyes and seconds later I feel myself pass out.

I wake up and I'm looking at a white room with a white ceiling. The lights are on, but I don't know where I am. I sit down, leaning against the pillows of a single bed. In the wall in from me I see three words. "FEAR GOD ALONE." They're written in capitals.

"Is? May I?" Emmett is at the door, looking at me. He's worried and I wonder how fragile I must look. When I see him I start crying again. He steps in and sits on the bed by my side. "No. Don't cry, Is." I ignore him. "I don't fit anywhere do I? Afraid of being left alone! Who would be afraid of this?!" I look at the tattoos in my wrists and I start to scratch them as if I could take them back. I don't deserve them. Emmett grabs my wrists and I look up to him. "Stop!" But it's like my brain doesn't understand his word and I try to release my wrists.

He lets one of my wrists go, and I try to release the other one, but he's too strong. Then he places his hand on my waist and moves forward to me. I stop fighting him, out of breath. His eyes are locked in mine as he moves forward. And he only stops when our lips meet. He kisses me softly, but I don't kiss him back. I want to. I've been wanting this for so long, but I can't react now. I never kissed anyone before, I don't know what to do; plus I'm confused after the simulation.

He moves backward and stares at me. Slowly I feel my strength come back. A fire burns inside me, a fire cause by the touch of his lips on mine. I thought I recognize the fire from his touch but I'd never felt this before and it makes me even more confuse. He looks down. "Is, if-" But I don't let him finish. The fire becomes bigger inside of me with the sound of his voice, and I'm not controlling myself when I lace my hands on his hair and pull him to me. I press my lips against his and he presses his against mine. We move in tune and it scares me how connected we are – we've always been. I quickly stay out of breath and he moves back to let me breathe, though only a few centimeters away. He's examining my face.

"It's not your fault, Is. What happened to your sister, it was before you were born. They shouldn't blame on you." I freeze. Before I was born? Sister? I shake my head. "Emmett, I'm the only child my parents ever had." I state. His eyes open too much and he sits on the bed again, instead of sort of lying over me. For a moment I'm delighted by his beauty, but I can't forget what he just said. "You don't – you don't know?" I see a conflict on his head as he looks at me, carefully. He has something to tell me, so I just wait. I can see he's in pure pain inside, and I want to pull him to me and kiss him again. But I know that won't release the pain, so I just wait for him to tell me. "Is, you had an older sister. She d-died a year before you were born, when she was three years old. She was –" He takes a deep breath. "murdered." "Murdered?!" I nearly scream. "Shh!" Emmett says, looking around, but obviously there's no one in the room. "I'm not sure about that, but that's what my mom told me and Kate. That there was a funeral, but the coffin was empty. Her body was never found. One day she was there, in the next day she was gone."

I thought I had felt the worst pain in my life already, but it's nothing compared to this. I'm not this type of suicidal girl, but if I could end my life now, I would. Thinking that my parents don't like me because I remember then of my murdered sister, and they never told me a word about her! I feel the tears rushing through my cheeks and I don't try to stop them. All I want to stop is the pain.

I pull Emmett to me again and I kiss him. I let my hands explore his hair, his back, his arms and his chest, while my lips explore his lips, his cheeks, his neck, his shoulder… Emmett is shyer, but he explores me too. I feel his hand in my back, in my waist and in my hair. And when I'm not kissing him, his kissing me in the neck, in the shoulder, in the hands… And that's all we do. We don't talk, we just kiss – for hours. And I forget the pain. I forget anything else and focus on his body leaning against mine – lying over me at first, then by my side, and when I'm starting to fall asleep, my head his leaning against his chest, so he's sort of below me. No one comes to look for us or to bring us food, and we don't mind. And even if someone does during the night, I'm far too gone to notice it – exhausted from all the feelings and pain I've been through today.

But there's no pain like the one I feel when I wake up the next morning and the bed is empty – Emmett is gone.

**A/N: Hey! I sort of can't go anywhere because I injured my foot during PE lesson (and it was raining!), and well, I'll just be bored for more three days – at least that's what the doctor told me. So some reviews would be great, huh? :D What do you think of Isabelle's changes since the first chapter? Oh, and from the guest who asked, OF COURSE there'll be more chapters. I am nothing without my writing. **


	13. Chapter Thirteen - Danger

**Chapter Thirteen – Danger**

I stand up to leave the room. I don't want to be here when it brings me so many memories from yesterday. Where is Emmett? I don't need to ask myself why he left – deep inside I know the answer. He only kissed me because I was down. I feel the tears in my eyes as I put my hand on the door's handle, but it opens by itself, making me jump, and for a brief moment I hope it's Emmett on the other side. But, of course, it's not. It's Four. Only now I realize this is his bedroom.

He stares at me for a while, but doesn't say a word. "I'm fine." I lie. "That's why you don't fit Candor." He says and I wait. "Is, we need to talk." I sigh. I knew something was wrong yesterday, by the look on his face when I finished my simulation; but I was sort of trying to avoid talking about it. I know that if we do talk, he'll make sure to tell me I don't belong to this faction either.

I nod and we sit on the bed. "How long do you think you were there?" Four asked, which sounded odd, why does that matter? "I don't know." I shrug. "I wasn't exactly worried to look at the clock." Four ignores my bad sarcasm and answers his own question. "Twelve minutes." I have to say, I'm surprised that twelve minutes changed everything. Four was right – the first time is always the worst. The first time I was in that simulation, I cried like I've never cried before. The first time I kissed Emmett and tried to show how much I love him, I'm left with pain. For a nanosecond my mind drives me through thoughts that make me think that there is no "worst pain" like I thought when I woke up this morning. The pain we're feeling in the moment is always the worst. That's how life works.

"Is, you still here?" Four asks, as I haven't said anything. "Yeah." He looks right into my eyes, and I know he's going to say what he was waiting to tell me all along. "What was your fear about?" He asks. "Why was the little girl there?" I ignore the second question, and answer the first one. "I was afraid of… being left alone. I don't know. It's stupid." I feel like crying again, and I forbid myself from doing it. It's time to play Isabelle – nothing can get to me.

"And the girl?" I shrug. "I don't know. She just showed up, and she calmed me down. I wasn't alone anymore." Four thinks about it for a while. "Do you that girl?" I immediately shake my head. Emmett told me who she is, but I don't know her. I never did, and I never will. "Then why was she there?" At that time I'm starting to get a little pissed off. How am I supposed to know? Wasn't he the one to put me into the simulation? But, for some reason, I think he knows the answer to his question and he just wants me to say it. I shake my head – I have no idea why did she show up in there. He stares at me, eyes locked in mine, and then he whispers to me. "_Because you're Divergent._"

I freeze. How does he know? What's going to happen now? "Only someone like you could change the simulation, because you are aware that any of that is real while you're in it." Now that he mentions it, I remember wishing for _all of that_ to be over, I just didn't know what, but I knew it was possible. But then again, I wished for Emmett, why was my sister the one to show up? "Is. This is dangerous. You know that right? I saw the look on your face when I told you." I nod. "Look, I'm not telling anyone, okay? But you have to promise me you'll never do it again. You can't okay. _Not in phase two_. Just make it through this phase and you'll be fine, alright?" "But-" I say, not knowing how to express myself. How can I control something I didn't know I could do? "No buts. You heard what happened when someone is known to be Divergent. I don't want that to happen to you, and I'm sure neither of your friends does too." I notice in the way he says friends, like if he was giving me a tip. Does he know about Emmett? Did he make the same mistake as me? Emmett seemed fine with his simulation, though he didn't talk about it. Maybe I was too selfish to notice it.

I nod and Four stands up – our conversation finished with he's warning. "You can use the bathroom to get a shower; I'll tell Maeve to bring you some clothes. Just don't be late, that would cause more problems." "More?" I ask. "What happened?" He shrugs. "Ethan tried to beat Emmett this morning, to prove he deserved to be in the first place." I feel anger growing inside me. "Calm down! I stopped him once I realized what he was trying to do. Emmett took a few punches, but he's fine. Whatever you told him, made him too confuse to fight back." Confused? "He knows it wasn't worth it. Emmett's too kind." I stand for him. Four smiles. "Yeah, sure." He turns to the door, but I stop him. "Four? In phase two… I'll have to… You know, go through the same scene all over again?" Four turns to a serious look, that scares me, but his words calm me down. "Unless that's the only fear you have, no, not today." Then he shows me his tongue and winks at me, which makes me feel much better. He knows about the heights and the knives. I'll be fine in today, at least in what comes to simulations.

After taking my shower I and Maeve got to the dark hall right on time. Emmett was sitting right next to Lucas and didn't even look at me when I got there. I tried to see how much damage Ethan caused to him, but it was dark, and he wasn't looking at me… I wanted to leave and go cry somewhere where no one could see me, but instead I sat on the ground, and decided I would keep the tears inside for now – still playing Isabelle.

Most of us took less time today, though some took more time. I'm guessing today was their bad simulation day. Mine was easy – heights. I took my time to convince myself I had to jump, just like in the Choosing Ceremony day. In fact, I pretended it was just like that day – I pretended Emmett would be down there waiting for me, to catch me from the net and put his arm around my waist, showing everyone I was his. The hardest part today was to wake up, actually. I took eight minutes, and for those eight minutes I wasn't thinking about Emmett's rejection. I thought about that word after Four told me "Good job, Is" and sent the data to the Dauntless headmasters. That word crashed me, and once I crossed the door, I ran from there and found a dark place to cry. I didn't know what was going on with me, all I knew is that I wouldn't last longer without feeling Emmett's arms around me and his lips pressed against mine.

By the time I convinced myself to stand up, and face people, lunch time had passed for a couple hours, so I went to the first place I thought about – the tattoos' store. I think I was hoping to find Owen there, but instead I found Ethan. He was cleaning, so I guessed Four put him in detention. He faced me, as if he was waiting for me to make fun of him, but I didn't. All I wanted was to punch him for Emmett, but then, what for really? For someone who didn't even look at me this morning?

As I didn't say a word, Ethan felt free to make fun of me. "Thought you lost your mute mode! I have to say, even I missed it!" "Do you want extra hours?" Tori asked, when she saw he was making fun of me. He lowered his head and kept cleaning. I made my third tattoo – the Candor symbol. This time, not because I owed it, but because I learned how powerful the truth is. I decided to put it on my right arm, right next to the Erudite symbol, because I thought those two faction are sort of alike. Looking for knowledge is somehow the same as looking for the truth, and vice-versa. Besides, I hate both.

Now I'm back in some dark hall. My arm hurts from the tattoo, but I don't care. I look at the tattoos, I have an eye and scales on my right arm (I can't see the scales because of the bandage, but I know they're there), and fire on my right and stronger arm. For some weird reason, this special fire – the Dauntless symbol – doesn't remind me of my fear, it simply reminds me of the faction I chose - of home.

I'm not crying, actually, I'm trying to remember which hall is this. I think I've been here once. And I think I was in a big group. Maybe my first day, maybe this is near the jumping entrance. I don't really know, but I hear some noise that my brain doesn't process, and a lot of people pass through here. But as I'm sitting on the ground, on the middle of two blue lights, in a point that there's no light, so no one can see me.

I don't have a wrist watch, so I stand up when I think it's about dinner time – I haven't eaten today, and I think I should. I hear steps at the end of the hall, and I think about hiding again in the dark when someone calls me. "Is! There you are!" Owen is running towards me, he looks smiley, but when he looks at my expression he stops smiling. "You okay?" He asks. I strain to give him a smile, obviously failing, but I don't want to feel guilty for taking his smile back. "Yeah, I'm good." He doesn't insist. "Would you like to do something dangerous?" He says, with a tricky smile on his face. And I see why I was hoping to find Owen at the tattoo's store. "How is that even a question?" I ask, giving him a tricky smile as well. And I really mean it. Maybe I'm being stupid, but I feel like danger is the only thing capable of taking me out of my melancholic state.

The rest of the group meets us, and I see it's mostly composed by older members – including Lauren. "You coming or not? We don't have all day to wait for you, show-off." They start arguing as they walk and I follow them, not really paying attention to their fight. I'm surprise to see that we're near the train, but then I remember I heard a lot of noise before and now I see why. But what mostly surprises me is that we're going out of the Dauntless headquarters. I ask Owen why isn't Maeve with him, and he says she doesn't like to go out of the Dauntless headquarters that much. His exact words were: she's too homely.

We take a train that leads us to a part of the city I've never been. It's empty, even from factionless people, and it's mostly made from old buildings. We get in an antique garage and I smile when I see what we're driving – motorcycles.

Owen drives me to a sophisticated dark one. "This one is mine. What do you think?" I don't have time to answer because Lauren approaches to us. "I think you mean _ours._" She laughs, and lends me a red helmet. "Thanks." I say. "And I thought you were going on your boyfriend's bike." Owen says, mad with his sister. She turns red. "He's not my boyfriend." And then she leaves us, to join a handsome olive skinned boy.

Owen sits on his bike and then put his black helmet on. "What are you waiting for?" He asks, laughing at my expression. "Come on, I don't bite." I put my helmet on as well, and climb to the bike, putting my arms around his waist. He turns the bike on and I can almost see the smile on his face. "Hold tight." He makes a pause, so that he can be sure I'm _holding tight. _"Ready?" He shouts when the first bikes start to leave the garage. "Ready!" I say, and he speeds up.

I've never been on a bike before – the closest I was to a vehicle was when I went to school by bus, and it can't be compared to this. Riding a motorcycle is like flying. It goes so fast you can't really feel the road below you. I ask Owen to trade with me, and let me drive. We pull off, change places, and once I have the wheel on my hands and I speed up, I feel free. I think that's another of the reasons I chose Dauntless, there's no way I would feel such adrenaline in any of the other factions. Dauntless might be full of show-offs, but it's for sure the best of all the five factions.

At some point, it starts raining, and Owen tells me to pull off. I don't want to, but I do as he says. "Let's wait for the rain to pass, or at least become less strong." I nod, not really understanding the point. We're getting all wheat from the rain, when we could be driving back to the garage. "It's funny you know? This is the first time we're really alone, just the two of us." I look at him, but don't say word, wondering where this conversation is leading us. He laughs, but like a nervous laugh. "There's something I always wanted to do." And then he moves closer to kiss me. I know he's going to kiss me, and I don't stop him. I think I'm expecting to feel what I felt when Emmett kissed me. And when Owen presses his lips against mine, and I press mine against his, all I'm thinking is: How romantic, a kiss in the rain.

Eventually I pull back, because it's not right. I know I did wrong, for even letting him, but I wished for having strong arms around me, and soft lips pressed against mine all day. But these aren't soft lips – not for me – and even though his arms are strong, they're not the type of holding tight but shyly arms, like Emmett's. He looks down, but then he faces me again, with a smile. "At least, I tried." He says. He's not mad, or anything. "I'm sorry." I say, and I really mean it, because what is there not to like in Owen? But I don't. Maybe there's something wrong with me, I don't know. He keeps smiling, and cares me in the cheek. "It's okay, Is. You love Emmett. I just thought, you know, you two never showed signs of being dating, even though you love each other, and I thought that maybe you just didn't want to ruin such a strong friendship." He pauses, and I think about his words. _You love each other. _And all I want to now is come back home and tell that to Emmett. We love each other, we do. And we should be together. "Or… you know, you could just pretend you like me, and make me happy." Owen says, waking me up. I laugh and softly push him. "Let's just get in the bike Owen."

We spent the whole night out, and it's almost time to "phase two" when we get to the Dauntless headquarters. I run to the dorms to get dry clothes, change, and then run to the dining hall to get something to eat. I take a muffin and walk as fast as can towards the simulation room, as I eat my muffin. Owen meets me in the way there, with two muffins on one hand, and a third one half eaten. I roll my eyes to him – "_boys"._

Of course the first person I look for when I get to the dark corridor is Emmett, but he's coming in the simulation room when I get there. He stops when he sees me, but then he looks at Owen and goes inside. I sigh. Why does it always have to be so complicated to show what we really feel?

I strain to be calm and patient as I wait for my turn, but thinking that I'm losing my time, just to go through fifteen minutes of pure panic makes everything harder. Somehow I manage to wait three hours without trying to crash the door. Today's simulation only takes two and half minutes. I'm more concerned with facing Emmett that the whole simulation looks like bad cartoons to me. Of course Four gives me a silent sermon saying that being too fast is a sign of Divergence. But I don't really care; I just say Emmett's name, he rolls his eyes and I leave the room.

Once I'm out I start to panic. What now? It's like I know exactly what to do, but thinking about actually doing it… Well, I'm not sure if I can do it. I take a deep breath and walk towards the dining hall. It's lunch time, so it's what I'm supposed to do, right? I find Maeve there, sitting on an empty table. She looks lonely, so I take my tray and some food and sit with her – Emmett is not there yet. I feel nervous by having my back turned to the door – now if Emmett comes in, I won't see him -, but I don't say a word. Maeve smiles. "So, did you like riding?" I smile too. "It was awesome!" We don't have time to say more as Owen show up behind me and hugs me from behind, pulling me back to the ground, but never letting me fall.

"Owen!" I say, feeling sort of uncomfortable for having him touching me like that after yesterday, but I know it was just a joke. Probably, if Maeve was in my place and I was on hers, she would have been the victim. "Don't ever do that again!" He laughs, along with Maeve. "Wow. You really made her mad!" Maeve says, laughing. "Oh, that's not what she's mad about. It was just one kiss, Is!" Maeve opens her mouth, ready to some gossip. "Wait, what?" But I don't join them. Emmett places his full tray on an empty table – with too much strength, causing a huge noise – and leaves the hall, nearly running. _Damn, he heard Owen._

I stand up immediately, and run after him. Luckily I can see him at the end of the dark hall. "Emmett, wait! It's not what you think." I'm not running, but I'm still walking towards him. "It's not? Let me see, what I'm thinking is, you kissed me, the next day you kiss Owen. Who are you going to kiss today, Four?" I freeze, and I feel tears in my eyes. But I hold them inside for a few more seconds, until I can't do it anymore. "Is that- Is that what you really think of me?" I'm losing my strength like when I passed out, but I'm pretty sure I won't pass out now. I'm just breaking apart. I heard stories of what love can do to a person, but I never thought it would be like this. I hear steps, or maybe I'm just imagining them – I can't see anything with the tears in my eyes. But, no, I didn't imagine it. I feel Emmett's arms in around me, and I pull him closer, leaning against his chest. Now I see: the love stories are real. No matter how many times someone you love hurts you; you'll still want them by your side.

He pulls me closer to him too. "Shh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry." And he just keeps on saying I'm sorry until I calm down. I try not to think of his words, and I wonder how we look for someone that passes through the dark corridor. I'm sitting on the ground with Emmett arms and legs around me, and crying against his chest. And now I remember when was the last time I saw Owen's "I can't believe it" expression. It was that time I was crying on Emmett's arms, when Eric threw a knife at me. Emmett said something like "_you took your time too… you know"_ and now I see what Emmett thought, and I feel embarrassed for it. He thought I'd been with Emmett, together… in an intimate way.

"I was stupid." Emmett wakes me up. "I'm sorry. I've been acting stupid. It's just that, while I watched you sleep that night, I thought- I though you only kissed me because you were feeling down. It's stupid, I'm sorry. I don't know how I could even think that. But today I realized you would never do that, until…" "Until you heard Owen saying what he said." He nods. "I'm sorry." I shake my head. "Don't be. I let him kiss me. Maybe I'm exactly what you think." My eyes are locked on a blue light, in the opposite side of the hall. He puts his fingers under my chin, and makes me look up to him. "You're not." And then he presses his lips against mine, and I can finally say I'm okay.

More than that, I am happy. I know dating Emmett is dangerous, both for me and for him. We're Divergent and we're inconstant because of our skill possession. But when I chose Dauntless that's what I was applying for, wasn't it? For danger. Getting into a relationship at this age is something I never thought I would do, and I don't know how to do it. And maybe it's not just one, so far I have experienced so many and different types of relationships, some good and some bad. But I've been managing to keep things right at the end of the day. And well, I'm Dauntless, dating Emmett is just another challenge. A challenge I want to never end, and the best challenge I'll ever take.

And now, looking back, _maybe I do belong here. _

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews and PM's from the last chapter :') And here is the next one! Some reviews would be great! **

**Best, Is. **


	14. Chapter Fourteen - Deaths

**A/N: Hi! As always I've been reading through the last couple chapters before I write the next one, and I'm so sorry for all the mistakes. Phrases that don't make sense, writing the wrong character's name, bad English… I'm really sorry. I promise I'll try to do better, but if I keep up with the mistakes don't go mad at me, I'm just tired. Okay, I'll let you enjoy your chapter now! (:**

**Chapter Fourteen – Deaths**

My kissing time with Emmett in the dark hall lasted for a shorter time than I thought it would last, unfortunately.

"Two nights! You missed your medicine for two nights!" The nurse that has been taking care of the wounds in my back pulls me by the arm, and not even the weird pose I and Emmett had assumed before, stopped her. I take Emmett's hand and drag him with us. He gives me a silent sermon as we walk, and I roll my eyes to him. It's true that he doesn't know it, but it was his fault that I wasn't in the mood to go to the hospital, after all.

In the Dauntless hospital the nurse tells me that I must be a lucky girl because my wounds are getting better even without the medicine. She also tells me that according to my "healing power" I won't have to come back again tomorrow night. I feel like singing. No hospital, more Emmett. I also feel myself blush after this thought and I'm glad I didn't say it out loud.

"What were you thinking?!" Emmett says, as we get out of the hospital and enter one of my favorite places – a dark hall. Now it's not just a place where I feel safe, it's a place where I know I can kiss Emmett. I wonder how the nurse found us in such darkness. "You had luck, but what if you didn't?" He asks. "What if I have a heart attack? What if some meteorite causes the extinction of the human species?" I ask back, rolling my eyes. He stops me by putting his hands on my shoulders and making me look in his eyes. "It's not funny, Is. You have to take care of yourself. Promise me!" _This boy is making me promise too many things… _"I promise," I say. He looks down, sort of embarrassed. "I'm not ready to lose you."

I didn't see that one coming, and I'm a little stupefied when I get on my toes to kiss him. "And you won't have to." I say, feeling my lips moving against his. We breathe the same air for a few seconds as he makes a decision. "Do you know what time is it?" I shake my head – as always, I'm not using a watch. It's a little odd that Emmett is not wearing his either: back in Candor, he never forgot to put it on. "There's something I need to show you, but I need it to be when the dorm is empty." I nod, curious, though I don't say a word. He takes my hand. "Meanwhile I would like to show you something else – a place."

He drives me to the Pit and starts climbing towards the wooden bridges near the roof made of glass, the only exterior source of light in the Dauntless headquarters. "What are you doing?" I ask, wondering if he's expecting me to follow him. He laughs. "C'mon. I won't let you fall." "Oh, yeah, because I forgot you can sustain me using the power of the mind." I say, refusing to climb. He rolls his eyes to me, but he gets down. "Go first," he says. "What?!" "Then, _in case_ you're nearly falling, I'll be right there to hold you." I bite my lip, trying to decide what to do. He takes my hand and puts it on the rock. "Don't you trust me?" He whispers, placing his chin on my shoulder. All of sudden, I panic, not knowing what to do – _why did I even think I was able to date someone, especially when that someone is Emmett? Me, the girl who was afraid of physical contact with everyone but Kate when I first got here!_ I start climbing, momentarily forgetting I'm afraid of heights.

It takes about half an hour for us to get to one of the wooden bridges; although I bet Emmett would take far less time if it wasn't for me. It's empty, and even though I'm trembling, he takes me to the center of it, so that we can sit there. I hate the fact that my feet are hanging instead of being firmly based on the ground. Emmett puts his arm around my waist to keep me steady – which now makes me feel like I'm on fire, instead of only feeling that special fire in a specific zone where our "skins" touch, like I did before.

"Look." He says, pointing to the chasm, and caring me in the arm with his left hand – the one which arm is around my waist. I do as he says, fighting against my fear of looking down, which is part of being afraid of heights for those who don't know it. I take my time to understand what he's showing me, but once I'm caught on its beauty I stop trembling and I let my head rest against his neck. It's wonderful how he still has that sweet but male smell when so much as changed, though somehow, that makes me smile. I focus on the water. As it crashes the rocks, the water splashes in little drops, making it look like there's rainbow down there when the light coming from the window-roof over us meets the drops. "It's beautiful." I say, still smiling.

We start climbing down when we see that the Dauntless members are starting to walk towards the dining hall. It takes even more time than climbing up and Emmett is more careful as he helps me down – he knows I have more chances to fall now that I can't see where I'm supposed to put my feet on. Luckily we're done without injuries, if we don't count on the callus in my hands. We run to the dorm, afraid someone might be on an "eating-as-fast-as-you-can" mood. Once we get there I sit on my bed as Emmett goes look for something under his bed. Two minutes later he is sitting on my bed too, caring a few sheets of an old newspaper.

"Hmm…" He starts, trying to deal with the words. "I- I don't want to hurt you- but- hum… I thought- I thought you deserved to see this." He looks sort of sad and hurt. My brain starts working immediately and I know what he's going to show me when he lends me the newspaper – my sister.

First of all, I look at the pictures, and I see her – I see the girl in my simulation. A taller and prettiest version of what I was when I was her age. I take a brief second to be sad about it, but I know I can't get stuck on it again, so I move on. Some pieces of the text are highlighted and I know Emmett did it, as it was done too carefully. The first sheet said:

"_March, 20 (…) Last night, a three year old girl was given as missing. (…) Her parents said they left her in the kinder garden in the morning, and when they went there to get her she wasn't there."_

Then there was one, from three days later:

"_March, 23 (…) There are still no signs of the missing girl, Emily Moore. This is a rare case and the police are doing everything to find her."_

And finally, in small letters, in the bottom of the last sheet of a newspaper:

" _April, 12 (…) Emily Moore (…) was buried yesterday, at the City's cemetery."_

"I checked everything, and they never said anything about finding her body or about an investigation. They just said she was buried. Like…" "Shh." I say. Emmett was talking to fast, as if he thought he owed me an explanation. He takes the sheets of my hands and places them on the bed. Then he moves, making me lie turned to the door, and he lies too, sort of behind me, with his arms around me. The sheets are somewhere near my knees, forgotten for now.

"Are you going to cry?" He asks. «I want to», is my first thought, but I know I can't. I know I can't let it haunt me. "No." I say, determined. But he knows what I'm thinking, as he always does. He kissed me in the neck, softly, making me smile – it's been a while since the last and only time he has done that. I look back to him, and he presses his lips on mine. I lace my fingers from my left hand on his hair to pull him closer, fully aware of his hands on my stomach, also pulling me closer to him. He moves his left hand, and puts it on my neck, to keep my head steady and closer to his.

"How interesting!" I and Emmett jump when Ethan interrupts us. He's holding the sheets, and I'm a hundred percent sure he read them before he gave signs of being in the room. Emmett stands up immediately and tries to get the newspaper back, but Ethan hides it behind his back. "A dead sister… and the mute can kiss! That's news to me!" "Give me that, Ethan!" Emmett shouts. Ethan shakes his finger, saying he won't. "Your time will come, Boyfriend. I'm sure we can talk about your slutty sister." This time I don't wait for Emmett to react. Without noticing it, I had stand up as well, and punched Ethan in the exact moment Emmett screamed "DON'T EVER SAY A WORD ABOUT MY FAMILY AGAIN, YOU COWARD!"

It all happened to fast. Ethan dropped the sheets as he came to punch me, I squatted to get away from him and get the newspapers. Ethan ended up by punching the hair. Four and the others – including Maeve and Owen – came in as Emmett made Ethan fall to the ground by pushing him from the back. Emmett shouted "JUST TRY!" to Ethan, as I held hands with him and we left the dorm, just to enter the man's bathroom a few doors away. Owen and Maeve came inside right after us and none said a word about the fact that there are two girls in the wrong bathroom.

"Four wants to talk to you two." Maeve says, casually. Then she turns to me, smiling. "Did it feel good?" It was childish, but we all laughed. "That's my girl." Emmett said, as he kissed me in the forehead. Both Owen and Maeve looked surprised for a second, but then they smiled and I felt good. I admit it; I spend the day – well the part of the day I want to remember – afraid of how was going to act in public, I mean, when I'm around Emmett; especially in front of Owen. But Emmett made things so simple, by showing we're together without making me uncomfortable or forcing anything. It felt right – mostly because I realize, I can finally say it out loud: _my Emmett._

Surprisingly, Four smiled when he entered the bathroom last night. Of course he glance at all of us, including Maeve and Owen, but I was expecting a sermon about my Divergence when he said he wanted to give me a word alone. I couldn't be more mistaken: all he did was congratulating me for finally started dating Emmett – of course Ethan didn't lost his chance to tell everyone what he found me and Emmett doing. But to tell the truth, it was easier this way, although I was a little scared with the huge smiles everyone gave us this morning. Four also said today would be our last day of simulations and that he will introduce us to phase three tomorrow. So now, as I'm walking towards dark corridor and I eat my chocolate muffin, with my brown curly hair caught up on a pony tail, I feel nervous.

"So you're saying that from all the simulations we've been through only two will count?" Emmett takes a piece of my muffin as he talks to Owen. "Yeah. I think they'll choose our best one, and our last one, which means, the one we'll do today. Then they'll calculate the average of the two values and add our classifications from phase one." Emmett takes a moment of silence to think about his words. "But will this simulation be a new one, or will they repeat one we've been through before so that we can do our best?" Owen shrugs. "Well, I'm not an expert in these things, but from my sixteen years in this faction I think I can tell you they won't make things easy for you." We all laugh, and I notice I almost forgot Maeve was there – she's too quiet, and I wonder if it's just because she's nervous as well. I mean, she's the fastest of us all – I have no doubts in there –, so why would she be nervous? Maybe, it's as Owen said, they won't make things easy for us today.

Emmett tries to steal the last piece of my muffin before we sit, but I put it in my mouth before he can do it. "Hey!" He says, and I show him my tongue. He sits leaning against the wall, and I sit between his legs, my back leaning against his chest, just like we did on the train when we were coming back from the capture the flag game. He whispers stuff like "You think you're too good, don't you?" and tickles me, as we wait for Four to call our names. I have to strain to laugh in silence.

"Maeve." Lauren calls. We all freeze – they changed the order for today, which means they can call either me, Emmett or Owen anytime from now on. I take Emmett's arm on my hands and I look at his black wrist watch. I don't know what Maeve sees but she gets pale when she looks inside the room. I start counting the minutes once Four closes the door. It takes exactly six minutes and four seconds for Four to open the door again.

"Is." I tremble a little as I stand up. Emmett squeezes my hand and I wish him good luck. I walk towards the door, and I feel sweaty on my neck as all I hear is my steps on the cement floor. I get to the door and Four puts his hand on my arm – a fast move, to wish me luck and to warn me I can't be _too fast_ – and that's when I see what Maeve also saw, and I feel myself getting paler as well.

I could swear even Eric's piercings were staring at me while I sat in the dentist's chair. Lauren was preparing the syringe and Four was connecting the electrodes to himself, and then to Eric; he still has two on his hands so I assume Lauren will be watching my simulation as well. I want to ask Four if it's going to be a new simulation today, but I dry swallow and let Lauren insert the syringe on a special place on my neck. Four gives Lauren her electrodes and glances at me right before I knock out – _Hang on. It ends today. You can do it. _And then I'm gone.

_I open my eyes and I'm in the training room – the shooting one. I look around to see what I have to do. The big target it's prepared, which means knives. I sigh. It's not that hard. It's as Emmett said, I'm the shooter and not the target. But then, why is my heart beating so fast? Something's wrong, I can feel it. But I walk towards the table, anyways, to get the knives. That's when I notice there are no knives for me to throw. I look around. Nothing. Zero knives. _

_Without thinking, I run to the door, but it opens by itself. I step backwards as Ethan, Lara and Eric come in. All of them have knives in their hands and they're walking towards me. I keep on stepping backwards, until eventually I hit the target behind me. The three smile at the same time, which I find a little odd. And I think that's somewhere when my brain starts working, even if my pounding heart nearly stops me from doing it. "Wasn't Eric in the simulation room? How is here, already? Wait… This is a simulation!" _

_I hold my breath as I force myself to believe in my brain – even in a simulation, I'm not sure I can't die. But that's when I remember Four's words: "In addition to containing the transmitter, the serum stimulates the amygdale, which is the part of the brain involved in processing negative emotions, like fear. Then it induces a hallucination into a simulated image that I can see in my mind, using wires like the ones you used on the faction test. I will then forward the recording to Dauntless headmasters. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down, which means lower your heart race and control your breathing."_

_I close my eyes, and I focus on my breath, trying to calm my heart down. I'm fully aware of the other's presence, and by others I mean the simulated-Ethan, simulated-Lara and simulated-Eric, and even more aware of the knives on their hands, but this time, I'm not letting either Ethan or Eric, the pleasure of scaring me. I wonder what the real-Eric must be thinking right now, and I almost laugh._

Everything goes black and when I open my eyes, I immediately look at Four. He nods – I did fine. "Eight minutes and thirty-three seconds." Eric says, holding some sheets of paper on his hands. "For what I see here, you got _worst._ Probably you were lucky yesterday." I can hear an acute tone on his voice, and I know he's just trying to put me down. But I could also see Four and Lauren laughing at each other behind him, so I ask if I can leave. They say I can and I leave through the back door.

I know I'm not allowed to go back to the dark corridor where the others are, so I just wait for Emmett there. I think about looking for Maeve, but I've been selfish to Emmett, by not asking him how hard it has been for him so far, so I wait. As the time passes I get a little nervous, but I might be over reacting. As I don't have a clock, I don't know how long it has been since I got out.

I walk the whole corridor three times before I hear a door being opened behind me. Surprisingly, it's Emmett who comes out of the simulation room. I run to him, and he takes me on his arms, pressing me against his chest. He's crying. "I- I-…" I put my hands on his cheeks and I make him look into my eyes, which I find quite hard, as he's holding me as close as he cans. "Shh. Calm down. It's over now." I say, cleaning the tears on his eyes. "I'm here." He hides his face on my hair as he calms down, before he tries to tell me what happened again. "I was handcuffed, and I had to see you getting shot to death, and then it was Kate's turn, and I knew my family was coming next. And it was so hard to force myself to calm down during Kate's death, but I did it." He was crying again, and I pulled him closer to me. As always, Emmett is selfless. Of course he doesn't fear his own death, but he fears for the ones he loves.

"We're fine. I'm here. No one is death. Shh." I repeated this over and over again until he calmed down, which was about the time Owen got out of the room. From the four of us, he was the one that took more time, and surprisingly he seems to be the one that deals with the simulations better. Emmett holds my hand, but I'm still concerned, so I squeeze it to make sure he's fine. He squeezes back – he can handle it from now on.

Owen sees us and comes to meet us. "Where's Maeve?" I'm ready to answer that I don't know when she appears at the end of the hall with some sandwiches on a plastic bag. "I almost thought you'd all die in there!" She says, making fun us. "Well, not all of us can have a super fast heart control." Owen replies, as he fights with Maeve for the plastic bag. She wins and takes a sandwich for herself and then passes it to me. I take one as well, with a rushed "thank you" and I share it with Emmett. Owen immediately steals the plastic bag from us and attacks the only sandwich left – Maeve was probably counting on me and Emmett sharing. They keep fighting over the empty bag and I decide it's time to have a talk with Emmett. Plus, none of us is feeling like laughing right now. "We'll see you at dinner." I say. "What? You're losing the fight?" Owen asks. I laugh – not a forced laugh, but they still understand we really need to go. Maeve uses the chance to take Owen the bag and we leave.

I take us to the only place I can think about – the wooden bridge Emmett showed me yesterday. He looks surprised when I start climbing, but he still keeps close, making sure I won't fall due to my uncontrolled trembling. Once we get to the wooden bridge we sit on the center of it, just like we did yesterday and take a few minutes to watch the water down in the chasm.

"Why are we here?" Emmett asks, putting my fringe behind my ear. "Because this was the only place I could remember where no one will be able to hear us." "And why can't anyone hear us?" I look up. His blue eyes are fully focused on me. I know I blush a little but it's not time to care about that. "Emmett, tell about your faction test." He freezes for a second before he answers me. "That was some time ago. Forget what happened that day." He says. "What if I can't? What if- What if I'm like you?" His eyes open too much, like when he's shocked and he stutters a little as he talks. "You're-? That's why-? No. You can't be. It's not- It's not possible." But I nod, and he sighs. A sad sigh, a painful sigh. It hurts him to know I'm Divergent just like it hurts me to let him know like this. Just like it hurt me when I found out about him; I remember that need of protection I felt over him the moment I realized it. "Divergent?" He doesn't say it, he simply moves his lips and I read them. I know he wants me to deny it now, but I can't. I nod again. For a long moment he doesn't say a word, as he processes what I just told him, but then, unexpectedly, he moves forward to kiss me. Like a real kiss – an intense kiss. It scared me actually, as if he was afraid it would be our last, but it didn't stop me from kissing him back, because I know, it could. Someone could find out about one of us tomorrow, and believe me, we wouldn't last another day.

We don't say it, but we stand up and go down. He knows I told him what I had to, and staying here, far from everyone is only going to call attentions, so we leave. We leave with the promise that we won't talk about each other's Divergence to anyone – we'll protect each other, even if it cost our lives.

Four was wrong – for me, it goes farther than phase two. Being a Divergent is dangerous. Dating another Divergent is a suicide mission, and that's what I'm applying for. I'll die. I can feel it. But I'll fight.

**A/N: Did you like it? Review it! (And this is how you shouldn't do commercials! :D) I would be more than thankful to hear what you think about it, and just to state: EMMETT HAS A GIRLFRIEND!  
Best, Is. **


	15. Chapter Fifteen - Family

**Chapter Fifteen – Family**

I almost forgot about the classification from phase two until we saw Four coming out of the dorm as we walked towards there. Strangely, he pretends like he didn't see us – it can't be a good sign. I hold Emmett's hand. I know today's simulation was important and it was Emmett's worst simulation. He squeezes my hand. I don't really understand if it means it's okay, or if it means we need to be careful. I hold the door's handle and look up to Emmett – just to make sure. His blue eyes look at me for a brief second before he nods, making his dark hair fall to his forehead He shakes his head to put it to the side and I open the door.

The dorm is empty, so I'm guessing everyone is having dinner right now – weird that we didn't notice people going for dinner back when we were in the Pit. Well, I guess we were talking about more important stuff, like our Divergence. Even thinking about the words "_our_ _Divergence_" makes a chill pass through my spine. I'm only used to think about my own Divergence, now, more than ever, I need to be concerned with Emmett's as well.

Emmett actually has to drag me to the board because I freeze after I pass through the dorm. _What if I'm still in the last place? What if I'm the one who has to leave?_ So while he drags me there, which takes about ten seconds, all I'm thinking is: not me, please, not me. Not now that I'm finally dating Emmett. I look up when he stops and, guess what? It's not me! It's Lucas. I'm sorry for him, I really am, but I can't say I would prefer if it was me.

Suddenly I feel Emmett's arms around my waist and he kisses me in the forehead. "Congratulations!" He says, though he doesn't sound excited at all. I slowly move my eyes from the last place in the board to him – still not believing it is not my name in there. "What for?" I ask. He raises one of his eyes brows to see if I'm serious. I keep my waiting-for-you-to-explain expression, so he puts his fingers under my chin and turns my head to the board again, but this time, I'm looking at the first place. And there it is:

**Is**

My mouth opens with surprise. How is this even possible? Even if I was the faster in phase two, it can't have been good enough to compensate my classification in phase one. I look to the second place, and I see Emmett's name, as I was expecting, though it should have been in first place. No matter how long he took in today's simulation, I bet he wasn't the one to take longer, as both Lucas and Liz never took less than seventeen minutes, plus Emmett had very good timings in other simulations, so he shouldn't be on second place and I shouldn't be in the first place.

"We need to talk to Four." I say. "This can't be right." Emmett shakes his head. "It wasn't Four, Is. Can't you see that?" This time, I'm the one who to shake her head. What is he talking about? "Think. Who else was in the simulation room today?" I don't need to strain to know what he is talking about. "Eric." He nods. "That's right. Eric put you in first place." "But why?" I keep on shaking my head. "Why would he do that?" I start trembling even before he answers – I have an idea of what he is going to say. "He knows something. But he's not sure yet." He doesn't say what the something is, but it's implicit on his tone of voice – a scared murmur. "How can you tell he is not sure yet?" Emmett closes his eyes, as if it was painful for him to tell me. "Because he's Erudite. If he was sure, you would be death by now." For my own surprise, I stop trembling when he says that. I don't remember if Owen or Maeve had told me that already, but I think that for some reason I always knew, and that's why I've always hated Eric – because he's an Erudite like Ethan - well, if we don't count on the fact that he's a total idiot as well. But maybe a smart idiot.

Emmett wakes me up from my own thoughts. "The best thing we can do now it's pretend everything's normal. Just until after dinner. Then we will talk with someone, but not Four." I look into his eyes, asking for an explanation. "What if we wait in the bed?" He says, with a smile – even though we first kissed in the dark hall that leads to the dining hall, the bed has always been special, it's sort of that place we were never afraid to say we needed each other.

I let him take me to the bed, and he does that train thing, making me lie with my back against his chest as he sits against the pillows. He cares me in the arm for a few minutes before he asks what I know he's been waiting to ask. "Where have you been with Owen when he kissed you? You were out of the headquarters, weren't you?" It surprises me that he talks about the kiss without freaking out. I mean, he's not fully relaxed, but he's not worried either, like he really knows it didn't mean anything to me. I feel like kissing him in that exact moment – I never realized how much he trusts me – but I force myself to control and answer him. I mean, anyone can come in any second, and we're in his bed…

I tell him everything since Owen asked me to go out with him and his sister and her friends, taking more time to describe the bikes and the feeling of riding and rushing through the kissing part. He's a good listener – for the whole time I'm talking he doesn't say a word, though he does make some expressions every now and then.

"So you're saying that they go riding when they feel like it?" "Huh-huh." I say, telling him he understood. "And you think Owen can help us out of the headquarters and at the same time borrow us a bike?" I stand up to look at him. "Emmett, I don't think-" "You promised." He says. "And I won't let it get you in trouble." I shake my head. What?! "So you're not thinking about running?" He almost laughs. "Nope. I just want to visit my family." I freeze. Visiting his family also means visiting my family, as we're neighbors. He makes me turn again and lie, his arms holding me tight. "You can stay—if you want…" I sigh. He can't do it without me. I know his trying to convince himself he can do it on his own – for me – but he can't. Plus, I did promise.

"I want to." I say. "I have some things I would like to tell my parents. Like why on earth they never told me I have a sister!" I tremble a little as I remember my simulation. Emmett looks at me, surprised and I think I scared him. "Is-", but the others start arriving and it stops him from complaining. I turn off our bed lamps, and close my eyes. If he wants to talk to Owen during the night, I need a nap now. I feel him caring me in the arms, then playing with my air, and when I eventually fall asleep his fingers are entertained on my stomach.

Emmett wakes me up a couple of hours later. "I don't know how you didn't wake up when Ethan started to shout names and threats at Four, once he saw that he's in third place." He whispers and laughs, as we leave the room. I ignore him. "How do you expect us to find Owen now? He's probably asleep…" "He's not." Emmett shrugs. "I've been planning on talking to him for while, and I told him after they called your name. He and Maeve are waiting for us in the chasm." "What do you mean by «in the chasm»?" I ask, not really liking the plan. "Yeah… we'll have to go down there. If we're planning an escape we can't let anyone hear us and I- huh-" "Yes?" Even in the dark, I can see he's blushing. "I didn't want them to know we use hide up in the wooden bridges." I laugh, even though the thought of having to meet Owen and Maeve down in the chasm still concerns me.

But once we get there, it doesn't seem so bad. Owen and Maeve were there already, waiting for us and ready to prepare our escape. I was surprised that Maeve was there, after what Owen told me, but she said she was going to be our back up in case we took longer than the others and didn't come back with Lauren's friends, so she wouldn't go out of the headquarters, and I stopped "being surprised". I didn't do much really. I nodded every once in a while, but I mostly listened to Owen, Emmett and Maeve discussing the best routs to take towards the suburbs of the Candor faction. Owen told us it'll happen tomorrow.

It was hard to pretend I wasn't going to break a rule tonight as we have breakfast in silence. Not even Maeve was in the spirit to talk. "Dauntless initiates and transfers, with me!" I'm surprised to see that it's Lauren who calls us. We all stand up and follow her. I wonder where Four is and why isn't he the one to introduce us to phase three. She leads us to another of the Dauntless halls I don't think I've ever been in, but that doesn't surprise me. What surprises me is the room we enter. It's like a waiting room with monitors. Right now the monitors only show us an empty room, but a second before I notice I was wrong. The room wasn't empty – Four is there preparing syringes, but before he was on a black spot of the camera. I freeze and I can tell Emmett's worried too, even though Maeve is standing between me and him – Emmett and Owen have been silently communicating to make sure everything's ready for later today.

"This room you're seeing is called fear landscape." Lauren says to call our attention. "I'm guessing Four told you what is the point of phase three, so I don't need to explain to you again." She makes a pause. "Here, you'll face _all _of your fears. It's a little different from phase two, and by this I mean, that in this room, you'll be conscious of the fact that you're in a simulation, therefore you'll be able to control what happens." Some people sighed from relief, but I didn't. I've been able to do that even in phase two and it didn't quite help me.

"Last year," Lauren continues "I was afraid of spiders, of suffocating, of walls that slowly contract to trap you inside, of incontrollable bleeding, of being expelled from the Dauntless faction, of my dad's death, of being crashed by a train, of being publicly humiliated and of being kidnapped by some men with no face." No one said a word. But I counted them – nine fears. I can't even think about going through that many fears. There was movement by my side as Emmett switched places with Maeve – it must be hard for Owen to see his sister tell everyone about her fears. "You'll probably have between ten and fifteen fears, it's the average number."

"But you got nine," Ethan says, apparently he did the math too "so what was the smallest number anyone has ever had?" Lauren tenses up a little before she answers. "As far as I know, four." I have to say, I'm surprised that someone had such a small number of fears. I wonder how many fears I have, but I have the feeling I won't find that out today. And my feeling is confirmed once Lauren speaks again. "But you won't know your number today. You'll go through my fear landscape to see how it works. Then, you'll have three days to prepare for your own fear landscape."

I was expecting the others to complain as they always do every time we're given news about phases, but this time, everyone kept quiet. This is the decisive phase. We all know it. As there's no more to say, Lauren starts distributing her fears. Starting by one of the Dauntless-born initiates until Liz, who's on the opposite side. As I'm somewhere in the middle of the end, I got the second fear – suffocation – the same a girl standing next to the first Dauntless-born initiate to know his fear got. Emmett got spiders; this is going to be easy for him.

We watched the first guy go inside as we sat on the chairs in the waiting room. There weren't enough chairs for all of us, so I sat on Emmett's lap, and Maeve sat on Owen's. Even this way Liz had to stand up, but I don't think she bothered. She seems distracted and her eyes are red. She has probably been crying because of Lucas. They really became friends here, but I guess now Lucas can have his girlfriend back, if he can find her.

It's weird to see the other initiates on their simulations, because we can see them moving on the monitors, but we can't see what they're seeing. The hardest one for me to watch so far was the second one, but that's probably because it's my fear too. "Owen, c'mon." Lauren said, as the guy before him got out. I didn't want to watch my friends, so I turned to Emmett while Owen and Maeve were inside. Once Maeve got out with the best timing of the day - as always -, she and Owen left to start working on our plan. I was left alone, and this time I had to look at the screen showing Emmett.

For my surprise, at first, he actually looked scared, and I wonder what the spiders were doing to him, but then, a minute later, out of nowhere, it was like he was holding a gun and shooting the spiders. On the heart beating monitor we saw his cardiac rhythm slowing down and Emmett woke up to the real world.

Lauren called my name as Emmett crossed the door. I was shaking a little when Emmett gave me a kiss in the forehead. He silently asked me if I wanted him to wait, but I shook my head – he's supposed to go get lunch for the four of us and then I'll meet them at an old laundry. I stepped into the room and pinched my lips as Four inserted the syringe on my neck.

_I wake up with some tissue around my neck. My hands are tied behind my back. I'm sitting on a chair, and I know there's someone behind me, making sure the rope is well tight. My heart beats to fast. Suffocation! How am I supposed to control my breathing if I'm being suffocated?!_

_Suddenly the hands are not tightening the rope anymore, they pulling the tissue and suffocating me. I want to scream but the tissue is blocking both my air and my voice, in or out. I'm trembling violently as I panic and I know I'm losing my strength. I'm going to die. «I'm sorry, Emmett», I think. And that's when I remember it: didn't Emmett have a gun?_

_A small knife appears in my hand, and whoever is pulling the tissue around my neck doesn't seem to notice it. I cut the knife, accidentally cutting wrist as well. It starts bleeding and it ashes, but I can't stop. I untie the rope, making sure the knife won't fall. I'm feeling myself pass out. This is it, I'm dead. But then, I'm not controlling myself anymore. I quit from the rope and stretch my arms to the back, stabbing the person behind me. The tension in my neck reduces and I feel the air coming in. Finally the rope drops to the floor and I take the tissue out of neck._

_There's an old man's body lying on the floor. Probably someone Lauren feared. My wrist is still bleeding, and I'm still breathing too fast. I have to give it a few tries before I manage to slow down my breath and my heart beat. Everything goes black, and I feel relief, as I fall to the ground. _

I open my eyes and I'm back on the fear landscape room – I think I'll never face this room as a simple computerized room anymore. I'm laying on the ground and Four helps me on my feet. My wrist is not bleeding, there are no marks on my neck or my wrists, but I still feel the tissue and the rope, killing me. "You okay?" Four asks. I don't answer. I simply leave the room, holding the wall. I need to find my friends. No one in the waiting room dares to look at me – they all know the feeling of being tortured, and the fact that it's all inside our heads makes it all worse.

My wrist ashes as I have my hand leaning against the wall, but I don't care, I keep walking. I take about twenty minutes to get to the hold laundry – four times the time I would take if I hadn't just been through one of the worst experiences of my life.

I open the laundry's door and I sit in the first chair I find. Emmett immediately rushed towards me. "I'm fine." I say in a weak voice. "I think I just added suffocation to my list of fears." "You look really bad." Maeve says, throwing a sandwich to Emmett, who takes a small piece of it for me to eat. "She's been worse." A chill passes through both of us, and I know what he's thinking about. "She can handle it. She's strong." Even though his words, Emmett sits on the floor next to me, until color comes back to my body. Owen and Maeve are turning some old black T-shirt white. Owen said he would come with us to Candor, so we need to make him some Candor clothes. I and Emmett have our old ones washing in the washing machine right now.

For two hours Emmett makes us all repeat the plan all over again, so our schedules were controlled. Then, we changed clothes, said good-bye to Maeve and met Lauren's friends on the train station. It was about dinner time so the train station was nearly empty except for the group who was going out. We had to let them see us, so Owen, accidentally-on-purpose interrupted Lauren and her boyfriend. "What do you want, show off?" She said, looking pissed off. "Keys." "You have them; you' were the last one to use our bike." "Oh yeah, that's right. I'm sorry." Owen was ready to turn around but Lauren stopped him. "We're not going biking. We're going zeppelin. What do you want the keys for?" I thought our plan was crashed, but Owen kept playing his role. "We're not? Oh man. I already told Emmett and Is I would take them biking and-" "Well, it's not my business if you're a show off. Tell them you'll go another day. You're almost done with your initiation. You can go on your own then." "But, sis-" A familiar voice speaks behind me. "I don't see any need for that." Four says. "I was feeling like zeppelin anyways." He shrugs. I'm ready to say something like: it's okay, we'll go another day. Have fun with your friends!, and rush out of there when Emmett speaks. "Thanks Four." I look up to him, with my what-the-hell-do-you-think-you're-doing look when we hear the train coming. We planned on getting in the next carriage from the one Lauren's friends would take, but what I wasn't counting on was that Four would follow us.

We all keep quiet at first, but Emmett makes me turn to him, and whispers in my ear. "Relax, Is. We're lucky Four offered and not Eric." Then he pulls me closer to him, to kiss me, as if had said something private. I feel my lips answering his kiss and imagine Owen and Four awkwardly looking away behind us. "But what about out plan? Don't you want to go to Candor?" My hand is still on his leg, and his arm is still around my waist, so if I'm sure about Owen and Four looking away, they both think we're still kissing – I don't dare to look. "Trust me." He says. And takes the chance to kiss me again.

We soon arrive to the Dauntless motorcycles-garage and we jump out of the train there. Four stops us once we get there. Before he says something he takes his bike keys out of his pocket and lends it to me. "I hope you know what you're doing." He says and turns around on his feet. "How?" I ask, before he can leave. "Four of my initiates meet in the chasm at two in the morning. I think it's natural that I think they're planning something." He walks away, but he speaks again before he disappears. "You have two hours." And then he's gone.

We don't need him to say it again – in part because he's gone. We all drop our black jackets on the floor, that we previously made sure to zip from our waist until our neck to make sure no one would see our white shirts, and rush toward the bikes (Owen tells us which one belongs to Four) and both I and Owen climb and turn the bikes on. I look at Emmett, he's still in the same place since Four left. "What are you waiting for?" I ask, wondering if he changed his mind. "You can't tell me you're driving that thing." Our plan was that Owen would take Emmett first and then he would come back to get us, but now that we have two bikes, I'm not wasting time. "Well, you can go on Owen's if you want." "And let you die without me? No way." He mumbles as he climbs to my bike and puts his arms around my waist. Unfortunately only Owen owns a helmet. He looks back to us, to see if we're ready. I nod. "Hold tight!" I scream to Emmett as we start driving.

In a question of minutes we're on the suburbs of the Candor faction. We hide our bikes on some bushes of someone's back yard and run towards our old street. Once we get there both me and Emmett stop running, making Owen pass through us. He stops running too, and comes back. "Guys, we're kind of on a rush here." He says. It's hard to be back, but he's right. This is where we separate. Emmett goes to his house and I go to mine. Owen said he's going with Emmett and I have a feeling I know why. When he first said that back in the Dauntless headquarters it made me smile, but I had to contain my smile because of Emmett's expression.

I walk towards my porch with both of them following me. "Is-" Emmett starts, but I cut him off. "I'm sure." I say. He's been asking me if I really wanted to do this since yesterday. He gives me a fast kiss and squeezes my hand before he and Owen disappear in the darkness. I turn to my door and take a deep breath before I knock.

I can't really tell you what happened after that. I remember my father opening the door and I entered my old house. That's when I started crying and screaming about my sister. And my mom screamed back. And my dad kept quiet. And I eventually left, pissed off and promising myself I would never go back. But then, before I was far enough, my dad caught up with me and he held me on his arms and I cried. He told me he was sorry and he told me that my mom could never let go of my sister's death. He told me that he tried for me, but I wouldn't let him in, like I wouldn't let anyone. But he didn't blame on him, he blamed on himself and he blamed on my mother. And I cried harder until I couldn't cry any longer. I told him I had to leave because Emmett was waiting for me. I think he smiled. He asked if I really loved him. I wondered how did he knew, but I said I did anyway. And so he said I should be ready and he said he was sorry one more time and then he left.

I am alone again and the last couple hours seem too confusing in my head. But I didn't forget my dad's warning, so I force stand up and walk towards Emmett's parents' house. He is sitting on the porch, along with Owen, as they wait for me. They both seem upset and worried, so I run to them to know what is going on. "Kate's gone. She became factionless." Emmett says, as he takes me on his arms. His eyes are red, and I know he had a tuff night as well. "How's the rest of the family?" I ask. "Little Jake is growing fast." Emmett's mouth is open, but he wasn't the one to speak. I turn around. "Kate!" She smiles. "You took ages to come!" And then she hugs me and Emmett. Owen stays sit on the porch, not exactly knowing what to do, which only shows he hasn't lived with Kate all his life. She makes him stand and gives him a hug too. Emmett looks away, ending up by looking at me with a mad look, and I roll my eyes to him. When we look back to Kate and Owen, both of their faces are red – which is a record, because Kate never blushes.

"Hmm, guys, I think we're a little late. Four is waiting for us." Emmett says, failing on his try to make Owen stay as far as possible from his sister. "You're going to the center?" Kate asks. "We have two bikes hidden; we can give you a ride if you need." Owen offers immediately. I smile. Even though he kissed me, there's always been this weird connection between him and Kate, and I know if it was Kate's choice, she would have kissed him already. Or maybe not; I've never seen her with someone she's interest on. But it's always hard to tell when it comes to Kate.

"Sure," she says. We walk back to our bikes and I pull Emmett away from Kate and Owen, knowing I'll pay for this later. But seeing Kate has made me much better and I want Emmett to tell me how things worked for him – according to him, apart from knowing about Kate's failure on her initiation, everything worked fine. His parents even gave him and Owen dinner. My stomach crawls when he talks about it and he laughs, pulling me to him and kissing me in the neck. He's happy and that makes the whole suffer I've been through worth it.

Lauren and Owen were on his bike already – he even lent her his helmet. We took our bike as well, and follow them. The riding was even better then my first time with Owen. This time I had my boyfriend with me, and my best friends were having fun with us. If Four and Maeve were here, this short riding would've been perfect.

Four is waiting for us in the garage. He doesn't say anything about us being late, and he's really nice with Kate, though he seemed quite sad, so I wonder where he was for the last couple hours. He lends us our jackets and we put them back, zipping them until our neck again. Kate walks us – or more like Owen – to the train station. We see that the last train just left so we have about fifteen minutes with her before we leave. I, Owen and Four give Emmett some time with his sister. I'm lying against the street electricity post and I friendly hit Owen in the shoulder. "Have you told her why you came?" He keeps his eyes locked in mine, as only Owen can do in an offensive situation. "Yeah, I think she liked the fact that I help my friends." I laugh. "I meant the real reason." And he finally looks down blushing. "I think you should, and fast." Kate and Emmett were coming back to us. She was telling him something and he was looking down, blushing and with a smile on his face. It isn't hard to guess what they were talking about – me. "And it works for you too!" She says when she gets near me. "What?" I say, pretending I have no idea what she's saying. "Next time you decide to start dating someone you must wait for me to see the first kiss! I mean, it's my best friend and my brother we're talking about. How can I have missed this?" We all laugh, even Four. "We all missed it." Owen complains, making me and Emmett blush. "Well, let's hope there won't be a next time." Emmett says, cutting them off. Four turns to the rail line. "Our train is coming." "Well, let me teach you something then." Kate says, and then, out of nowhere, she kisses Owen. His mouth opens when they pull back, and he whispers something to Kate that makes her blush. I smile. Owen and Kate really fit each other – these things are not that big of a deal for them, but this time they found something that really seems to mess with them, and they don't want to keep that to themselves.

"That's how you should let someone know that you're dating someone-" She shuts to look at Owen. "Or at least that you want to." She corrects. Then she gives me and Emmett a hug, making us promise we'll visit her when we can. "I always take that train at seven and half in the evening. You can't meet me there." She says good-bye to Four, and pulls Owen to give him one last kiss right on time, because our train is making the curve and leading here at all speed. I take Emmett's hand and jump to the train. Four waits for Owen, mumbling him to run faster, and they jump too, leaving Kate behind.

This time I don't sit with Emmett – he's too busy arguing with Owen about messing with all the girls he loves, but it's not that big of an argument, as the smiles on their faces refuse to be gone – so I'm sitting next to Four. And right now he's my friend Four and not my trainer, so I feel okay about asking him personal stuff. "Do you ever miss your family?" I ask. He takes a minute of silence before he answers. "I know it's rare. But no, I don't." I wonder how his family was. "I thought I was the only one." I say. He puts his arm around my shoulder and looks to the door right next to where Owen and Emmett are arguing. I follow his look and I see the other Dauntless members jumping inside. "That's why we built a new one, and I have to say, it's the best family we'll ever have." I smile and look at our family. Some guys are kicking each other for fun. Lauren and her boyfriend are, well, entertained. Four's friend, Zeke is taking care of his younger brother, Uriah and his friend, a girl named Marlene, who are hanging on the door's handles with half of their bodies outside the train. A girl, Shauna and her sister Lynn are arguing about something, as they always do. Most of them are from Four's initiate class, but next year, my class will join them, and from there on. Four is right, for us, who never felt like having a family before, we did find the best family we could've ever found.

**A/N: Hey! Thank you for the reviews from the last chapter, and oh you just had a new one! I felt sorry for Owen, so here it is! What do you think? It takes two minutes to review it and it would make me really happy, so please, be my guest :)**

**Best, Is.**


	16. Chapter Sixteen - My Fear Landscape

**Chapter Sixteen – My Fear Landscape**

Maeve is waiting for us when we jump out of the train. She rushes towards us once the mob moves away. She opens her mouth, probably to ask how things went when she notices Four. So instead she turns to Owen. "Why the smile?" We all break into laughing when she says that, except Owen. "None of your business." He says, provoking her.

Immediately they start pretending they're fighting. "This is when I leave the kids." Four says, and both Maeve and Owen stop laughing, trying to look offended. But Four doesn't make a big deal of their faces; instead, his expression turns serious. "Use your three days the best you can." I press my lips together as he walks away, suddenly conscious that we all should be preparing for our fear landscape.

"So? How did it go?" Maeve obviously isn't so concerned about it, now that she finally gets the chance to ask. "Well, basically our plans were ruined, therefore, everything went fine." Emmett says, pulling me to him. He yawns. "I think I could use some sleep now." I roll my eyes, but lace my fingers on his anyways.

Maeve and Owen walk us to the pit and we divide in two groups there, but Emmett doesn't take me to the dorm right the way. He leads us to the dining hall instead and I hear my stomach crawling again. Somehow Emmett knows exactly where to find enough stuff to make me a huge sandwich that I eat faster than I thought I could.

I'm sitting on a table, with my feet on the metal bench, when I finish eating. Emmett is standing in front of me, with one of his hands on my leg and another in my back. We kiss for a while, as if trying to get back the time we lost while preparing tonight's trip. "How bad was it?" Emmett asks. I can feel his lips moving near mine and we're breathing the same air when I answer him.

"It could have been worse." He presses his lips against mine as he passes his fingers up and down my back, causing me warm chills. "Tell me." He asks, sitting next to me on the metal table. I close my eyes and sigh, but I tell him. It's not hard because I leave my emotions away – I think it sort of scared Emmett when he saw I could speak so emotionless, but I don't mind. If he was to get away from me just because I'm some sort of mutt, that would've happened a long ago.

When I finally shut, Emmett simply hugs me and kisses me one more time before he takes me to bed. I know this might sound lame, and I'll probably never say it out loud, but I think it's in little moments like this that I understand how much I need him and why I love him so hard.

I wake up to the sound of my own screams the next morning, and I barely have time to calm down when a pillow hits my head. "DO THAT AGAIN AND I'LL THROW _YOU_ IN THE CHASM!" Emmett shouts to Ethan. "Tell your girlfriend to stop screaming then! I was sleeping!" Even though Ethan complains I know he got scared by his tone of voice. He knows that Emmett is usually calm, and the few times he got pissed of like this, Ethan always ended up in the hospital.

"You alright?" Emmett whispers to me, not allowing me to stand up. "Yeah. Tuff night, I had some nightmares." I dreamt about my sister, and it was quite a good dream until someone took her away from me. She was just a little girl, being pushed away from her family by strong hands. And whoever those hands belonged to, I would have to make them pay. I think that's somewhere when I started screaming with pain and frustration. But it was just a dream, that's all. I need to focus on what's really important – in two days from now, I'll be going through my fear landscape.

I don't know what happened with the clocks, but I swear it can't have been two days already. Between spending time with Emmett and discussing strategies for our fear landscape with Maeve, Owen and Emmett, it's today. Today we're all going to get to know our number, as Lauren said. The hardest part of these days – and actually the only time I remember I lost a few hours – was when we told each others about our own fears; or the ones we knew about so far, whatever.

I think some people might say it was a dumb action to tell other people about your fears, but we all trusted each others, plus the others had ideas of how to get through my fears. Of course we didn't share them all, only the worst ones, but it was hard to make choice thinking that I left out the one about sister – only Emmett and Four knew about it. So we shared about two fears each. Emmett told them about the deaths he saw (mine, Kate, etc.) and about being drawn. This one surprised me, but then I remembered Emmett never went to the pool with me and Kate – he always stayed outside watching us and making sure nothing happened to us. I wonder what he would do if one of us was almost drowning… He'd probably freeze with panic.

Owen told us he was afraid that her sister had some accident and acidified rain. I don't know where he got that second fear from, but none of us could help him. I mean, how do you run from rain? And finally Maeve told us she was afraid of some guy with no face who would run after her and of getting her family killed. This got me thinking that all of us had fears related to our families and I think when we shared it with each others it got us closer, as though _we were_ family.

Emmett and Maeve are waiting for me outside the girl's bathroom. Emmett looks pretty mad and Maeve is nervous, as me. "What is it?" I ask Emmett, but surprisingly is Maeve who answers me. "Owen didn't spend the night on the headquarters." I shake my head, confused. Why is Emmett mad about it, instead of them both being worried? "He got out yesterday at seven and a half in the evening." Emmett explains. "Oh. OH!" I say, suddenly understanding. Owen's been taking that train every day since he started dating Kate, I just didn't think… Well, I'm better not think anything. Maeve laughs a little, but her face turns serious almost immediately. "Let's just go, shall we? Maybe is already waiting for us in the waiting room. It's almost nine o'clock." I nod, and hold hands with Emmett, moving my thumb in circles to calm him down.

The closer we get to the fear landscape room, more nervous I get. So soon enough is Emmett who's calming me down. Thankfully Owen provides us the chance to stay outside the waiting room for a couple minutes longer, as he rushes to catch up with us. His blonde hair is wet, and his not wearing a shirt though he has one on his arms. Emmett doesn't look particularly happy about that. When Owen reaches us he takes a few deep breaths and dresses his cleaned T-shirt. I raise one eyebrow to him once he's done.

"Got… stuck… in a… train." He says, still trying to recover his breath. But then he glances at Emmett. "After I left your sister's place. Wait, that's not what I meant." I look at Maeve who's trying to contain her laugh. I hold my breath so I won't burst into laugh too, and at the same time make sure not to let go of Emmett. I don't want him to punch Owen. "I respect her. Nothing happened." Owen says, calming Emmett down at last. "How did you get out of the train then?" Emmett asks. "Roof escape. The door didn't open so I had to sleep there until there was enough light for me to find a way to reach the roof. And it was raining!" That's it. Both me and Maeve couldn't hold it anymore and started laughing. It wasn't that funny, but we were so desperate to forget about our fear landscape just for a brief moment that we had to clean the tears from our eyes.

When we finally stopped laughing, we entered the waiting room. Everyone looked pretty serious, and that took the entire good mood we just earned away. No one was in the fear landscape so I'm guessing we got in right in time. "We're first." Maeve says. "Lau, told us transfers go in second place." I sigh. That means I still have some time to prepare myself mentally. One of the transfers stands up and enters the room, and I'm guessing they've been told when their turn is. There's now to sits left, so Owen and Maeve take the one in front, next to the others Dauntless-born initiates and I and Emmett take the other one, next to Liz.

Liz still looks down and I feel sorry for her. I'm almost sure that she's going to be one of the last one in the classifications. Technically no one leaves in this phase, because we're ten already. Guess there were such a small number of initiates this year. But our classification still counts because it will allow us to choose the job we want. The person who gets the first place gets to chose first, then the second place, and so on until the last person. So no one really feels like we've passed our initiation. Plus, we can still be expelled if we crash during the simulation and don't make it through our fear landscape.

Sitting on Emmett's lap, we silently remember each other tips to go through our fear landscapes. The Dauntless-born initiates cheer every time one of the monitors goes green, which means someone has passed through one of their fears. At some point, the fourth guy finishes his fear landscape and Four comes out of the observation room. "Owen's your turn. You're next, Maeve."

Owen enters the room and I look inside the observation room for the first time today. It's full of Dauntless members. Some of them have electrodes connected to their heads, and I'm guessing that's how they know what's really going on in the fear landscapes, instead of just watching someone punching air. Judging by their expressions the last guy's fear wasn't that interesting. Though Max, one of the Dauntless headmasters I know, turns around on his chair to talk to Lauren, who's standing between Four and Eric. Max asks her a question that she answers with a short answer, making Max turn around again. Eric looks pretty startled – probably the headmasters decided he's not old enough to watch the fear landscapes yet. And I have to say it, I'm thankful for that.

Looking at Owen going through his fear landscape I can identify which of his fears corresponds to the acidified rain one, as he looks up to the clouds at some point. But in all the other fears his face simply shows pure panic. Counting them, Owen goes through twelve fears before he blinks a few times; to make sure what he's seeing is real. I don't look at his timer or I'm sure I'll get even more nervous. So my eyes follow Maeve, who stands and enters the room. I feel Owen standing behind us, focus on Maeve as well.

She's incredible fast and my mouth opens when she "wakes up" after her fourth fear. Four fears. Maeve only has four fears. Somehow, I feel myself turning to the observation room. But I'm not looking at all those men and women who seem to be arguing. No. I find myself looking at Four. And suddenly I realize why people call him Four – like Maeve, he only has Four fears. I mean, that can't be his real name, can it? Like my name is not Is. Some of the observers look at him as well, but he intimidates them by glancing back at them. Obviously he doesn't like to be noticed.

Maeve's friends congratulate her, but she doesn't look happy about it. She leaves the room almost immediately. I want to run after her but I know I can't, so I look up at Owen, whose mouth is slightly open, as if he's astonished with all that just happened, but once he realizes I'm looking at him, he nods and goes after Maeve.

Again, Four comes out of the room. "Transfers, you'll be called according to your classification from phase two, which means Liz goes first and Is is the last." Liz stands up and enters the room. I don't want to see it, so I let my head rest on Emmett's shoulder and close my eyes, visualizing what I'll have to go through. By doing so, I hope I'll be more prepared to what is expecting me. At some point I hear a noise coming from the monitors and Emmett holds me closer to him. "It went red. She didn't make it." He whispers. I can't tell I didn't expect that, but I had faith Liz would make it through. I don't look at her as Lauren joins her and they both leave the room – I know I wouldn't like people looking at me.

There are nine of us now, and four still haven't been through their own fear landscapes. One of them is me and the other is Emmett. How worse can this get from now on? Lara stands up and enters the room, and I can see the fear in her face even before the nurse inside the room inserts the transmitter on her. Again, I close my eyes. I feel Emmett caring me in the back. The Dauntless-born initiates are still cheering every time Lara passes through one fear. And then Ethan. At some point during Ethan's fear landscape Emmett pulls my chin up to kiss me.

"Don't let my death panic you." I say when he gives me time to breathe. "Focus on keeping your heartbeat steady." He closes his eyes and shakes his head. Then his eyes snap open and he's looking at me. "I can't. You're death is always the worst. But I think this time it's going to be easier to calm down while they're- they're killing my sister. Because I kind of have the hope Owen will show up the and save the day this time." Emmett even manages a smile at this point. "I know it's not possible but-" "Hey, it is possible. We control it this time, alright?"

I hear movement behind me and Ethan leaves the room. I stand up from Emmett's lap, still holding his hand. I put my other hand over his heart. It's beating too fast already. "Keep it steady." I say, before I let go. He doesn't look back at me as he walks towards the room. Emmett's face is difficult to translate, but I can say when's going through my death, through being drowned and through getting lost in a place he doesn't know. Emmett told me that's he's afraid of tornados or hurricanes as well, which I think it's conditioned by his fear of drowning, but I can't really identify that one. As I did with Maeve and Owen, I count his fears. Eight fears. It's a good number and I don't think I could watch his expression for longer.

As he gets out of the room, he's trembling. His face reflects pain and fear until our eyes meet. Then his expression reveals relief and I stand up. He gives me a fast kiss, not caring about the other's complaining. "Just making sure." He whispers before he takes our chair. I feel like my legs are going to lose their strength at any second as I walk towards the fear landscape room, but fortunately they don't.

I feel the needle in my neck and the nurse – the one who caught me and Emmett in the dark hall – presses the plunge. "Try not to get injured." She says, as though it was out private joke. But I don't laugh. Everything around me is starting to change, and suddenly I'm not in the pipes room anymore.

The floor is the same – I'm still in the Dauntless headquarters – but around me there are all types of targets you can imagine. My heartbeat increases. This is not as I saw it the first time, but it's definitely my fear of knives. I look around, trying to find the table with the knives, but there's no table. I'm not supposed to shoot – that's not what I'm afraid of anymore – no, I'm supposed to be shot. I look around, trying to find the door, but there are targets everywhere I look. I don't know where my enemies come from so I wait. They don't take long, Ethan, Lara and Eric enter the room a few minutes later, or at least it looks like a few minutes to me. They all have big knives on their hand. Oh, that can't be good. I step backwards as my heart beat speeds even more, and I feel like it's going to explode out of my chest. I don't know why, but this remembers me of riding Owen's bike, it reminds me of adrenaline. And that reminds me of something Owen told me that day. «They don't tell us so it won't make things easier for you, but if you study your fears, you'll find what they mean, and then you only need to fight it with its opposite.» It seems quite simple once you find out what is your fear about. So I think, I got over the knives part, so what really am I afraid of? And then it seems obvious, I'm really just afraid of someone with a weapon. But now, what the opposite of that? It can't be not having a weapon, because that's my position right now. They're now very close to me I can feel the warm coming from their bodies. I feel like screaming, but then I realize, only a powerful weapon can fight another weapon. Is not that what wars are all about? I think of a gun and I hold my breath when I feel a weight in my left leg. A gun on my trousers pocket – trousers that I can swear I was not wearing before I got here. But I don't contain myself; I take the gun and point it at them. I need no more. They all step backward and I feel myself getting back the control of my breath. My heart beat steadies and everything turns into a mix of colour.

The next fear is the easiest one – heights. It's the first I faced and I always think of Emmett waiting for me. I jump from the top of the Center without even hesitating. Two fears down, only the gods know how many are to come.

I start trembling when I see what my next fear is. I'm in my Candor house again, and it's empty. I shouldn't have allowed myself to even think about looking for someone, but I do. I scream for my dad and I scream for Emmett. I even scream for my mom once. But then I can't handle it anymore so I run out of the house. Once I'm out I scream for Emmett again. I scream for Kate and Owen, because now I have memories of them here. I scream over and over again but no one shows up. Until I scream for my sister, Emily. Though this time, I'm counting on her, so obviously she never comes. I sit in the ground, panicking – not afraid of being hit by car. Cars rarely come here, and I'm absolutely sure none will come today. What do I do now? If I fail, I'm out. Emmett is here, I can't just leave him. And that's when I see his blue eyes. I mean, he's not here with me. But I can see his blue eyes and his sweet smile every time I blink. My know-it-all brain whispers to me: self-confidence, and it's like a light turns on in my head. This has never been about being alone; it's always been about me thinking I can't do things on my own. It's about me thinking I'm too weak, not worth it. I close my eyes and focus on Emmett. Bright blue eyes, dark hair, neither curled nor straight and that sweet smile – the smile I caused. That's my smile. My heart beat decelerates and I finally feel like I'll make it through. If I got past this one, I'll go past the others.

Everything turns to a dark forest. The thing is, the dark only lasts for a second. The next second everything's on fire, threatening to consume me. I've never been through this and I don't know what to do. But the last fear gave me hope, and as my brain said: self-confidence. So I decide to play god. I'm controlling this after all, ain't I? So I say it should rain. I wait for a few seconds and few drops start to fall and then more and more until I'm covered in water. For a moment I look up, excited – I just made it rain! But then I remember I'm in a middle of a simulation and I need to get my heart beat slow, so I watch the rain extinguish the fire.

The fire is no long a fire and it's now a red painting in front of me, then the painting compresses as rushed in direction of my neck, suffocating me. The rope is tighten enough, hurting my wrists, but the man keeps on tightening it. I scream, calling his attention. He forgets about the rope and pulls the red tissue, just like he did three days ago. I try to scream but it doesn't work this time with the tissue around my neck – I should be counting on that one, but I'm not thinking straight. I remember the last time and how the knife showed up in my hand, and suddenly there it is, in my right hand. I cut the rope, more careful this time, but ending up by cutting my wrist again. Guess who's never going to use knives again in real life? As soon as I'm done I stretch my arms, just like last time, and take the tissue out of my neck even before I stand up. I drop the knife in the floor and hold my neck, making sure it's still there. After two times being suffocated I should check if my vials are still working.

I look at the dead man lying on the floor. "You're the one who forced me to kill you twice. You should've remembered last time." My voice was weak and I don't know what led me saying this, but really was starting to hate this guy.

The walls turn dark and I see pipes again, but I'm not sure if this is a fear or not. I sure am afraid of the fear landscape room. I'm paralyzed and then I unfroze so I guess this is real life, in part because my heart isn't beating as fast as it was in the beginning of every fear. The nurse is not here anymore, probably because I'm the last one, so I walk really slowly towards the door, making sure I won't fall. The minute I open the door, two arms catch me. I'm sure never getting sick of Emmett's smell – sweet but male.

"Hmm-hmm! Other people here want to celebrate." Emmett lets go of our hug but he holds my hand, fingers laced on mine. Owen takes his place immediately. "Did I hear something about five fears? You girls are rocking the house today." Maeve is back too, and she looks better. Her smile is back but she looks worried. "Well, I warned you that guys only _pretend _to be fearless in most situations." She says, making me and Emmett laugh.

I look around and see that most of the other initiates are looking at out group. Maeve turned out to be the star of the day. My eyes end up by meeting Four eyes, who is also looking at us, worried. "I'll be right back." I say, unlacing my fingers and walking towards Four. "Would it be too much to give you a hug?" Four smiles. "That's part of training. You always become friends with your trainer." He shrugs and pulls me to him, giving me a fast hug. "Congratulations on that five." He says. "Thank you, _Four._" He looks at Maeve. "You figured that out." I look back too. Emmett's staring at us as he talks to Owen and Maeve. But he seems more inside in my conversation with than in his, as if he could read our thoughts. "Yeah." Four shakes his head like if he was trying o get rid of some back thought. "Well, I have to go." He shows me some papers. "I have some classifications to do." He turns around. "Dinner's at nine today. The last carriage is always empty apart from your friend. Take Maeve with you and bring Kate later. Don't be late." And with this awkward "order" he leaves.

**A/N: Thank you for not warning me that my last chapters are full of phrases that don't make sense! Okay, it's not your fault, but I would seriously appreciate some reviews, good or bad.  
Thanks. Best, Is.**


	17. Chapter Seventeen - Goodbye

**Chapter Seventeen – Goodbye**

As soon as we got out of the waiting room I told my friends what Four had told me. Owen cheered; Emmett looked happy with it as well; Maeve was our problem. She tried to say she was busy and couldn't go but as soon as we all stared at her with a mad look she said it was no big deal and that she could come. We all went for lunch together and after that I and Emmett went for a walk as Owen and Maeve went to get Kate's cover for tonight – which means buy some clothes at the Dauntless cloth's store so she could sneak in without being noticed.

"Five fears, huh?" Emmett says, lacing his finger on mine as we walk towards the Pit. I roll my eyes. "You only had three more. It's no big deal." "It's not a big deal? It's half of the lowest average number!" He doesn't give me time to complain, as he takes me on his arms. "I am proud of you!" I raise my eyebrows and he keeps on talking. "You're so different. No, not different. Just now, you're you. What you show to everyone it's what you've been hiding for sixteen years. And I love you for that. I love you for your bravery. I love you because you made us get through this. Together." My face burns and I'm speechless when we get to the Pit. I start climbing – heart beat on its highest speed.

We climb to the highest wooden bridge today, ending up by having the window-roof right on top of us. Emmett lies back, with one foot hanging on each side of the wooden bridge. I lie back against his chest but keep my feet on the bridge. The rain falls, just as Owen had said. Looking at it as I stand below it makes me feel wheat, though the rain doesn't even touch me. Its noise makes it impossible to maintain a conversation, so we keep quiet, playing with each other fingers until I eventually fall asleep.

"Hey there, Sleepy Beauty." Emmett calls out, using a fairy tale name to make fun of me. He's right, though. I've been sleeping quite a lot. It's just… For the past three days I've been waking up exhausted due to nightmares. "What time is it?" I ask, nearly screaming because of the rain. "Time to go. I just saw Maeve and Owen down there walking towards the train station." I make the mistake of looking down, not remembering we're on the highest wooden bridge. Immediately I hold Emmett's arm. He laughs as he puts his hands on my waist. "You're okay. I'm here. Let's just go down."

"Wait." I say. "There's something I want to tell you." He raises one eyebrow, and I shake my head trying to gather enough bravery to tell him what I want to. For some reason I carried the feeling that something bad is going to happen all day; but with all the worry about going through my fear landscape I ended up by not making such a big deal of it. Yet as I was watching the rain before I fell asleep, I couldn't help the feeling to stay away any longer. "I-" Again, I make a mistake, as I lock eyes with him and it's like my voice gets lost. "Is, is everything okay?" I nod and dry swallow. Then I approach him and get on my tip toes, ending up by speaking in a low voice to his ear. "I love you too." I say, not really coming out as I planned. I meant to tell him what I had been feeling today and that I couldn't stand that whatever was to come would cause him to leave me or even hurt him, but I just blocked and came up with the words I've been afraid to say out loud for a long time.

He manages a smile, astonished with my revelation. His non-reaction time doesn't last long though. He pulls me to him – hands still on my waist – and kisses me. It's a new type of kiss. Like he's surer of me being his and I wonder if I've ever gave him reasons to be confused about it. When he gives me time to breathe, we're completely enlaced on each other, which surprises me – one of my hands is on his back, pulling him to me and the other's laced on his dark hair; his hands, instead, are still on my waist, but he moves them up to my cheeks, careful as only Emmett can be. I would never be like this if there was someone around. Yet, it takes me only one word to wake us up to reality, "Kate."

We make our way down to the Pit and then to the train station where Maeve and Owen await us. "Did you bring the clothes?" I ask. "On my backpack." Owen answers, his eyes shining. "Any idea where we're going?" I ask, wondering where Owen and Kate use to go, or if they simply stay on the train all the time. Owen shakes his head, but I think he's lying by the way he glances at Emmett. Five minutes later the train arrives. Guess we were right on time! We wait until the last train car passes by before we jump inside.

I nearly fall, but Emmett keeps me steady. I'm missing some practice. I barely have time to turn around when Kate's tin arms smash me. "You cut your hair!" I say, accusing her. She always refused to cut her hair shorter than mine, which is quite longer now, but Kate's new look really surprises me. Her curly blonde hair goes by her shoulders now, what makes her look ten times prettier, something I thought as impossible before. She smiles and hugs her brother. "I like you priorities." He says causing her to show her tongue as she used to do back when we were kids.

"You must be Kate." Maeve says, evaluating her. I turn around, looking for Owen and I'm surprised to see that he's on a really deep conversation with an older guy, with dark red hair and dark eyes. I've never seen him before. "Yes. And you must be Maeve. Owen told me a lot about you." Kate interrupts my thoughts. "He did, huh? Good things, I hope?" She elevates her tone of voice, to call Owen's attention. He and the other guy approach. Owen gives Kate a fast kiss and asks her a couple of questions before he turns to Maeve. "What?" "Kate said you've been saying stuff about me. I hope it's good stuff." She explains. "They're true." He says, looking down, but I can see the smile on his face. As always, Maeve acts immediately, taking her pocket knives out of her pocket. "Is that a dare, Tate?"

"Wait, wait, wait! Your last name is Tate?" Kate laughs. "Yeah. So?" Owen says, pulling her to him. They leave us to cuddle at a corner of the car, leaving us with a complete strange. Or at least, I thought so.

"You must be Zander, then?" Maeve asks, and I wonder how she knows. The boy nods. I feel Emmett's fingers lacing on mine as if saying to let them alone but I want to know who this boy is first. If he's hanging out with my best friend I need to know who he is. "Owen told me about you. You met Kate at wherever you stay, right?" "Not whatever. We live there. It's our home." He says.

"You're factionless; therefore you can't call it a home, can you?" "I see that your concept of home is far different than mine." The guy says. I want to tell Maeve to stop, that guy is not Owen, and she can't challenge him like that. But Emmett pulls by me this time, and I step backwards with him. I still hear Maeve saying "Concept? Who talks like that?"

Emmett lies against the car's wall and pulls me to him, starting to kiss my neck almost immediately. I try to let myself go with him but I just can't. First it's not me. I don't have the capacity of being with Emmett like this in front of other people. Second, I just left Maeve – who always demonstrated to fear being outside the headquarters – with a complete stranger. As this thought crosses my mind, I tense up and look back to Maeve and this guy, Zander. They look like two cats ready to go on a fight. Both carrying the same tricky smile. Both with shinning eyes.

"Is, what is it? Do you know him?" Emmett puts his fingers on my chin, making me look at him. "No! That's the problem! I don't trust him." Emmett rolls his eyes. "You do have to control everything, don't you?" "Hey! I'm worried." He cares me on the cheek, knowing that I won't aloud kisses. "Chill out. Kate told me about him. Zander is cool. She told me he used to be on Amity but transferred to Erudite. Like her, he didn't make it through the initiation. He offered his apartment to her. It's the only way he can keep it – if two factionless are using it. Otherwise they could tell him to go downtown and live among the others at this safe place they have." I'm still not convinced. "How old is he?" Emmett shrugs. "I don't know." I think about it.

"So you're telling me that you're okay that your sister is living with this older guy she just met?" Emmett tenses up a little, but he calms down almost immediately, as if it actually bothered him but he knew it wasn't supposed to. "Look, Zander found her and took her in. He gave her a place to live. Food to eat. And an actual job. He protects her like a brother would. _Like I should have._ And now I should be thankful to him. _I owe him._" I sigh. I don't really feel okay with it, but Emmett's got point. Zander kept her safe after all. "It's not your fault. I'm sorry for this. I think I'm still protective over her. She's always been so clumsy. But don't blame on you. She has grown up an amazing young woman. She knows how to defend herself." I even manage a fast kiss, that ends up by lasting longer than planned and I'm out of breath when I pull back – my cheeks burning.

I look back at Maeve and Zander one more time, just to make sure, and I'm surprised to see that they're no longer on the fight position. Maeve has sat down by the door and has her feet hanging. By what I can see, I would say she is daring Zander to do the same. Zander, on his turn, is hanging the door's handle making sure he won't fall with the wind. As an instinct I look at Owen and Kate, just to make sure they're fine, but I am forced to look down immediately. They're so abstracted from everything else, so focus on each other that they could be doing intimate things. It just feels so terrible to watch. Emmett laughs, which surprises me. He's the one who should be bothered with it and not me. I feel like today is being a strange day. It's like everything has turned around.

Owen, Kate and Zander tell us to jump out of the train a few minutes later. We're on the suburbs again, but in the other part of the city. I didn't know the factionless lived here. "Our house is right there." Zander points to an old building at the end of the street. It looks old and on risk of falling. Some of the windows are even broken, but I can tell they live on the second floor. It's the only floor that has flowers on the windows – and not just simple flowers, roses. Kate always said roses reminded her of me: pretty but danger. I never understood before, but now I do. Not because I think I'm either pretty or danger, but because now I know how appearances can elude.

Zander and Kate's apartment is really tiny. It has a small living room that includes a fridge, a couch, a book shelve and a table, two small bedrooms, each one with space for only a bed and a wardrobe, and eventually a bathroom that rarely gets warm water. Owen and Kate don't stop by the living room, entering her bedroom right the way and closing the door. Emmett looks a lot more worried with that, so I ask Zander if he minds that we take his bedroom whispering «sorry» to Maeve as we enter the room.

"I can't believe she's going to change clothes in front of him!" Emmett almost punches the wall, but I hold his arm, almost taking the punch myself. "Stop it. You're going to make it fall!" I say, keeping him away from the walls in general. "I just can't stand-" "We did the same didn't we?" I snap, and he looks confused. "Did what?" I feel myself blush, but I stand for Kate and Owen. "Change clothes. In front of each other." "Well, but I've known you since I was born. Plus, we weren't dating the first time I changed clothes in front of you." "That doesn't mean I didn't feel something for you back then." I curse my words right after I say them, though, for some miracle, they calm Emmett down. "You're saying," his smile makes him talk slowly, "that you had intentions of dating me, hmm, before we, hmm." He takes my hands and makes me lie on the bed. I feel my heart pounding against my chest. My skin burns where he touches me as he slowly lies over mean, with only two centimeters between our bodies. "Before I did this?" Our bodies finally touch and for a fraction of a second I wonder how I don't feel his weight smashing me, but when his lips touch mine, pressing them and making them move in tune with his.

Soon enough, my fingers are laced on his hair and my hand is on his back. I feel his hands reaching for the zip of my black hoodie. I freeze immediately, trying to remember why I even let it get to this point. He understands something is wrong and moves up, sort of lying over me – one hand rested on the bed on each side of my head. We both take some time to recover our breaths, but our eyes are locked. His blue eyes look gray in the dark light of the moon and I wonder how mine look. Probably some mundane dark brown. Suddenly I can't hold is look anymore. He looks so sweet and harmless that I feel bad for rejecting him like that, know I hurt his feelings.

He stands up. I want to tell him not to but I force myself to stay quiet. This is it. What I was afraid of all day. The tears fall from my eyes. I don't move though. The pain is so hard I can't really do anything. I hear a noise and the light coming from the moon increases. A few second later I feel pressure on the mattress. I know it's Emmett because the door wasn't opened so no one got in or out. He sits by my side, supporting his full weight on his left arm. I can't see his expression through my teardrops but I hear him holding his breath for a second. He cares me on the cheek and shoves the teardrops away. By this time I don't know what to think.

"I'm sorry. Don't cry. Please." He moves up in the bed so he's lying against Zander's pillow now and then he pulls me up to him, wrapping his arms around me. I cry against his chest as he whispers sweet words to me. Slowly I start believing them but it takes me a while to get the control over my voice again. "Why are you saying you're sorry?" I ask. "I'm sorry I hurt you." "This time I'm sure he's surprised." "Hurt me?" He makes me look up to his eyes. "Isabelle Moore, I love you and for some miracle you love me back. That's the best feeling in the world. And I was the one to hurt you a while ago, and just now. I let myself go after what I'd just said. I'm sorry." Instinctively I kiss him. I know it's probably not the best choice; he can let himself go again. So I pull back after a while and rest my head on his chest. "Will you wait for me?" The words come out of my mouth but it's not voice who speaks it and sure it's not my brain who thought them. He holds me closer, as if he could sense how fragile I was just by my tone of voice – which he probably could. "Always."

We stand in silence for a few minutes longer. He moves is arm and sees the time on his wrist watch. "It's almost time to leave." He says. _Impossible, _I think, _we just got here. _He starts to stand up and I intend to follow him. "Hold still." He says. I do as he says, and stay lie on the bed. He doesn't fully stand, sitting by my side. He touches the zip of my hoodie, half opened already. "May I?" I feel my heart beat speeding, but I know I can't be nervous. Emmett said he'll, I have to trust him. He unzips my jacket and makes me undress it. I feel cold but I don't say a word. The cold only last for a few seconds though. The he passes his fingers through my arms, my neck, my stomach… He even plays with my curly brown hair for while. Then he stops and simply looks at me. The human light illuminates my body. I stretch my arm to care him in the cheek. His dark is falling to his face, as always. I smile and apparently he sees it as an encouragement to talk. "Tin. Pale. Stubborn look. So beautiful."

I want to say something back, but the door crashes open. Zander glances at us and immediately looks down. "I- huh-." He shakes his head and starts again as I and Emmett stand up and I put my hoodie on. "I was told to call you guys." He turns around on his feet and we follow him, embarrassed.

In no time, we're back in the Dauntless headquarters. Zander left us at the train station near their apartment and turns out he was a really nice guy after all.

Kate olds my arm really tight as we walk towards the dining hall. "Calm down. You look like a real Dauntless. Everything's okay." She nods and tries to look calmer. Her curly blonde hair swinging from one side to the other. I stare at her for a couple seconds more. She grew up since the Choosing Ceremony day, and now, with all the makeup Maeve out on her, she looks _mature. _I wonder how different I look to her.

When we reach the dining hall Four waves at us from an empty table – well not empty if we count on him. We all walk towards there and sit by his side. Kate pulls by my arm and whispers to me. "Isn't he your mentor? Doesn't he know that I'm not supposed to be here?" I look at Four who just started a conversation with Maeve. "You have no idea how Four likes to break the rules. Last year he kicked Eric's ass during their initiation." Owen, who apparently had stopped to talk with Lauren, shows up behind us. "He did?" I ask, turning to Four. "Yeah." He glances at Eric. I follow his eyes and find Eric too. As soon as he notices me staring he grabs his knife from the table and shows it too me. I look away immediately. Obviously someone told him about my fear landscape. I hope that's the only fear they told him about. I don't want him haunting me.

Owen takes his place next to Maeve and in front of Kate. She's still nervous about being here but somehow Owen manages to calm her down, enough to make her eat her dinner.

As soon as we're done with our dinner, Max stands up, and climbs an empty table, so we can all see him. Behind that table is a big screen someone put there today. Everything is silent. Marcus turns on a microphone and starts talking.

"As we all know, we're starting a new year today. All the initiates that have made it through the three phases are here. Congratulations." Marcus gives time for the Dauntless member to shout and cheer and then hits the microphone with two fingers to shut them down.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in action. We believe in freedom from our fears. In the past weeks, these initiates have shown to share our believing. Therefore, you are very welcome!" I wouldn't say that's what most people in here believe in. But I know I believe in bravery. As I've been told, in ordinary acts of bravery, on the courage that leads one person to stand up for another. "So tomorrow, as their first act as member of our faction, this initiates will all pick their jobs. Unfortunately, we didn't even reach ten new members this year, but we know that the ones that'll join us will compensate the ones we lost."

The silence is back. We're all remembering the ones that left, and for a second my mind remembers me of that Abnegation girl who fell while jumping to the roof of the headquarters.

"And, now, the so awaited moment, your classifications." The moment he says this last words, our names appear on the screen. Right on top there's a photo of Maeve – obviously she got the first place. Owen is already hugging her and I pass my eyes through the rest of the names. My mouth opens slowly as I read the second and third names.

2. Is

3. Emmett

Emmett hugs me from behind, lifting me off the ground. I feel his warm lips on my neck. Once he puts me on the ground again, I turn on my feet to kiss him. As I said, today everything is turned around, so I can allow myself to one kiss in front of everyone. I can feel the surprise on his face while my lips move against his on a perfect tune, but he pulls me closer to him. Our kiss doesn't last long, as the crowd in our table decided to jump over us.

"First four places!" I hear Owen's scream coming somewhere from my left. And I don't need to look at the screen to know he got the fourth place. A smile forms in my mouth, and I just can't make it disappear. I don't think I've ever been this happy and relieved at the same time.

The crowd keeps on cheering and shouting. People come to congratulate me on the second place, even people I never talked to before. Finally I feel like Four said – we did find the best family we could ever find. And more than that, I finally found the place I belong to – The Dauntless Faction.

Owen and Kate are the first ones to sneak out of the dining room and we follow them almost immediately, leaving Maeve with the other Dauntless-born initiates that are now members. Emmett even sings on our way to the dorm. We lie on Emmett's bed and we kiss. We kiss for so long and no one comes inside. I guessing the party must be really good.

For the second time today, Emmett unzips my jacket and takes it off. For my own surprise, I feel my hands unzipping his jacket as well. I am conscious nothing is going to happen, not- not like that. But we're so happy that we feel comfortable on letting the other explore our bodies. I take his shirt off as well. That's when we stop kissing. I look at him in the dark. There's only a weak light coming from under the door. Yet, even with only that light he's beautiful. He's pale skin, though not as much as mine, in contrast with his dark hair and blue grayish eyes takes my breath away. I let my fingers follow the lines that define his muscles on his chest and stomach. He chills due to the cold of my fingers in contact with his warm skin but he doesn't stop me.

And that's somewhere when we hear the screams. Not like party screams, real screams – panic screams. We stands up immediately and put our shoes on. I take Emmett's watch for a second just to see what time is it. It's almost one in the morning. I drop the watch and hold Emmett's hand. None of us cares of putting our clothes back on.

We go outside and run to the Pit – where the screams seem to come from. We're surprised to see a big crowd in there. For some reason people open a path for us. We advance towards the Chasm. At some point I see the paramedics face and freeze. My brain knows what happened even though I can't think it myself. I turn to Emmett and bury my face in his chest. The tears fall from my eyes. I feel his hands on my back on a protective gesture. I feel his chest moving and I know he's crying too. But it's not until I hear the worst screams I've ever heard in my life that I break apart.

"NOOOOOO!" I look up and see Owen at the end of our path. Kate and Lauren are each holding one of his arms, stopping him from stepping any closer. His eyes are drowned in tears and he keeps screaming. But those are screams I no longer hear. The truth just hit me. _Maeve is dead. Thrown in the Chasm because of her Divergence. It isn't safe to stay here any longer. _

I walk towards the Chasm. Emmett doesn't try to stop me. He's frozen trying to face the reality in his own way. Soon enough he'll get to the same conclusion as I did. I know the paramedics tell me not to get any closer and I know that Owen is still screaming behind me. But I don't hear anything but my own steps and my own unsteady breath.

The water is red but there's no body – taken way with the current. I lose my strength and fall to my knees, yet I keep my eyes on the reddish water. Someone's behind me ready to take me way. A friendly arm on my shoulders telling me it's time to go.

"Goodbye." I say to the water before I let myself cry against Four's chest, who later delivers me to Emmett.

**A/N: Okay guys, I am crying right now and I am sorry if I made you cry too. I just really loved this character. And I've been having lots of views but no reviews. So, this is a decisive chapter on whether I should or not keep on writing. If you have an opinion on it, please tell me.  
Best, Is. **

**[P.S I have a special thank you to writeyourcaresaway, who first made me start this and who has supported me a lot. She's a really good writer and you could do me the favor of at least checking her profile/stories.]**


	18. Chapter Eighteen - 'Divergent'

**A/N: I'm so so sorry that even after more people than I expected told me to keep writing but my laptop broke and I had to wait for a new mother board for like three weeks. So yeah, same crap I always say but you rarely do even though I don't bite or anything: please review, I would be pleased to have your feedback (:**

**Chapter Eighteen – 'Divergent'**

Everything is fuzzy and there are only a few things I am sure about. I am in Four's bedroom. I'm crying on Emmett's arms. Maeve is dead. We need to leave. And by we, I mean all the people in this room. This place went from Home to one of the most dangerous places we could be in, in less than an hour.

I feel a hand in my back and I look up. Four is trying to hide his sadness but it's an impossible goal in a room where everyone is crying. "We need to talk." He says. His words have a double meaning, as always – we need to talk, but not here, where anyone can hear us.

I nod and stand up from Emmett's lap. He looks at me with red eyes from crying, though he stopped crying a long ago. Actually, I and Owen were the only ones who cried for the last couple hours. I let go of him and walk into the bathroom. I open the water and I'm ready to wash my face when I glance at the mirror. All the makeup Maeve made me wear for our last day as initiates has now made a big mix of golden, brown and black in my face. I look terrible; but that's not the matter though. My crying ruined one of Maeve's last works. I rush on washing my face and leave the bathroom. Only Emmett is waiting for me and the door is opened.

"Four told us to meet him in the train station in fifteen minutes. Owen took Kate and left right the way. I think he has something in mind, and it's probably not a good thing." I nod and take his hand.

"He has to do what he thinks he needs to do." I don't look at Emmett in the eyes. I can't. In this moment I don't think I can face anyone. I pull by his hand and we leave the room towards the train station.

Fifteen minutes later a train comes and we jump in. Owen and Kate appear just in time. Owen is carrying a backpack. Four and Emmett both look surprised with it, but I don't. He can't stand it staying in the Dauntless headquarters anymore. Owen has made his decision, he is now factionless. He looks at me for a brief second and I get the message. "Tell my sister goodbye for me." I nod saying I will.

The silence is heavy but no one breaks it. The train passes through to the Dauntless headquarters station again – we just made a full circle around the town and no one said a word yet. As the train continues Four finally decides to break the silence. He's looking right at me, so I look down.

"Owen, Kate. You might want to take a seat." I feel Emmett's hands pulling me closer to him and I know he just realized what happened to Maeve and what Four is going to say.

"Four…" Emmett tries to say, but shuts up once Kate and Owen stare at him.

"We all know who killed her right?" Owen eyes immediately move from Emmett to Four.

"You're saying-?" Four simply nods. I look up to Emmett. It could have been one of us if only Eric knew about our Divergence. But both of us had terrible fears that made our weak moment, which obviously drowned Eric's attention away from us, unfortunately leaving Maeve in the spot light.

"That's not the matter now, anyway." Four continues. "It's not the matter?! HE KILLED HER!" Owen is on his feet again, walking towards Four with a furious look. "How can you possibly say that?!"

Four puts his hands on Owen's shoulders forcing him to calm down. "Look, there's nothing we can do to save Maeve now. And Eric is beyond our reach. In the other hand, there are other people who could use our help." Four looks back at me and Emmett. Owen makes a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

"Think," Four says "why would Eric want to kill Maeve? What in the world about him and what in the world about her could connect them two and give him the need to kill her?"

For the surprise of the surprises, Kate stands up too and shoves Four's hand from Owen's shoulders, standing between them two. "Owen, where did you say Eric was from?" Her back is turned to Four, ignoring him. She's completely focused which is something new in Kate; but I'm guessing she's still a Candor after all, she wants the truth. "Erudite, but what-"

"And Maeve got the first place right? You said something about her being extremely good at stuff most people had trouble with."

"Yeah, all but the fighting, she was good at it, but it was average. Everyone was. But still, what does that have to do with her getting killed."

This time, Kate turns to Four, ignoring her boyfriend. "Maeve was—was—"She takes a deep breath and focus again. "Divergent." She doesn't wait for Four to confirm it, she immediately turns around one more time to face me and Emmett. "And so are you two." Yet she doesn't stop there. She turns back at Four and stares at him. She opens her mouth but then she and Four exchange a look and she closes her mouth again. I wonder what was she about to say, but then we all hear Owen's loud breathing, as if he is panicking.

"No! She would have told me!" No one says a word. It's a hard thing to accept – that someone you love is Divergent. Both I and Emmett were never able to share that fact about us. Even between the two of us we could only share it after we started dating. Being Divergent is probably the most terrifying thing that could happen to anyone, no wonder why Maeve kept it to herself.

Kate walks towards the car's door. By the position of the sun I can tell that it's almost midday. We're all awake for more than twenty-four hours straight. "I think we need to go Owen." Kate says, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible. Seeing her extremely happy and funny boyfriend like this must feel terrible for her. Owen takes his backpack off and lends it to her.

"There's something I still need to do at the Dauntless headquarters. I'll meet you at your apartment later at night." His eyes are still red like he's about to start crying again.

"Owen, I don't think that's a good idea." Kate says. He approaches her and we all look away. After a few minutes her shadow disappears and I'm guessing she just jumped out of the train.

"Owen I hope you're not planning something like trying to kill Eric." I say, leaving Emmett's arms for a moment. It's the first chance I get to support Owen.

"I would, if I could. But it's not the time yet." He says. "Didn't you want to work with Tori? Well, I have a job for you." His voice breaks a little at the end of his statement and he takes me on his arms and cries for a little longer; just until we get to the Dauntless headquarters. There all the sadness in his face seems to be gone, replaced by an expressionless mask.

I remember talking about the jobs we wanted back when we were planning our trip to the Candor faction. It was only a few days ago, but it seems like years. That was the day when I announced that I wanted to work with Tori at the tattoo's store. I even made a joke saying that then I would get a lot of Owen's visits every time he got caught doing something he shouldn't and was sent there to clean the store. Emmett told everyone he'd like to work with Four at the computers room in the Dauntless headquarters. Owen said he'd take anything as long as he could jump from buildings or drive a bike at high speed whenever he wanted. And at last, Maeve told us she'd like to train new initiates, just like Lauren and Four – a chance she never got, and never will.

At the Dauntless headquarters people open paths for us everywhere we go. We get kids staring and grownups looking away. Maeve's family is waiting for us in the dining hall. None of them is crying – a stupid rule from Dauntless that says that crying is coward. For me, cowardice is now showing what you feel, and I'm quite a pro in that. But I never considered myself as brave after all, did I?

After that, all the initiates met at the training room. (Owen was mysteriously gone and Lauren was late and she looked quite mad and sad, so no need to wonder about where Owen was.) Four tells us it's time to pick our jobs. I feel bad to be the first one, as though I'm taking Maeve's place. I say what I want and Lauren tells me to go to the store and tell Tori I'm her new assistant. I pass my fingers through Emmett's and quickly leave, still not being able to look into his eyes. Eventually I realized what has been stopping me from looking right into people's eyes – guilty. I blame myself for Maeve's death. I'm probably being stupid, but I knew something was wrong. I knew something bad was going to happen and didn't warn anyone. I simply played egocentric and worried about my relationship with Emmett when that was never in risk. I force myself to stop thinking about it once I reach the store.

Tori is really nice to me and puts me working immediately. She tells me to show what I can do with a pencil and I draw some simple drawings. "I see you're quite talented." She says in her calm voice.

I remember Four telling me she used to volunteer to do the faction tests to the Abnegation members. Maybe that's where she learned how to be so calm and controlled all the time.

After the drawings she says she's going to show me how to do them with a needle. I don't particularly like the idea of a needle as it reminds me of a syringe, but I manage to focus on what she's telling me.

At about six o'clock she closes the store, as, according to her, tattoo makers need to be wide awake to work. So basically she's telling me I have every night free. Though I don't think that's going to happen today. First, Tori is going to make me a tattoo on my arm – the Abnegation symbol. I tell her to put it right next to the Dauntless one.

Again, I don't think of myself as selfless, I mean, I just proved I wasn't yesterday, but I now know that I need to be. I owe that to Maeve. The second reason is that once I'm done with my tattoo and Tori lends me the keys of the store so I can take a look at her drawing books as she goes have dinner, Owen enters the store.

"You're boyfriend's shift is about to be over. I told him to meet us here." By the tone of his voice I can see he's not telling me everything, but I don't pressure him. "Meanwhile, I hope you learned how to do your job. I want a tattoo." I sigh. "Owen… You should wait for-"

"I can't. I need to leave. And I want you to do it. It's important." I look at the floor, not knowing exactly what to do. I feel Owen walking towards me and making me look into his eyes. I try to look away, unsuccessfully. "Is, please. You're one of-" He shakes his head. "You're my best friend. Do this thing for me and for Maeve, would you?" I close my eyes and nod.

Emmett walks in right in the moment I'm saying 'Okay, take your shirt off' to Owen, which makes me feel quite embarrassed. Emmett himself seems to be hiding something by the look he exchanges with Owen, but I decide I will ask later, after Owen leaves.

Owen asked me to write Maeve's name at the top of his back and 'Divergent' at the bottom. I tried to refuse doing the bottom one, but he insisted. His skin is burning red when I cover it with a bandage. "It should be healed in a couple of days." I say, repeating Tori's words. Owen nods and thanks me as he puts his shirt back on. He opens the door. "I'll see you soon, hopefully." One last look exchanging with Emmett and he leaves, rushing towards the train station.

I turn to Emmett, who's already behind me, making me jump. We both raise one eyebrow to the other.

"You're very jumpy."

"You're hiding something." We accuse each other at the same time.

I look down almost immediately, but he keeps his look steady. Whatever he's hiding doesn't bother him. He puts his arms around my waist. "I know this scared you, Is. It scared me too. Still does. But it won't change who we are." I let my head rest against his chest and tell him what I felt like yesterday.

"You were seriously thinking I was going to dump you? I had to be insane to do that!" I roll my eyes, almost managing a smile. "Emmett, that's not the matter here." He puts his hands on my cheeks and makes me look into his eyes. It seems easier now that I told him about how such a piece of trash I felt like. "Look," he says "it's not your fault. You weren't the one to throw her. It was Eric. We all know it was him. And it's as Four told Owen. We can't change what happened now, but we can save ourselves. Maeve would want us to do that." I close my eyes, struggling with the pain caused by the fact that everyone now uses the past tense to refer to Maeve.

"I know. We need to leave. But people will suspect if we leave now." Emmett sighs with relief. "I thought you'd say we should stay here."

"Why on Earth would I say that?" Emmett looks down.

"I know it feels like home for you here. I know you've never had this." It's my turn to make Emmett's eyes meet mine.

"Home is wherever you are. I thought you were smart enough to go to the Erudite faction, but I'm having my doubts…" He shows me an offended expression and tickles me.

"Are you calling me an Abnegation Brain?" Abnegation Brain is supposed to be a big offense among Erudite members, as it's the faction they hate the most, and they think it's the dumbest.

"You're the one to say it." I say, raising both of my hands, on a peace gesture.

Emmett lays on the table-strike-bed where Owen was lying before while I was making his tattoo, and pulls me to him. Two normal people probably wouldn't fit the table but as I'm so tiny and Emmett is quite skinny in a muscled and cute way, the table is just fine for the two of us. We cuddle for a while until we decide we're getting hungry. I'm ready to start cleaning the stuff I used for Owen's tattoo when Emmett pulls by my hand. "Would it be too much to ask you for a tattoo and I'll go get the food for us while you prepare everything?" I look into his eyes, trying to decipher them, wondering what he has in mind.

I shrug. "I guess it's okay."

He gives me a fast kiss and rushes towards the dining hall while I get everything ready.

We leave the Dauntless tattoo's store at about three in the morning. Both of us have now the word 'Divergent' tattooed on the bottom of our backs, just like Owen. When Emmett asked for it I refused to do it, saying it was too dangerous. But a few kisses and a speech about Maeve and being brave and not afraid of who we are ended up by convincing me – under the condition that I would get one too, and he'd be the one to do it. Surprisingly, Emmett was great at copying things. I did the draw for him and he made it exactly as I did it on the paper, just on my back.

My wrist and my back hurt, but I don't really care. I'm so tired I think I could sleep for two days straight. We forget that each of us now owns a bedroom and end up by sleeping on Emmett's old bed at the initiates' dorm.

During the following weeks, people slowly stopped opening paths everywhere we went and stopped looking at us with pity. I and Emmett are now known as the Dauntless couple. We rarely hang out with anybody else inside or outside the headquarters.

I'm getting out of the store for my lunch break when Emmett rushes towards me. "Thought your shift only ended on twenty minutes." I say, accepting his kiss when he reaches me. "Owen just messaged me. He said there's an old train car they found and the four of us can have it. It's near the Amity fields, which can cause us some problems in what comes to access to the city, but Owen says he'll try to get us a bike as my sister will use his to go to work. And she'll also have to pretend she's still living with Zander while he doesn't find someone else to stay with him." All this information seems to have trouble to sink in. This means we leave this night, or tomorrow morning, at tops.

"You're alright?" He asks, placing his hands right over my 'Divergent' tattoo. I take a moment before I nod. "Just getting used to the idea that we're moving – again." He looks at me for a second longer.

"I have to go back. I need to talk to Four. See if I can convince him to leave with us. Maybe he could stay with Zander." I laugh and shake my head. "It's not going to happen. He's so stubborn."

"More than you?"

"Hey!" Emmett laughs and gives me a fast kiss before he leaves.

At eight in the night, both I and Emmett have our things packed. It's basically just our clothes from back at Candor and a few personal objects like tooth brushes and shampoos. Four is waiting for us at the train station. We're heading there now. Our fingers are laced, as usual, but there's a weird tension. This'll be the first night we'll spend like alone-alone. I mean, we've been sleeping on Emmett's bedroom for the last few weeks, but like anyone could come in or knock at the door, or just step by in the hall. Tonight's going to be different. We're going to be alone. In the woods. No one will be around. And that idea just scares the hell out of me.

"Is, you're still here?"

"Huh, what?" I say, suddenly realizing Emmett was talking to me. "I was saying that Owen and Kate said they'll be waiting for us in the train, so that they can show us how to get to the old car we're staying in." He stops walking and stands in front of me. "You're okay?" He asks. Obviously, I feel too nervous about what's going on my mind that I can't say a word, so I simply nod. Emmett understands something is wrong, but he decides not to pressure me.

In a couple minutes we are standing with Four. He gives us a fast hug, while I and Emmett try to convince him to come with us. "The train is coming." He says, just to shut us up.

We know it's truth so we say goodbye to Four. Emmett gives him a fast hug and shakes his hand. "It was a real pleasure to call you a friend and a trainer, Four. Thank you, for everything." I hear Emmett saying and wonder how he can always be so careful and wise with his words. Right now, I'm speechless, trying to figure how can I say a definite goodbye to Four. Four, the guy who I've looked up to since I changed factions; the guy I trusted and the guy who like me, never felt like he really had a home.

Four stands in front of me with a sad smile. He opens his arms to me, and I crash against his chest feeling his arms around me. Hot tears start to watch my eyes and fall through my cheeks.

"Hey," he says, "it's not like I'm going to die, you know?"

I look up to his eyes. "Promise me I'll see you again before that happens." I ask. He nods.

"Is, it's time." Emmett calls from behind me and I let go of Four.

"You go," Four says, "She'll follow you in a matter of seconds."

Emmett starts walking towards the train path as I turn to Four, raising my eyebrows with surprise.

"Here," he says, lending me a gun and a set of knives, "to keep you two saves, Abnegation Brains." I kick him for hearing that, but take the gun and shave it the back of my black jeans. As for the knives I have no intention of taking them. Four shakes his head, but doesn't force me to take the knives, which I'm thankful for. I'm ready to turn around when he stops me.

"One last hug?" He doesn't wait for me to answer he pulls me closer to him. "If you ever have problems with the factionless say you're friends with Tobias Eaton." He whispers really fast to my ear as I feel the zip of my backpack being closed and I'm sure he just shoved the knives in there.

"Who's he?" I ask, starting to walk towards the train. He follows me until I start running so I'll be able to jump, and I'm afraid I won't get an answer. And it's when my feet leave the ground and I officially leave what I once called home to become factionless that he shouts his answer.

"A good friend and a powerful name."


	19. Chapter Nineteen - The Naked Truth

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all the reviews asking for more. And as someone said: 'post a new chapter if you're going to keep up with the story, or, if not, please tell us.' So, here I am with a new chapter! And here's also a friendly reminder that I do not own most of its characters or places. Divergent was written by the amazing Veronica Roth and she gets credit for it, obviously :) I hope you enjoy your reading and thanks again for all your support! And for that guest whose friend borrowed your books, I'm glad I'm helping you. Even though a B average on the first term doesn't seem to be enough for my parents so I can't update that often.**

**PART TWO – EMMETT'S POV**

**Chapter Nineteen – The Naked Truth**

When Four told me to go first and held Is on the train station my heart literally stopped. I've seen the way she looks at him and the way she seems to trust him even more than she trusts me. Not to mention the way she looked at Dauntless members back at school, because Four is definitely more dauntless than I am. And the simple thought that he might feel something for her and that he's telling her that at this exact moment just drives me crazy. I had to force myself to do as he said and run to the train. After a few minutes of panic I see her tiny figure jumping inside the train with what seems to be a gun on her right hand. I let out a deep breath with relieve.

"What did Four want?" I ask, trying to keep a neutral voice as I lay against the car wall.

"I'm not sure. He said something about a guy named Tobias Eaton. Do you know who he is?" I shake my head as an answer to her question.

"Isn't Eaton the name of the guy from Abnegation? The one who usually does the speeches for the government?" I ask, saying the first thing that I recall, as usual.

She shrugs. Isabelle never really paid any attention to trivial stuff like the name of the representative of the Abnegation faction, while we were back in Candor.

"Maybe Tobias is his brother and he's responsible for taking care of the factionless? Isn't that part of what Abnegation members do?" She's checking on her gun; putting the bullets in and out, and I can tell she's nervous. Well, actually I could tell something was wrong back when we were heading to the train station. For some reason, Is finds me interesting, which I totally don't understand. But today I was talking to her and she didn't hear a word I said, so focused she was on her inner thoughts. And even now, she keeps her distance.

"Yeah maybe…" She suddenly looks around, as if she'd just remember something; her long brown curly hair swinging around her. Her long fringe ends up by falling to the front and I feel an urge to put it behind her ear, but I contain myself. "Where are Kate and Owen? Didn't you say they'd be here?" She asks.

I shrug. "They said they'd meet us on the train. They never said anything about being here before we entered."

"Guess we'll have to wait, then." She says, shoving her gun in her belt. Seeing Is carrying a gun always seemed funny to me. It looks too big and heavy for her tiny hands and skinny arms, but somehow she manages to keep it steady. Halfway through shoving her gun in her belt she changes her mind and takes it back again. "You should keep it." She says, lending it to me.

I hesitate. "But Four gave it to _you_."

She blushes as she reminds something. I keep on wondering what else Four told her. "Actually he said it was to keep _both of us_ save." She walks towards me and shoves it in my belt. I smile. At least her stubbornness hasn't changed. Unexpectedly, she lies against my chest after she shoves the gun in my belt. I feel my heartbeat race as it always does when I feel her soft pressure looking for comfort in me. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer – always afraid of putting too much pressure that it could break her – and hiding my face on her hair; it smells like citrines, as it always has since she was a little girl.

I know it shouldn't be unexpected to me that she'd still act normal, if we can call Is normal. But this is what I'd expect her to do, before Maeve died. Since then that she seems to be different. Or, on the worst of the chances, it wasn't exactly Maeve's death that changed her. The fact that Is is probably feeling homeless again has been consuming me for almost four weeks. I remember forcing her to do the 'Divergent' tattoo and I knowing that was decisive for us to become factionless. But even then, I didn't know what the consequences of this running would be, especially to Is.

"Have you been stealing her food, Emmett? Isabelle looks skinnier than last time I saw her." I nearly jump. Even though I stayed in touch with Owen I haven't heard my sisters voice in weeks; and hearing it how of nowhere seems like a good dream to me.

Is lets go of me, embarrassed. I wonder if she's ever going to let people know that I'm really her boyfriend and not just the guy who protects her in every way he cans.

"Not all of us can eat twice of what an elephant eats at every meal and still keep a sporty body." I provoke her, opening my arms to her. By this time, Is is already on a deep conversation with Owen. They both look sad so I figure they must be asking each other how they've been doing lately.

"That's what you call my body? Sporty?" Kate shakes her head disapproving and makes sure of tousle my hair as she hugs me. As always, it's a fast hug. My sister is not much of a cuddling girl, even though she changes completely when it comes to Owen. At first I thought she did it on purpose because she knew I didn't like the guy much, but then I figured it was because she really liked him. Now, I couldn't be happier for them – well, partly because at least now I won't need to be worried that Owen would be kissing my girlfriend behind my back.

"Is everything okay? You seem distracted." My sister points out. I'm still trying to understand how she failed on her Candor initiation.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say, automatically checking on Is. Kate rolls her eyes to me, as if saying 'Chill out, she's your girlfriend, not you dog. She knows how to take care of herself.'

"I went to visit mom and dad." She continues, "You should see our baby brother. Jake's grown up. He kind of reminds me of you."

"How can you even tell that? It's impossible that you remember me when I was two months old." I say.

"Well, he's childish, just like you." She mocks me. It's my turn to roll my eyes to her when suddenly lots of people start climbing inside. I look around, confused. The last car is _always _empty. But that's not all. They're all armed to their teeth.

Is's expression is just as confused as mine, as I approach her and pull her closer to me. Kate and Owen, on the other hand, aren't surprised at all. I'm afraid to ask what's going on, so I keep my eyes open and my mouth shut.

I don't need to strive to know that they're all factionless because they're wearing a combination of clothes from more than one faction. Like the guy that's standing next to me – too close for my taste – is wearing black pants, a blue shirt and a gray hoodie. None of them seems to worry about us, though they glance at us every once in a while. I get the feeling that they just don't attack us because we're with Owen and Kate.

"That's our stop." Owen says, breaking the silence in the train. It's a funny choice of words as the train _never _stops. It's meant for the Dauntless members and not for other factions, including the factionless, so jumping in and out of trains is a simple proof of bravery for any person that claim to be dauntless.

I keep my fingers laced with Is's as we get ready to jump. We've done it quite a few times before so none us need to count down or give any sign to say that we're jumping. We simply know the right moment and jump at the same time. I have to say that I'm surprised when my feet land on the soft grass. As always, Is seems to have some trouble on staying on her feet, so I keep her steady.

Kate and Owen jump a second later. I look around, trying to find the abandoned train car Owen told me about, but there's nothing to see. For as far as I can tell we're near the Amity fields, just as Owen had said, but there's no car.

"Thanks for looking so compromised," Kate complains, "now we'll have to _walk_."

"What just happened in there?" Is asks, formulating the question in my mind.

"Well, what do you think smarty? Factionless people going back home after a day of work, of course." Kate answers as she starts walking. Since when has she been into criticizing-esque humor?

"What exactly do factionless people do?" Is has to run to keep up with Kate's pace.

"You know, cleaning the streets, driving the bus, stuff like that. Of course Evelyn sometimes assigns people for special jobs, but she didn't seem much interested in me or Owen. Of course that might be because we both told everyone we failed our initiation even though that's only truth in my case." Owen walks in silent by my side as we hear Kate and Is talking.

"Who's Evelyn?"

"Our leader."

"Factionless people have a leader?!" Is's eyes are fully opened with disbelief.

"Well what'd you expect? Someone as to take care of everything, right? Or else we'd never survive."

Is doesn't ask any more questions, losing herself on her inner thoughts instead. I'm starting to wonder if she's really up the challenge of leaving without a faction. I'm not saying that I think she's weak. Actually she's the bravest and strongest person I've ever met. But she's been through a lot and I'm afraid she's slowly losing her faith in survival and is thinking about given up.

About an hour later we finally get to the abandoned train car. It's dark red painting looks new on the outside and I wonder if Owen and Kate had been fixing it for us. I was kind of expecting that they'd left some work left for us so we'd keep ourselves busy.

"This is where we leave you." Owen says. "The train station is about ten minutes away to East. Just follow our path and you'll easily find it. There's some food on the fridge. I managed to get a solar panel and Zander taught me how to install it. The only thing you don't have is a bathroom. But I guess you can clean yourselves in this small river that goes nearby."

I nod trying to memorize everything Owen said as he hold hands with Kate and starts to turn around when Is stops them.

"How about you? Are you sure you don't want to spend the night?" She glances at me and looks down. "I mean, it's late…"

"Nah. We're good. I'm sure we'd all like some privacy." Owen says. "Meet you guys tomorrow." And without more words they leave us.

I raise one eyebrow to Is, asking for an explanation. But she's not looking at me. Her eyes are still locked on the ground. I wonder if she has any idea of how cute she looks like when she does that… I remember we being like twelve and we'd just started to make our first oral presentations at school and she'd look at ground during all her presentation. I also remember that's somewhere when I realized I liked this girl in a non-brother-sister way.

As I always do in front of her, I try to look confident as I walk towards her. I remember her telling me she wouldn't let me hide behind her as I used to do with Kate back at Candor, but what she doesn't understand is that no matter how I try to be noticed people would never look at me when I'm standing beside her. She's has this strange aura of power that doesn't let you look away.

I put my fingers on her chin, feeling this tip of insecurity inside me. '_That's what you get for dating someone that is too much for you, Emmett,_'I tell myself. She looks up to me with her big greenish brown eyes.

"Shall we go inside, my lady?" I ask causing her to smile. She nods and takes my hand. I follow her inside. Once I'm there I find it funny that Owen was careful enough to separate two couple size beds with a curtain. I guess he just didn't remember that curtains don't contain the sound. A chill passes through me as the thought that I'll have my sister sleeping in the same bed with the guy that kissed my girlfriend on the same train car as me, only separated by a curtain, rushes through my mind. Is looks up to me, curious.

I shake my hand pushing the thoughts away and notice that she's trembling a little. I pull her backpack out of her back and put it on a bed with white sheets I also take out mine but shove our pajamas out before I put it beside the other. I pass Is hers, keeping mine. Then we both look around, embarrassed. It's not like there's a bathroom so we can change clothes in private and each changing clothes on each side of the curtain seems a ridiculous idea. Even changing clothes in front of Is has never been uncomfortable for me; but since that night on Zander's bedroom when I let myself go with my feelings that I've been afraid I'll do something wrong.

For my surprise, she takes a deep breath as if gathering courage for something and takes my pajamas out of my hands, and puts it on top of the bags, along with hers. I know my mouth is slightly open as my eyes follow her movements, but I don't close it.

Is takes my hand and pulls me to the other bed. This one has black sheets – Owen chose Candor colours and at the same time a Dauntless colour. I lay on my side on the bed, using my hand to sustain my head. She lies in front of me with her stomach turned up so I can look into her eyes.

"What are you nervous about?" I hear myself asking her I care her on the cheeks. She blushes and smiles, but doesn't give me an answer. I have that feeling that she makes a sarcastic comment on her head as an answer, but keeps it to herself.

I let my hand move to her waist and move my head down to kiss her. My heartbeat races as I feel her lips opening to answer my kiss. Although we've been dating for a month now I'm still surprised by the fact that she actually loves me back. I feel her fingers laced in my hair as she pulls me closer to her. I pull back slowly, trying not to push her too hard. I take a moment to admire how beautiful she is, and another to wonder how she even dares to put herself down because of her appearance. Then I let myself lie with on my back and let her use my chest as pillow.

In less than two minutes Is stops moving and breath slows down. She's asleep. On the opposite of her, I seem to have trouble to fall asleep when I'm tired. I always keep the feeling that there's something I should've done that I forgot. So I pass my finger through her soft hair has I think about the first time we slept together. By the expression she made on our first night at the Dauntless dorm I don't think she remembers this night.

It was summer and we were six. Kate insisted that the three of us should pitch a tent and sleep on our back yard. I spent the noon trying to decipher Isabelle's face so I'd know if she was or not excited about the idea. Even being a little kid she had already learned how to hide her true feelings. Even now I can't tell you if she was or not because I didn't get to any conclusion.

After dinner – a vegetarian pizza – we went on the tent and played cards. I had Kate on my right and Is on my left. I have to say I wasn't focused enough and Kate made sure to point that out. I was fascinated by how Isabelle always smiled at the right time, always made the right choice on her card and even blinked at the right time.

Eventually we all fell asleep. I was the first one to wake up the next morning and I saw that Isabelle's head was lying above my stomach. She was so calm that for a moment I though she could be dead. But a few minutes later she woke up as well. She rubbed her eyes as she sat and said 'Hey.' on her cute way. That's what she always told me. She'd never called me Emmett before, she'd always say 'Hey' even if it was to complain.

And that little detail just helped to keep the mystery around her. More than that, I liked that. Of course, by that time, I thought I liked her the same way I like Kate; but now, as I look back at it, I can see that I've been in love with this girl forever. That's why I found it so absurd when she thought I could actually break up with her. There's never been that choice for me. I've been hers all along. She might not know it, but I'm probably the only guy she'll ever be able to take for granted.

My eyes start to close and I fall asleep telling myself, 'Let's try to keep it this way.' In another words, 'Don't mess it up. You know you won't deserve a second choice if you do.'

A persistent knock on the door wakes us early in the next morning. We both jump out of bed immediately.

"Geez, Owen. I'm going to kill you for waking us so early!" I shout. "We're not on a military base anymore, you know?"

Is gets to the door before I do and opens it. A flash of confusion passes through her expression, but she hides it in less than a second. When I get to her I see a tall, olive skinned woman that should be on her forties of fifties. Her dark hair and the form of her nose remind me of someone, though I can't really say whom.

I try to stand in front of Is, on a protective gesture, but the woman walks in without being invited and approaches her. I freeze, not knowing what to do and not really remembering that I still have a gun on my belt.

"It's impossible." She says, with a funny looked on her face. "If I hadn't heard of you before I'd say you're twins with your sister."

I look from the woman to Is, whose expression has changed to panic.

"You- you knew my sister?" She asks. Her voice so low that she could be whispering.

"Yes. I _know _Emily."

And it's not until I see Is breathing louder and faster that I notice the different on the tenses. That's also when the truth hits me. They're never found a body because Emily Moore is still alive.

**A/N: Okay, this is my first try on trying to write from a guy's POV, so don't blame on me that I totally failed. (MALE SPECIES, YOUR MIND IS TOO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!) Anyways, reviews would be great. Should I keep up with Emmett's POV? Should I re-write this chapter on Is POV? Please let me know what you want!**


	20. Chapter Twenty - The One and Only

**Chapter Twenty – The One and Only**

_I know Emily. _I imagine my head as an mp3 player and these words are playing on repeat. The only difference between my head and the player is that I can't turn off the repeat option. And I feel each repetition as a sharp knife stabbing me on the back.

I see the woman putting her hand on Is's shoulder and I want to shove it away, but I'm still frozen with confusion. It can't be truth. This woman – whoever she is – has to be wrong. Maybe she's confusing Is's sister with some sort of doppelganger that for some coincidence has the same name has Is's sister once had.

_But the body was never found. _My mom had told me and Kate these exact words when we were ten years old. She told us not to talk about Emily in front of her family - ever.

"Maybe you two should take a sit." The woman says, and that's when I feel myself unfreeze even though the knife keeps on stabbing me. Who does she think she is to tell us to take a sit on our own place? Especially after coming in without being invited.

"Who are you and why did you come here?" Is is still shocked with her mouth slightly opened as she breathes too fast. The memory of when I told her about her sister for the first time is still fresh in my mind. I remember the panic in her voice. I'm not going to let her go through that all over again.

The woman opens her mouth to answer but she never gets to do it as someone stands on the door, suddenly replacing the sun light coming from outside the car by a shadow on the floor.

Owen walks in with a plastic bag on his right hand but stops once his eyes meet the woman that still has her hand on Is's shoulder. The woman lets her hand fall as she turns to face Owen.

"You did quite a good job on hiding your friends, Mr. Tate. It took me the whole night to find them." Owen looks a little surprised with her words, but he keeps his defensive posture. "Now tell me, did you really fail your initiation?"

Owen thinks carefully about his words before he answers – something I've never seen him doing before except on extreme situations. I hope that this doesn't mean we're in trouble. I take another look at the woman just to make sure I've never seen her in my life before. But again, I have that feeling that she reminds me of someone.

"I never became a Dauntless member, Evelyn." Evelyn presses her lips together, as if feeling the double meaning of Owen's words.

"Evelyn…? You're the factionless leader." Is seems to have finally woken up to reality.

Evelyn turns around to look at her, but doesn't give her an answer.

"You see, Isabelle; yesterday I was informed that two Dauntless members had just become factionless, which I found a little odd, seeing that this year the number of initiates was so low. And so I got in touch with one of my friends on the Dauntless compound and she told me that they weren't just two Dauntless members. They were _the two_ initiates that had the highest classifications."

"Then they lied to you. Neither I nor Emmett had the first place on the Dauntless classifications. Our friend did. Maybe you should find more trustable sources." I look at Is trying to warn to be careful. I'm still afraid that she or Owen can break any time someone mentions Maeve.

"And so I went looking for you two." Evelyn continues as if she hadn't said a word. "Again, I have to say it, your friend did quite a good job, didn't you Owen? But, still, I found you. The moment you opened that door I was confused for a second; I mistaken you for your sister. I almost got angry at you for not being where you should. But Emily isn't the kind to run from her responsibilities and when that boy showed up and matched the description I was given, I realized I wasn't looking at Emily, but at her younger sister. You, Isabelle Moore."

"You have a sister?" Owen asks, but no one pays attention to him. He shakes his head, confused, and drops the plastic bag on a kitchen table.

"My sister is dead." Is says, but her voice trembles as if she's not really sure about it.

It takes me a big effort to make my legs move, but it's time to step between them. The woman evaluates me as I hide Is behind me; as if it was the first time she noticed I was still in the train car. She squints.

"Emily never told me about a brother." She says, calmly. I wonder if this woman has more than one tone of voice.

"I'm not her brother. And if you're here to hurt her you should leave now." I say, instinctively putting my hand on the gun that Is shoved in my belt last night and feeling a little surprise to find that it's still there.

"You can let the gun where it is. I have no intention to hurt you, especially now that I know who she is." She points her chin to my chest, and it takes me a while to realize that she's talking about Is. "On the other hand, I don't think Emily would be very pleased to know that you're dating such a rude boy, Isabelle."

Is suddenly stands by my side and I try to push her back again, but she won't let me.

"That's not my name anymore." She says, calmly and I see that aura of power around her. "You want to call me, you call me Is. And Emmett is not rude."

"I see." Evelyn says, looking at me with curiosity once more. I wish she'd just leave. "Now, _Is_, what do you think of a choice to work with your sister?"

"Work on what?"

"Work for me. All you'll have to do is infiltrate on a faction and keep me updated on what happens inside."

"She's not going anywhere." I say.

"I want to meet her first." Is says, ignoring me. "I will decide whether I'll accept your offer then."

Against my will, I turn around to face Is.

"You can't be serious! You…" But I stop complaining as I look at her expression. Her voice was calm but her face shows hanger and denial. Her lips are tightened as if she containing herself not to scream. Her eyes are greener than ever, reminding me of a cat and he keeps her look steady on Evelyn.

"Fair enough." Evelyn says. "I will tell her to pass by when I see her." Evelyn looks at the three of us one more time and turns to the door.

"One more thing," Is says. Evelyn has her hand on the door but turns around to face us. "If you're trying to trick us, I'm warning you that we're friends with Tobias Eaton."

I don't know what I was expecting to see when Is called out the name Four had given her. Maybe fear on Evelyn's eyes, or a laugh as she proved no one could scare her. But it sure wasn't what Evelyn let pass for a brief second. Her lips tightened as pain crossed her expression. The name Tobias passed through her mouth but no sound came out. Whoever this guy is, it means a lot to her.

Evelyn's expression turns back to normal and she nods. She leaves and the door is closed, leaving us on a weird darkness. The minutes pass as my eyes get used to the dark. No one says a word.

"I brought food." Owen says, on a low voice. And that's when I feel Is crushing against my chest. But for my own surprise she's not crying. She pulls me closer to her with all her strength and I can feel her hands turned to fists on my back.

"I went through sixteen years of misery because of a lie." She says and neither I nor Owen dare to say a word.

Both Is and Owen left after breakfast, leaving me alone on an empty train car. Owen said he was going to pack his stuff because he and Kate were going to sleep here tonight. Is just said she needed some time alone, shoved out a set of knives from her backpack – which surprised me as first, she doesn't like knives and second, I didn't know she had brought them - and left.

I tried to take a nap, but after lying thirty minutes on the bed I quitted. I'm not very good at cooking but I tried to prepare some sandwiches with the food Owen had brought. After that I changed clothes and left to go look for Is. It wasn't hard to find her. She was near that river Owen told us about. She looked sweaty and had the three knives on her hands. She put herself in position and threw the three knives at three different trees. She didn't miss any, but I wasn't expecting her to. Her aura was stronger than I'd ever seen. I remember when we'd played Capture the Flag and she had what was left of it when I found her. But I had never really seen her on a fight. Not like this.

I found myself a shadow and sit on the grass, my back lying against a tree. I don't remember for how long I stayed there, but at some point I decided to stand up and approach her.

As I walk towards her, Is doesn't seem to notice I'm coming, at least not until I see a knife coming through my direction. All I have time for is to tilt myself to the side so the knife cuts my arm instead of hitting my chest and killing me.

I hear myself cursing as I catch the knife from the grass and feel the warm blood draining through my arm. I hear Is calling out my name and in less than a minute she's standing by my side.

"What the hell did you think you're doing?!" She asks, panicking as she sees the blood. Her skin is paler than usual. She takes her T-shirt off, only keeping a tight sleeveless shirt, and wraps it around my arm, making pressure on the cut so it'll stop bleeding.

"Well, I understand that you feel supernatural when you're throwing knives, but you still need to eat Is." I say. She rolls her eyes to me.

"I have a first aid kit on my backpack. C'mon." She pulls me by the arm and takes me with her. A few minutes later my arm is washed and the cut is covered with a bandage.

I evaluate her as we eat. Her eyes seem to be back to its normal greenish brown colour and she's blushing a little. She actually looks a little more… homely in here.

"Does it hurt?" She asks, as I'm staring at the way her air curls in a cascade around her face. It actually makes me feel a little jealous that now that I'm used to be the only one to see it so messy after she wakes up, we'll have to share our sleeping place again.

"Huh… does what hurt?" She laughs as she looks at my confused expression.

"Your arm."

"Oh! No. It's fine." I say, checking on it. A pinkish stain is starting to appear on the white bandage.

She looks at it too. "Maybe you should rest. You're not used to losing blood."

I feel my lips forming a smile. "Will you rest with me?" I ask. She unconsciously bites her lip and looks at our unmade bed. I offer her my hand, the one which arm is not hurt. She looks into my eyes and I almost say maybe it's better not, but then she nods and takes my hand.

I lie just like I did last night, with my hand supporting my head, as I look at her. She's still only dressed with the black sleeveless shirt, which allows me to see the curves in her body. I move forward to kiss her as I let my hand move to her waist. She pulls me closer to her, and I feel what she's been holding the whole morning.

I feel her pain in the way she hesitates to kiss me, I feel her hanger in the way she pulls me closer to her, and most of all I feel her alive. I let my back fall to the back as she lies over me. She moves up, separating our lips. Her curls tickle my cheeks as she tries to calm down her breathing.

"So that's what my little sister has been up to?"

We both jump out of bed and stand up immediately. And I see a version of Is, a few inches taller and not as pretty. Her eyes aren't as greenish as Is's and the aura of power is missing. No, I could never mistake her for Is.

"We weren't expecting you so soon." Is says, a little in shock. Her lips are pressed together, and she looks at the girl in disbelief. In front of me is standing the one and only Emily Moore – _alive._


	21. Chapter Twenty One - Recruit

**A/N: Dear guest, thank you for reading! To tell the truth I have no idea what's going to happen from now forward. I'm thinking about keeping up with Emmett's POV for a few more chapters and then get back to Is's POV as I'm not really good at describing things from a guy's mind. But I'm always opened to suggestions (:**

**Chapter Twenty One – Recruit**

All my hopes that Evelyn could be lying vanish with those simple words and the vision of Emily Moore. No one could ever deny that she's Is's sister.

"Actually _I _wasn't expecting you at all." Is continues.

Emily presses her lips together as if Is's words had hurt her, something I couldn't believe. If she actually cared about her younger sister she would have shown up earlier. Actually, now that I think about it, how did she end up with the factionless when she was only three years old?

"I can explain." Emily said, however she didn't seem too sure of herself.

"I don't think your explanations will worth a damn to compensate what I had to go through, but go ahead." Is's voice was calm but offensive.

I couldn't quite decide what part was more shocking to me, Emily Moore standing in front of me, of Is's reaction to it.

Emily looks at me with her dark brown eyes for a second, as any girl would do while looking at her little sister's new boyfriend. But Emily is not Is's sister, not really, and I'm not Is's _new _boyfriend. Emily moves her eyes to Is once more.

"I'd prefer to do it alone, if you don't mind."

Is's calm seems to fade a little as Emily pronounces these words, but she doesn't break as I've been expecting her to do all along. On these moments, when it's really all about her, it's when she seems most fragile to me, when really it's all the way around.

Is looks at me, as though she was saying sorry and then nods to Emily. I want to object, but I know it's not up to me today. So I let my follow Is and the person in this world that is the closest to look like her that anyone could be go outside.

After counting to one hundred I walk towards the door and let myself crash right there, knowing that tomorrow I'll wake up with some bruises on my hand and on the back of my legs, on the place they hit the train car stairs.

They're talking about three hundred feet away from me, so I can hear screams every once in a while, but I don't understand what they say.

Their conversation seems to last forever as I watch Is moving her arms aggressively, and Emily about to crack in tears. At some point they sit, and Is's fury seems to calm down. The sunset is about to beginning when Is and Emily stand up, shake hands, and each of them leaves in opposite ways.

Is's walk is slow and she's looking down the whole time until she finds me still sitting on the stairs. None of us says a word. I open my arms to her and she nestles in my chest. I can tell that she's not crying, though I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I put my hand under her chin to look at her – I'm still in shock with everything that has happened but I have to be sure there are no permanent damages after today. No one that messes with my girlfriend will walk free, and her sister is not an exception, I can tell.

As I stare into her eyes, I noticed that they're still red – probably from crying while screaming – but she stares back at me, with life on them, I notice, relieved. Her expression is sad and confused, but it has nothing to do with the time I told her about her sister for the first time. That time it looked like something had turned off in that moment and she didn't care about life anymore. Since then the vision of that moment stalks me, remembering me how fragile she is, and how is important it is that I should protect her.

I don't know for how long I stare at her, but the moon is already up in the sky when we hear voices. I feel Is's fingers squeezing my arms and I tense up and look around. But then a thin blonde figure runs to us and forces Is out of my arms and I let myself relax, even though my heart is still beating at the speed of light. I almost forgot my sister and Owen were moving today!

I feel Owen passing through me with a fast "Hey man" and leaving the backpacks inside, just to come back again and sit by my side. We both watch Is and Kate talking at the speed of light, as only girls can do and still understand each other, for a moment until Owen breaks the silence.

"How's she doing?" He asks, carefully. I bet my expression still shows the state of shock I'm in.

"Sad, confused, scared." I say, trying to sum up everything. "Emily passed by. They talked. Is cried and screamed. Then they sit and talked more. And then she came back and didn't say a word." The words came out without me meaning to say them and I feel an urge to cry, so I stare at the moon, forcing the tears to dry even before they drop.

"She'll be fine. We're here for her. We all owe her that."

Owen's words surprise me and I look at him. He's still staring at Is and Kate as if giving me privacy, as if he knew I was about to cry. But not just that. He's looking at them with adoration in his eyes; and suddenly I'm sure my sister couldn't have found a better boyfriend and Is couldn't have trusted a better friend.

I look back at the girls. They're not fast speed talking anymore. They're hugging and whispering and looking at me and Owen every once in a while, what is making me a little nervous. Kate used to do that with me and other girls. She would tell me they were pretty and that they liked me, but I never cared. Or maybe she just never noticed that Is was a girl too.

I let them be and stare at the moon. The tears are gone buy now, but the moon is full and I like to stare at it when it looks like this. Back on the Dauntless compound we didn't have much of a chance to do it.

At some point Owen stands up, muttering something about being hungry and going for dinner. That's about the same time Kate walks inside after him and I'm left with Is once more. I want to look at her, but I'm afraid of what I'll see, so I keep my eyes locked with the moon.

I can feel her staring at me, making it hard not to look down, but after a few seconds she moves forwards to me; her hand slowly touches somewhere above my hip and beside my stomach. Her skin is cold, but I feel her touch warm and a chill passes through my spine.

I finally look down and hold my breath when I see that she's closer than I though. She gets on her tip toes and I feel the space between us closing as our lips touch. It's a fast kiss. A I'm-fine-you-don't-need-to-worry kiss. But I'm always worried. I take her face in my hands and care her in the cheek, before I let her speak, as I know she will.

She sits by my side and takes a deep breath. I take her hands to warm them up.

"Emily said Evelyn took her from her kindergarten when she was three. At that time she was forming teenagers to become spies for her. She liked to make job offers to Candor member as those were trained not to lie, and one day she heard some of those teenagers talking about a little girl who was said to be the next Candor leader. A girl that was born a _real _Candor. Emily didn't need to be told not to lie. She was born with that gift." Is makes a pause to make sure I'm keeping up with the story and I nod to her.

"So Evelyn gave her this serum to make her forget everything from her previous life and took care of her until she was twelve. Then told her the truth; she told her she could go back to the Candor faction or she could stay with Evelyn and be trained as though she belonged to every faction. Then when she turned sixteen she'd choose one of the factions and spy for Evelyn."

Is pauses once more, giving me time to let her words sink in. I try to remember what was Emily wearing today and it hits me – she chose the enemy faction. Even though Emily Moore wasn't wearing their classic glasses, she had tight blue jeans and a sea blue shirt. Erudite clothes.

"Is, you didn't tell her we're…" I don't need to finish my sentence. Is shakes her head immediately.

"It's our secret." She whispers and I pull her closer to me as I have a flashback of all the stories I've heard about Erudite people killing Divergent; a flashback of Maeve's blood mixed with the water from the chasm. "She also told me what Evelyn is expecting me to do." I make a confuse look. Hadn't Evelyn told us that already? "I mean _which faction _she wants me to choose."

"And which one is it?"

"Abnegation."

"Abnegation?" I shake my head, not really keeping up with it. Why would Evelyn need to have spies on the Abnegation faction? Don't the Abnegation members cooperate with the factionless?

She shrugs.

"Maybe it's because of the Government…?"

"Yes, because you're great with politics."

She lets out a laugh and rolls her eyes to me.

"You're over reacting Emmett. What's the matter?" She puts her hand in my cheek, to calm me down.

"I don't know." I shake my head and look down but she keeps her hand steady. "I just don't trust her. Neither of them." And then, realizing how my words must have sounded to her, I look up again, but Is doesn't seem to be disturbed – she doesn't trust them either. But she wants to do it anyways; I can see it in her eyes. I should've guessed that this – staying here with nothing to do – wasn't for her. Even though the woman she's willing to work for is the one who made her have the life she hates so much.

"Wherever you go, I'll be right behind you."

She smiles and I notice she's blushing, but I can't be sure if that's from the cold or because of something I said.

"I wasn't expecting anything less, Mr. Hills. But I would prefer if you stood by my side." I could swear her eyes sparkled and turned a little more greener when she said Mr. Hills.

A voice speaks behind us and we both jump.

"Yeah, yeah. Enough of your couple talking for the night. We all know how romantic you two are. Now let's go inside, shall we? Dinner is ready." Of course my sister had to ruin everything with her bad sarcasm.

Is stands up but I stop her by putting my arm around her waist and pulling her to my chest. Her curls tickling my chin and neck.

"Afraid of taking the front, _Miss Moore?" _I whisper to her hear and kiss her in the neck before I let her go inside pretending to be outraged, but her smile ruins the whole thing.

**A/N: Idk, things are getting a little weird. I'm a little out of ideas and out of time as well. But as always, please review.  
Best, Is.**


	22. Note

Hey everyone!

This is just a fast message. I don't usually do this but I haven't been here in a BIG while, so I thought I should just say I'm still alive and going to keep up with the story.

But, first of all, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?! Did they change the font, cause it actually scared me when I typed and then clicked enter. IT WAS DIFFERENT. IT STILL IS. I hope this is not my laptop breaking (again).

Second of all, I'm obviously going to say my sorries for not having posted anything. I was ill and I couldn't literally go on my laptop. Or do anything else really. I got better a few days ago though, but I had school work to do, so the story had to wait. But now, here I am. Once again, I'm sorry.

Anyways, thank you so much on the reviews. I sure did not expect them after such a crappy chapter. I promise I'll try to do better.

In any case, I'm working on my story right now, and hopefully I'll be able to post it in a couple of hours. If not, I'll post it tomorrow.

Wish you the best,  
Is.


	23. Chapter Twenty Two - New Faction

**Chapter Twenty Two – A new faction**

Even though I kind of liked our train car I'm glad we didn't really get to unpack stuff. It would have made all of these changes much harder. So the next morning when, we're all awake, we have breakfast together and then I and Is take our bags and leave the train car to not come back again.

"Evelyn should be waiting for you at the factionless centre." Kate says as we wait for a train. "She's always there."

"We shall do as you say. Thank you for everything guys." Is says, hugging Owen.

"Getting emotional there?" Kate says, pushing her shoulder, but then taking her on a hug too. She lets go of Is and then hugs me. "Why are you always running every time I think I finally have you back?" She asks, as she lets go of our hug.

Looking at her sad expression I don't really know what to say; so I stick to the truth.

"I think this time's for real." I say and we both look at Is for some reason.

"Unfortunately, I agree." She says. "Goodbye Emmett."

I shake my head, confused.

"You guys are not coming with us on the train?"

She bites her lip and shakes her head. "I have a holiday today, so I guess I'll just stay by the train car. The one you _happily_ left for me and Owen."

I'm about to complain when I hear the train coming. Is takes my hand and looks at me and Kate, wondering if we should go or not.

"Behave yourselves!" I say. And then start running.

It takes us quite a while to find what Kate referred to as the "factionless centre". I was expecting to find this huge building like the Centre, but in fact it's just some old buildings where the factionless people sleep. Another thing I was hoping for was to find Evelyn waiting for us, but she's nowhere to be seen.

I exchange a look with Is, making sure this is what she really wants, and after getting and affirmative answer we walk inside the unknown buildings.

The lack of people at this time of the day makes the place look a little morbid to me. I decide to keep this thought to myself, though.

As we keep going through corridors we finally find living soul. Well, actually too many living souls. Apparently they have a communitarian bathroom where the factionless are showering at this exact moment. As we approach the door of the foggy room, I notice a girl with only a towel covering up her body and I look away, thanking god it's the ladies' room and not the men's room – there are some things I would rather that Is didn't see and one of them is definitely guys showering.

I pull by Is's hand so we can move faster. She doesn't seem to notice – I wonder what goes in her mind – so I pull more insistently until she notices me. Once she does, we almost run down the hall, ending up by crashing into two tall guys.

After we all take a couple of steps back so we can look at each others, they both raise their eyebrows to us.

"We're looking for Evelyn." I say. "Do you know where she is?"

The guy that's standing on the left – a dirty brown haired guy with brown eyes – takes his time before he answers.

"What would you want with Evelyn?" His voice is not nice so I instinctively drive my hand to my gun and push Is backwards. The guys notice my gun and the one who'd talked before raises his arms.

"Fine. I'll take you to her office." He says, exchanging some words with the other guy and then turning around. "Follow me."

I shove the gun back into my belt and start walking through confusing halls once more. After what seems to be a too long walk, we stop in front of a slightly opened door.

"Wait here." The brown haired guy says, without waiting for an answer. He enters the room. We don't have to wait much though before he's back outside. He nods to the door, allowing us inside.

"Thank you." I rush to him, before entering the room he just got out from.

By looking around I can tell that not even the factionless leader has rights of luxury. The "office" actually only has a big table on the centre of the room – no chairs – and some full occupied book shelves.

Evelyn hides what she was doing on the table before focusing her attention on us.

"I see you've made a choice. And you wouldn't probably make all your way here just to refuse my offer would you?" Although her so wise choice of words, the factionless leader doesn't seem to be sure of herself.

Against my will, I leave it to Is to decide what happens from now on.

"We're here to accept your offer - under certain conditions." Is says.

Evelyn presses her lips together, obviously not enjoying the way our conversation is leading, but she nods.

After two hours of explanations from both Is and Evelyn sides, and a lot of patience from my side, everything seems to be set for us to join our new faction tonight.

"But first of all, I think we all deserve a good lunch." Evelyn says, as she locks the door behind her.

In less than five minutes we've joined a group of factionless that are passing bowls with food around. Evelyn takes one, sips from it, and then passes it to us.

After a moment of hesitation, Is takes the bowl and drinks from the soup as well. When she lends it to me, I dry swallow as I think of what I'm about to do, but take the soup anyways.

After the soup it gets easier to eat from what's on the other bowls. When we're satisfied with our lunch, Evelyn takes us away from the group once more. All the time we were there everyone was very quiet, but once we leave they start talking and laughing. My thinking? It wasn't because of me and Is – it was because of Evelyn. I wonder how this woman got to be their leader, and further than that, how does she keep everything so organised...

"I'm arranging a meeting with Marcus Eaton – one of the representatives of the Abnegation faction – at this exact moment. He'll know I'm the one who's sending you, but you're the ones who'll have to show him your... situation. Just say what we agreed and everything should work out fine."

She pauses to make sure we're keeping up with her. As the moment approaches I get more and more nervous. In a couple of hours we'll be joining what will be our home for a few time, or, who knows, for the rest of our lives. I'm not sure if I'd be happy working for such an untrustable woman.

"Now, before we head there, there are some rules you need to learn about the Abnegation faction. As you know, selfless is what they care the most about. As long as you act selfless, no one will bother you. But in order to do that, you'll have to abdicate from some things from your past life."

"What do you mean by abdicate?" I ask.

"Well, you see, Abnegation members don't see affection as an important thing in life. And I've seen how you two seem to be very close. That'll have to end, if..."

"You want us to break up just because of whatever you're doing?!" I almost shout to her. "No way!"

"Emmett calm down!" Is says, but I can see that she's freaking out inside too. Her eyes are too opened. She puts her hand on my arm to keep me calm, but turns to Evelyn. "Emmett's right. We're staying together, no matter what."

Evelyn doesn't seem to have an answer for us.

"Very well." She ends up saying. "I'll make sure to try to keep you two together. But all I can assure you is that you'll be able to live in the same house. You'll have to work it out if you want to work together. But remember. All your – love demonstrations – should be kept to yourselves, inside your house."

I open my mouth to complain, but Is stops me.

"We will try. After all we're the ones signing up for it." I stare at her in disbelief, but she ignores me. "Anything else?"

"Well, I've noticed you have tattoos. You'll have to hide those as well. All the rest was discussed earlier today."

Is nods. "If that is all..."

"It is. I'm going to get your clothes now. If you want to get a shower and clean yourselves up, I can show you our bathrooms." Evelyn offers.

"We're good. We'd just like some time alone."

Once again, Evelyn nods.

"I'll be meeting you here within half an hour then." I wait for her to become a shadow in the horizon before I turn to Is.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! I should have never agreed with doing this!" I shout to her.

She looks at me with her eyes starting to tear, and I force myself to calm down.

"Why, Is? Why do you want this so hard?" I put my hands in my face and close my eyes, trying my best to understand her.

"Because it's the best place to hide." Her voice is low and tin, as though she's about to cry. I look up and find her staring right at me, worried.

"Hide?" I shake my head, confused.

And all of a sudden, she breaks.

"I'm scared, Emmett. Can't you see that? After Maeve, I just... I've been so afraid of what we are. And the thought that we can't simply change, we can't become normal, it consumes me! I just thought that if we moved to the Abnegation faction, we'd be safer there. We'd have a reason to stay away from the Erudite. But the only way we could ever do that was through..."

"Evelyn." I say, finally understanding her.

I pull her closer to me, shoving the tears out of her face as I feel her curly hair tickling me. Her greenish brown eyes are shining, but her expression is sad. How could I have missed that? I kiss her forehead, but no more than that – from now on, we're Abnegation members.

"It'll be fine." I say. "We're going to be fine."

An hour later we're reaching the Abnegation faction, with our brand new Abnegation clothes already on. I can see their grey houses less than a mile away. I've always wondered if they could distinguish their own house from distance, as they all look the same.

Evelyn gave us some instructions to meet Marcus Eaton at his house. As we walk I can see some teenagers playing with each other as they walk back home. They seem to be heading the same street as us. Four teenagers that will soon be picking their lives – I wonder if any of them will have to go through the same as we will.

I watch the teenagers split in two groups; a boy and a girl for each side. We follow what must be a brother and a sister, except they're nothing alike. The girl is blonde and short, while the boy has dark hair, straighter than mine, and it's much taller than the girl. Although they're both thin. They talk every once in a while, but most of their way is made in silence.

"Emmett, did you hear me?" Is wakes me up to reality.

"I'm sorry, what?" I look at her and her expression seems concerned.

"I was saying that Marcus's house must be somewhere around here. Look at the numbers."

My eyes look in the direction her thin finger is pointing to and see that she's right. A few houses down we find the number we're looking for. _This is it. There's no turning back once we walk in that door._

Together, we walk into the porch and knock on the door. Not two minutes later a man opens it for us. Marcus Eaton is a strong man, not as tall as me, but still quite tall. I could swear his eyes were the exact same tone of blue as Four's – odd isn't it? But it's still funny that we move to one faction to the other, just to find the same dark blue eyes to boss us around.

"Evelyn sent you?" He asks. Not very Abnegation of him to not invite us in first, I've got to say.

"Actually no." Is says. I immediately look at her, surprised. This is not what Evelyn told us to do. "Tobias sent us." She continues, firmly.

I do my best to hide my confusion, obviously failing. Where did that come from?

"He did?" Marcus asks, in disbelief.

"Yes. He said you'd protect us if we told you he sent us."

Marcus checks us out for a brief moment before he fully opens his door to us, letting us in. The room we enter is pretty simple – the Abnegation members are known for only having what is strictly necessary.

He gestures for us to sit on his couch and we do as he says. He takes a chair and gently starts speaking.

"Well, you probably know that these are not usual circumstances and that's why I can't simple tell you to join our simple faction." He makes a pause, as though giving us time to let his works sink in. "So, if you don't mind, I'd have to ask you why you aren't on a faction at the moment?"

Once more, Is immediately takes the lead. She looks down, pretending to be ashamed, and I have to admit that I never thought she was this good of an actress. Maybe she'll be the one to keep us safe.

"We missed the Choosing Ceremony." She says, keeping her eyes locked with the ground.

This time, Marcus is the one who needs to take a moment to let Is's words sink in. I bet this isn't something he hears every day.

"You missed it?" We both nod quietly to him. He nods too, closing his eyes, just to open them right after. "And may I know why?"

"I was in hospital." Is says, calmly. Even I couldn't tell she was lying. "And Emmett- he- we're dating." She says, as though she was doing something she wasn't supposed to. "And I asked him to stay with me. I thought I was going to die." Her voice slowly starts breaking as she's about to cry, but I know her eyes are dry.

Marcus lets out a deep breath as he thinks about our situation.

"And you know Tobias?"

"Yes. He said you'd understand our situation and help us." I didn't know exactly what she was doing there, but Abnegates can't deny helping us can they?

After a few minutes of silence – that let's just state seemed like hour to me – Marcus stands up and offers us his hand.

"Welcome to your second home." His voice is still kind and his smile seems to be genuine, although it doesn't reach his eyes. So when I shake his hand and smile, I'm thinking: If only you knew...

**A/N: Once more, I have to say I'm sorry, because I said I was going to post this earlier, but I didn't get to. But here it is anyways. I think this one got a little better than the ones I've been posting lately but still not that good. Although, it's really YOUR opinion that counts, so please review (:**

**Best, Is. **


	24. Chapter Twenty Three - No where's Safe

**A/N: Hey guys! It's been I while, I guess. First of all I'd like to thank this girl who posted a review for chapter, it was really funny and it meant a lot. She also asked some questions I'll be answering now (just pass this onto the chapter if you don't want to read the Q&A).**

**Is Emmett going to narrate all the chapters from now on (this one was made by a guest a while ago)? **Well, surprise surprise, I'm done with Emmett's POV. I figured there won't be much going on on the Abnegation compound so I might as well try out some of my other ideas. Please tell me if this is too confusing for you, or if it's a good idea. Idk, I thought it'd make things a little more interesting. (:

**Is your name Is too? **My name is Inês, which is said to be quite hard to pronounce in other languages, so my cousins started to call me Is. Later on when I made new foreign friends they asked me if Is stood for Isabelle, and, obviously, I told them it didn't, but in my mind I thought "thank you for picking my next new character's name".

**Are Is and Emmett going to be friends with Tris? **Idk, I'd like to stay true with the really story, and well, my characters aren't on Veronica Roth's amazing books as I was the one to create them, so Tris never gets to meet them. So, probably she won't know them, at least until the end of Insurgent (as in a chronological time line).

**And will Tris be Four's girlfriend? **Definitely! :D I ship Fourtris like hell and I would never separate those two, so yes, if I get to write that much, Fourtris will happen.

**When will your story end (asked on tumblr)? **I'm not sure. I've seen the end coming a few times now. It's hard for me to keep updating because of school and extra stuff I have, plus I'm getting out of ideas as I said, so accept the possibility of this story ending anytime.

**I think this was all, but if you have any further questions go ahead and ask them. And I'm sorry if it bothers you that I'm posting this with my chapters but this was the only place I could post it so that everyone could see it. Now your chapter:**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE – No where's Safe**

**EMMETT'S POV**

After Marcus gives us the keys to our new house and promises to meet us the next morning in order to assign us in our new jobs, we leave immediately – no Abnegate would want to bother another at this time of the day.

Our house is not far, and our backpacks are not heavy, but we still take a while to get there. We're enjoying the new sense of safety that hit both of us when Marcus welcomed us as new Abnegation members.

There were stars on the dark sky and the moon was on its waning gibbous. I looked at it and almost smiled, but I felt something missing – Is's hand on mine. I knew it'd have to be like this from now on, but it didn't mean I had to like it, or even get used to it.

I let my eyes move from the stars to my own shining star. She is walking quietly a few steps ahead of me, and completely focused on her inner thoughts, as only Is could be. I watch her curly hair dangling on her back.

I look at closest house and check the number above its front door – 136. I take the tiny key Marcus had handed me out of my pocket, moving my eyes from the houses to the shiny gray key. I was quite surprised when Marcus gave it to _me, _as Is was the one to do all the talking, but I took it without a word. It had our door number in it – 144. So this is our street.

I look around, once more. There's no one on the streets. I guess that in a cold night like this, everyone would rather be inside their houses. I wonder if Abnegates have a fire place. The Autumn is pretty much knocking on our door, as my mom would say, and I don't think I can actually survive without a fire place to warm me up at night.

That's when I see it – number 144. It's a house just like every other house in the Abnegation compound, but for some reason, it looks special. It's our house. It's now our bed, it's not our room, and it's not even our abandoned train car. It's our _home_.

I notice that Is passes our house without noticing it – still lost in her own thoughts, I'm guessing.

"Love?" I call out. She looks back, with her eyebrows arched and a confusion look in her eyes. I strain not to laugh. "This is it. Our home."

She looks at it, as if she'd only noticed the houses now. Then she smiles. "I like it. It's gray." She says, as if that was something hard to found. Once more, I try not to laugh.

"Yeah?" I ask; my tone of voice betraying me. "What colour are the others for you?"

She rolls her eyes to me, as I'd expected her to do.

"What I meant is that it's the combination of all our factions. Candor's black and white, Dauntless black and now Abnegation gray. It's us." She explains, making me smile with the truthfulness of her words.

"Let's just go inside." I climb to the porch and use the key to open the door. After the unusual click meaning that the door is unlocked I let Is in before me, and then close the door behind us.

None of us knows exactly what to do once we're inside, so drop our bags in the floor and make our way to the kitchen – the last time we actually saw food was when we were having lunch with Evelyn and the other factionless members.

After that we end up falling asleep in the couch. Somewhere before lying down next to Is and closing my eyes I remember thinking: _It has a fireplace!_

**KATE'S POV**

I take a look at my wrist watch. It's past eleven o'clock already. I can almost see Owen going nuts because I'm two hours late already; but I had to keep my promise. Although I have to say it, Isabelle could have made things a little easier for me.

As soon as I was done with my work for the day, which was around six in the afternoon today, I made my way back to the factionless centre. I was wearing black clothes, as I did most times since I started dating Owen – he said it'd stop people from looking at me so often, and turns out, it did. The only person it doesn't stop is the actual Owen. He also said it made me look fearless and he liked that. I'm still trying to decide which of the reasons makes me want to dress like this.

In either way, the clothes have been coming in hand lately. The fact that I'm less noticeable allows me to walk around the factionless without being interrupted.

I knew exactly where Zander was waiting for me. When I turn right I immediately see his red hair. I wonder how he is so discrete when he has to walk around with a torch like that on his head.

"Hey, Blondie." He says when I reach him.

"Do you really want to have this fight again, Carrot?" I ask. I had no patience or time for his jokes now.

He laughs. "Fair enough."

"So…?" I ask. "What did you find out?" Zander and I have been taking turns at keeping an eye on Evelyn and an hear on everyone that can be possibly meeting her under secrecy. Of course I could just ask Owen to do it full time, as instead of having a real job he spends his days making our train car look more homely, but I could never let him take that risk. Plus, Isabelle asked me, and not him.

"Nothing." He shrugs.

"What you mean nothing? We heard her saying she was going to get updated _today_!" I nearly shout.

"Shh!" He looks around, but I knew there was no one on this hall at this time of the day. That's why I chose it as our rendez-vous. "Whatever it is, it hasn't happened yet."

I let out a deep breath. Of course she wouldn't do it in the middle of the afternoon where anyone would know where and who she was with.

"I'm sorry." I say. "This whole thing has been getting me on my nerves."

"I know, Blondie. I miss you too."

I roll my eyes to him.

"Have you found a new roommate yet?" I ask. Apparently he's been having trouble finding one, which I find quite strange, since almost everyone would give anything to actually get to live in an apartment.

"No." He shrugs, not making a big deal out of it.

"Have you actually _told _anybody you're looking for a roommate?"

He doesn't answer me, which I take as a no.

"What's really been stopping you, Zander?" I'd ask him this question uncountable times now, but he always comes up with a vague answer.

"I don't know." He shrugs once more. "I guess I just haven't found the right person yet."

"You're looking for a roommate, not a bride, Z." He makes a weird expression, which makes me wonder if he is _actually_ looking for a bride.

"Well, then I just guess it won't happen. Can we please talk about something else?" He tries to look annoyed, but he can't fool me. I, being a Candor, can sense the sadness in his voice. I wonder what the real deal is.

"Sure. How about we go get ourselves something to eat? Looks like we have a long wait ahead of us anyways."

So now I'm waiting outside the conference room. Zander managed to get inside the room right after them, but I wasn't fast enough. There weren't many places to hide in there but he's been there for over forty five minutes now and I haven't heard any screaming, or in the worst case, any gunshot.

Is told me that whatever it was that Evelyn was doing was dangerous. Other way, why would she need spies in every faction? Especially on the influence factions: Abnegation and Erudite.

For the first time on an hour I hear a noise and almost too late I get away from the door and hide in darkness. I watch the same people that entered the room coming out – including Evelyn, who locks the door.

I have to wait until they're far enough to unlock him. I take one of my hair pins out of my head and use it to open the door. Within seconds I hear the familiar click and the door opens. In the past two days I've spent more time studying this room than I'd like. Unfortunately all those books and papers Evelyn kept were maps and texts that made no sense for me.

I look around the room. Zander was sitting on a corner, hidden by a book shelf. I could tell he hadn't moved since the meeting or conference or whatever it was finished. His expression went from shocked, to confused, to terrified.

I approached him and got on my knees.

"Z, what is it?" I ask, my voice shaking.

He doesn't answer me. I take his arms and shake him.

"Zander!"

He looks up to me. And I see the fear in his eyes.

"This is way bigger than we thought, Kate." Bad sign. He never called me Kate. "They're creating a war between the factions!"

**EMMETT'S POV**

I wake up to the sound of knocking on the front door. The couch is small so Is is sort of sleeping over me. I was always fascinated by how weightless her body seems when she lied over me like this.

"Is! Wake up." She makes a funny whale noise, but raises her head to look at me.

We hear the knock on the door again.

She immediately stands up and looks around, confused. I feel like laughing, but instead I stand up as well and go open the door. Marcus Eaton enters our living room and looks around with a smile on his face

"I don't know what've heard about our faction, but we do have bedrooms upstairs, you know?"

Is looks at me, in confusion and I can tell she'd sleep a few more hours.

"We were just tired. We came here straight from the hospital." I say, trying to sound convincing. "Want some breakfast?" I ask, as I gesture to our kitchen.

He walks towards it and I follow. Is comes right behind us – she finally seems to be joining us in reality.

"No thank you. I've already ate and food is a precious gift." He says.

I nod to him, as I look for bowls, spoons, a box of cereals and a bottle of milk in the still unknown shelves. Marcus and Is maintain an awkward silence.

Once our food is in the table I turn to Marcus.

"I'm assuming you came here to assign us to our new jobs?" I ask.

"Indeed." He says. "Although I have to apologize. Usually we like to allow our members to choose the job that fits them best, but as you two came late, you'll have to take the one that has less people in it."

"It alright." I say. "We're open to anything."

Marcus smiles to us – the same smile that doesn't reach his eyes that he had yesterday.

"Then I guess you'll be working in the faction tests sector. All you have to do is attend to some classes and help creating the stages of the new test for next year. Fortunately you'll be able to work together."

My mind only processes part of what he says. Faction test. Classes. The first remembering us of our divergence and the second mean having to work with Erudite members, even if just for a short time.

So much for our safety.


	25. Chapter Twenty Four

**Chapter Twenty-Four **

**KATE'S POV**

I wake up right before sun rising – which is quite late since we're in the winter now. My head is still fizzy and my back hurts. I look around and find Zander lying next to me on a deep sleep, occupying nearly the whole bed – no wonder on where the pain on my back comes from.

Still fizzy I get up to search for a pencil and a sheet of paper. Once I have them I write a fast note.

_Left early. See you tonight. I need to know every detail. DON'T LEAVE HOME. And don't freak out! X's. Blondie._

I leave the note on the bad table and stare at him for a few seconds. His expression his softer but you can still find traces of fear and panic in it. His ginger hair curled up with sweat and his hands closed in fists.

I take a deep breath and leave, knowing I'm only getting ready to another fight. Unfortunately there appears to be a problem with the train ferries and I have to wait for the bus that'll get me near the Amity fields and then take another two hours walk before I actually get home.

As I'm sitting on the bus, I'm thinking how the hell am I supposed to contact Is now. I obviously can't just walk inside the Abnegation faction and ask for her. And sending her mail would be too risky, not to mention that I don't even know her address. So I guess I'll just have to wait for her to contact me; or hope that we'll bump into each other on the factionless territory.

The bus lefts me right outside the Amity faction, continuing its way inside the faction I'm not allowed to go inside. That's one thing I've always found weird about the Amity people. They're so isolated. If you belong to any other faction, unless you get an authorization they won't let you in. I figure it must be because it's where they produce our food and therefore it's one of the most sacred places inside the whole Chicago, if not the most sacred of them all.

After staring at the Amity Gates, if you can call them that – it's just really a wooden fence that obviously anyone could jump over but no one does – I turn around and start my long walk.

About one hour and fifty minutes later I see my train car in the distance. No sign of Owen so far. I hope he didn't decide to go look for me or that would put me into even more trouble.

When I finally have a full vision of our train car I smile. Owen's sleeping on the entrance stairs with his gun carelessly lying on his lap. I run to him as silently as possible and take the gun from him, shoving it in my jeans back pocket. Then I low myself in order to kiss him in the forehead and he wakes up with my touch.

I step backwards to let him stand, although he keeps the sitting position. His bright golden eyes stare back at me full of emotion, but he's not mad. Something good about Owen: if he loves you, he'll never get mad. Something bad about me: he might not be mad, but I always manage to make him sad. Curse you Kate.

"I'm sorry." I say, voice trembling.

However he just stares back at me, as if expecting me to keep talking. But I won't. I can't.

"You've been up to something dangerous haven't you?" Another thing about Owen I haven't quite figured if it's good or bad: he's smarter than he looks. Hopefully on extreme situations this quality will do him good.

I look down, giving him a confirmation.

He sighs and unexpectedly pulls me to a tight hug.

"Just try to warn me next time, okay?" He almost begs. I carefully take his face on my hands, and kiss him, saying I will.

And that's exactly what I have to tell him tonight; and probably many other nights from now on, but not without the guilt consuming me as though it was a flame.

I head back to my old apartment, where I'm hoping Zander stayed at. But when I get there I find that my hopes served me nothing. He isn't there, and neither is my note. Deciding that he'll have to come back in a way or another, I lie on the couch and wait for him.

Not five minutes later, my eyelashes become too heavy and I'm asleep.

**FOUR'S POV**

Even though it's late in the night, I'm still wide awake. My heartbeat is still fast from my fear landscape and my hand is bleeding from my wall punching. Four fears last year, four fears now. Guess I'll never get rid of this stupid nickname.

Sometimes I wish people could call me by my own name, but then the memories of my past – my dad sending me to the closet or hitting me with his belt – flash in my head and I regret wishing.

Every since Is and Emmett left I've been thinking about leaving. Well I thought about it before that, Dauntless hasn't turned out to be exactly what I expected, but I had nowhere to go. Now, even though I think I do have a place with my mom if I ask for it, I've already applied to train the next class of initiates so I'll have to hold on until then. Even so, I'm a little reluctant on asking her for shelter. I mean, she's the one who's been playing dead all this years, why should I want to turn things around now and allow myself to have a mother?

I reach the nursery and I find Lauren and Zeke there with his little brother. The kid's always up to something so he's probably beaten the record of who spends more nights in one of these beds. I wonder where his girl friends are. Lynn, Uriah and Marlene are known for trying to break _every _rule ever made in this compound. At first, I thought it was too childish of them, now that I know Eric's in charge of keeping the order inside this place; I even give them tips about how to escape him.

"What happened to you?" Lauren asks, making Zeke's eyes leaving his brother from one second to look at me.

"Tripped and figured I'd rather injure my hand than my face." I say, not really trying to sound sarcastic, but it's the only way I can sound lately.

Lauren rolls her eyes to me.

"Just give me your hand, will you?" I thank god Lauren's the one in here and not Shauna. She'd have made a drama out of it. Lauren says she's got a thing for me, but first, I don't have a thing for her, second, I've seen the way Zeke looks at her, so I might as well leave them be.

Zeke's a cool guy, takes care of his family and most times of Marlene and Lynn too. I think partly because Lynn is Shauna's sister, but as long as he does the right thing, no one complains.

"How about the kid?" I ask him. "What trouble did he get into this time?"

Zeke sighs and leaves his brother's side to joins me and Lauren, while the last is putting some ligatures around my knuckles.

"He wouldn't say." He looks concerned. "And guess what? Me, Lauren, Mike and Shauna went to look for his friends – no sign of them. Shau and Mike are still looking."

Mike is Lauren's boyfriend. There's not much left to say about him, as usually his girlfriend does the talking. He's one year older than us so I don't even know his dauntless style very well, only that he's quite muscled and likes zeppelin.

That exact moment we hear noise behind us and Mike, Shauna, Lynn and Marlene enter the nursery. Shauna's pulling Lynn by her ear while Marlene and Mike walk awkwardly behind them.

"Let go of me!" Lynn complains, nearly screaming.

"Even though I love to wake up to the sound of your marvellous voice, would you please _shut up_, Lynn?!" We all turn to face Uriah, who just woke up. Only now I'm seeing the full damage. Apparently he hit with his head and his arms are full of bruises and cuts. Marlene's arms appear to be on the same condition, but Lynn looks fine – if you forget the red ear Shauna's causing her.

"Uriah!" Marlene runs to him. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. As I've always said – made of stone." He smiles to her. But Zeke soon cuts them off.

"This is not a joke, Uriah. You could be dead." He says.

"Well, I guess then you'd have one less person to care about wouldn't you?" Uriah hisses him back.

Zeke ignores him, but I can see the pain in his eyes.

"What were you doing in the chasm? I've told you that that's no place to play!"

"We weren't playing!" Uriah says. "We went down, and when we were climbing up-" He suddenly stops himself and we all feel the tension between him and Marlene. She was there when it happened.

"You _went _down?" Zeke's voice is starting to show hanger. "On your own? Are you insane?"

"I've lived here are my life Zeke, for Dauntless sake. And I wasn't on my own, Marlene was with me."

"You're kids! Both of you!" Marlene and Uriah make an offended expression and I see that this isn't leading Zeke anywhere. I put a hand on his shoulder and he looks at me, as if saying "what?!"

"It's over now Zeke. That's what matters. He'll be okay." I say.

"And just because he's okay now I should pretend like nothing happened and let him keep trying to kill himself at every chance he gets to do it?!" Zeke shouts at me.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself!" Uriah complains.

"_Uriah!_"

"Zeke." Both I and Marlene speak at the same time.

Zeke shakes his head before turning around and leaving the room.

"I think you guys should go and calm him down." I say to Lauren and Shauna. Shauna seems a little redundant about leaving Lynn here, but Lauren takes her by one hand and Mike by the other and they leave.

Marlene, Uriah and Lynn all sigh with relief at the same time. Lynn moves her hand to her ear as though making sure it's still on its place.

"Thanks Four." Uriah says, resting against his pillow. By the way Lynn glances at them; I'm not the only one noticing the way Marlene unconsciously shoves Uriah's hair away from his eyes.

"Don't thank me before you tell me what really happened." They all start to complain at the same time and for a second I wonder how this three are going to make it alive once they all get married and have their own families and won't be able to do every single thing together.

"I'm still waiting." I say, interrupting they're complaining.

"Promise you won't tell." Uriah demands. Marlene gives him a look. "It's okay Mar, we can trust him." He nods to her and then looks back at me.

"You have my word." I say, wondering what can be such a big deal for three people who don't have a care in the world.

They tell their story, fully detailed, and by the time they end I finally understand why they're so frightened – and if they're right, they should be.

"So you're saying that you think Eric threw a knife at you when you were climbing up?" I ask my mouth slightly open with disbelief.

"No. We're saying we're _sure _Eric did it." Lynn says. "I saw him leaving the Pit."

"You're aware that doesn't prove anything right?" I say.

"We're not exactly trying to put him in trial either Four." Uriah mumbles. One thing I like about this kid: nothing can stop him. Lauren is lucky she'll get to train him next year – no doubts he'll choose Dauntless.

"And what is your theory on why he did it?" I knew why he'd done it – there's only one reason Eric kills people in here; he's afraid of their Divergence – but they're just kids, they haven't even been through their faction test yet, how could he be sure about which one of them, if one of them actually was a Divergent?

"Well it's obvious isn't it? We pissed him off enough times." Marlene says. I look at her and in my head I'm asking her, _Is it you? You're the one he's looking for?_ But how could she know?

In any case, they have a reason and if Eric makes any attempt with more witnesses they have motive. Not that I'm sure it still matters now that Marcus is leading us. I wish my old trainer Amar would still be among us – he'd know what to do – but Eric killed him in cold blood, just like I feared he'd do when I found out about Amar's Divergence.

"I'd put my hands on fire to say that that won't stop you from getting in any more trouble." I say. The three of them smile back at me with a new fire in his eyes – they'll do worse from now on. If it were any other three kids, I'd be concerned. But they know what they're getting themselves into, and they have me – for now. "Just stay together all of you, and whatever you do, keep your eyes opened."

"Don't worry." Uriah says, and then he looks at his friends. "If it weren't for these two pansy cakes I'd probably be decomposing in the chasm right now."

The friendly fight starts immediately as Marlene and Shauna start tickling him – don't mistake them, they'd beat him if he wasn't nearly dead – and I stand up to leave.

"Look out for those three." I ask the chief nurse and she nods at me.

Then I enter the dark hallway and ask myself if Eric would have the balls to throw me in the chasm if he knew I'm one of his so hated Divergents too.

**KATE'S POV**

"I thought you said you lived alone." I hear an unknown voice that sounds quite confused as I rub my eyes.

"I do. I thought she had left by now, but she's stubborn enough." I open my eyes and nearly jump. Zander is standing right in front of me. "I hope you enjoyed your beauty sleep on my couch." He sounds a little annoyed but at least he's not scared or something anymore.

I stand up and find a blonde tall guy with green eyes staring back at me from the entrance – front door still opened. Not really sure what to do and momentarily forgetting why I came here in first place, I turn to Zander.

"Are you going to introduce us or should I do the honours?" I ask.

Zander looks down, as though he's quite embarrassed – something I've never seen before, let's just state.

"Kate this is Matthew. He came to see the apartment." He says on a low voice.

"Oh, so you've finally found a roommate?" I ask, smiling at Matthew. "I was his previous one."

"Sort of." Zander says, and I can still that there's still something I'm missing.

"Oh, come on. I thought we'd agreed we're doing this for real." Matthew looks at me, as if he's ready to drop a bomb or so. "I'm his boyfriend. And you can call me Mat."

"Your-? Oh My God! Is this what you've been hiding?! You're such a silly head Carrot. You could have told me!" I say, having to contain myself not to hug him right there. I feel like a proud mom.

"Wait, did you just call him Carrot?" Mat asks, breaking into laughing.

"Thank you, now you just gave him another reason to laugh at me." Zander says, sitting in the couch. Then he turns to Mat. "And are you going to say there all night or are you going to close the damn door and come in?"

Mat stops laughing but keeps a smile on his face as his closes the door. I'm still standing so when he passes by me before joining his boyfriend on the couch he whispers, "Be careful, someone's quite sensitive tonight. I made him assume he liked me about forty minutes ago." I smile, thinking that I actually like this Mat, but as I remember what I came here for my smile fades.

"Zan..." I start, but I can't really say it in front of Mat, can I?

"I know why you're here." He takes my note out of his jeans pocket. "But if we're doing this, Mat's on. And there are some things you should know about him."

Not really sure about what's happening I nod. "I'm all ears."

"Mat's an Erudite. Well used to be." I'm about to say something like _you're dating the enemy?!_ but he gives me a look and I pinch my lips together, allowing him to continue. "He got out of there when he understood things were getting weird – bad weird. I told him some stuff about Evelyn when he became factionless, just to put him aware, but if let me, he can help us."

"How?" I ask.

"Just tell me I can trust both of you with all the information and I'll tell you how." He says.

Mat looks at both of us expectantly, and I see some Dauntless fire in his eyes. Reminding me of the other blonde guy I left behind.

"Are you sure you willing to put him under that risk?"

"I already am." This time, Mat stands for himself.

"What do you mean?" I shake my head, confused.

"I never officially left the Erudite. For them, I'm still one of his members."

**A/N: Thought this would leave a little of suspense to it. Idk. Tell me what you think on some reviews please? :D Remember that I'm only trying to please you, and the better I know what you think about my writing the more I can improve it.**

**Best Is. **


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